I will be ok

I think it all started after one of my pilates classes. Pam, who has turned into an amazing friend for me, and I started talking. I really do not like any of the instructors I have had here and really miss my old one.

She looks at me and says, "You sound really homesick".

I never thought I was, but I told her, yes I miss my dry cleaners, my parents, my alma mater, my cousins, my hair stylist...But all of that took me 23 years to build.

Lately my dreams have been images of my old office. Us playing practical jokes on each other and poking fun at one another. I would be lying if I said I missed it, but for some reason, I feel I am right where I am suppose to be.

And here is the best thing about all of this, him. I am not going to lie anymore to anyone. I am depressed about where I am career wise. Some days I am better than others, but I do have those days where I break down and just sob, like this past Friday. Luckily he was home and just held me.

You always watch those movies where the guy completely rescues the girl from where she is at in her life. I sit there in awe of how amazing that kind of love is and then it hit me, I am living it right now.


I know this deployment is going to be tough, but I am not too worried. Granted, I moved down to a completely different city less than 4 months ago where I did not know a single soul. I have a goals list that I will be publishing soon (because once you write it down, then the goals become real). It's about striving, not surving, right :)

I will be tested over and over again in the next 13 months. I say bring it on. I also know that come December 2009, I am going to be a different person. I think a better person and definitely a hell of a stronger person.