Lets hold on to what we got...

As part of our Christmas present, my parents bought theater tickets for my sister, brother, his girlfriend, and I. Today we headed into the city and saw "Jersey Boys", a story about the Four Seasons.

I enjoyed it so much. I never realized how many fun hits they released such as "Walk Like a Man", "Big Girls Don't Cry", "Let's Hold On to What We Got", and so many more.

While talking about plays, I began listing the ones I have seen and noticed I have been to quite a few such as Hairspray, Tony & Tina's Wedding, Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, Lion King...I never thought I would consider myself a theater person, but I actually LOVE going to see Broadway shows. Hopefully I can catch a few more this year.

Marley & Me

So as Dakota curled up in my lap on the couch as she does every night, I finished the final pages of Marley & Me, of course with tears in my eyes.

It was an easy read and call me crazy, I pictured the characters in this story looking somewhat like Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston. Now, I can finally go see the movie. I loved the book and felt he truly wrote down what every dog owner feels. Someone I know read the book and did not like it. I could not help but tie it to the fact she never owned a dog.

I find it funny before I decided to even finish the book on this Saturday night, I wanted to write about Dakota and Daisy due to a question my brother brought up on Christmas Eve.

"If you HAD to give up one of them, which one would you give up?". I finally understood my mom, when faced with a difficult decision, would say, "It's like picking a favorite child".

I told him without hesitation, neither one. And he replied with exaggeration on the word, "HAD" and again, I said no thanks.

I love how Dakota curls up with me every night no matter where I lay or her fierce bark when she feels our environment might be threatened. I love how Daisy can honestly lick your hand, face, leg, whatever, for hours straight or how she sleeps on her back with all four paws in the air. Is that comfortable?

Sure, Dakota sometimes annoys me with how much she wants to cuddle where she bats my hand when I try to type or read and Daisy really does live in her own world from time to time, but the good definitely out weighs the bad. And not to mention, they might be two of the biggest reasons I thrive during deployment.

Attempting to keep up with my book club idea, I found a list of questions online. Three really intrigued me to think and at last, type away....

Is the story of "life and love" primarily between John and his dog, or was Marley just a sidekick in a story about John and his family? Were you surprised by how much non-dog related content the book contained? Did you enjoy the parts about John's family or did you wish he would just get on to another dog story?

I really felt if Grogan slipped away from the Marley theme, even for one chapter, the story would be lost. Do not get me wrong, I know the man loved his family more than anything, but he wanted to portray his love for the "World's Worst Dog".

Is this only a book for pet lovers or would people without pets like it too?

This question stumps me. Any non-dogowner out there who absolutely loved this book? I guess those I spoke with, who do not own a dog, really did not get the book hype.

Why do you think Marley & Me topped the bestsellers list after it was released?

Oh, how easy! John Grogan only reinforces crazy dog owners, like myself, really do exist :)



Any thoughts?

Two Weeks Down!

I came running down the stairs this morning to find my parents eating breakfast and like a little kid, I said, "Guess what, guess what?". They of course replied with a confused, "What?". I then said with great enthusiasm, "Only 50 more weeks to go! I made it 2 weeks already!". They shook their heads at me and smiled.

Hey, the glass is always half-full, right?

This past week:

• Still eagerly reading Marley & Me and hope to be done by the end of the weekend
• Started eliptical training this week, which will turn into running very soon
• Attended the church that I grew up with and went to school at for 8 years while home
• CHOPPED 7 inches off my hair!
• Care package safely arrived to him with cookies still tasting delicous
• Survived Christmas :)

I enjoyed a wonderful Christmas with both my family and his family and received amazing gifts.

In the past 2 weeks, I have also found comfort in my daily emails to him. I label the subject of all of my emails with the number of days until he returns. Today will read 351. I keep an index card in my purse at all times and write down my daily happenings as they occur, otherwise I am afraid I will forget something at the end of the night when I finally sit down to type.

Before he deployed, I created a contact list through my email of his parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, old football coaches, classmates, etc. I sent 2 emails already updating everyone on his address and overall process and will continue to do so in the next 12 months. The responses I received warm my heart. His family and friends have completely rallied behind me for his deployment.

Lately I found support in the most unusual places and that is not a bad thing and only reinforces how blessed I truly am with the people in my life.

Tradition

I am half way through our first Christmas apart in 9 years...

Tonight I definitely missed the butterflies from him pulling into my driveway every year and trying to rush me out the door to make our annual Chinese dinner with his grandparents and parents. We always dressed up so nicely and I couldn't wait for him to see me all dressed up and I couldn't wait to see him!

No Chinese dinner this year. He is gone and his grandfather is sick.

I missed sitting next to him on the couch as we plowed through our gifts from my parents. I miss him analayzing every one of my gifts and attempting to put it together, before he even finishes unwrapping all of his.

This year, my little brother's first girlfriend joined us.

Christmas morning at his house has been my ultimate favorite where we spend hours opening gifts and laughing at anything and everything.

This year because both of his siblings have serious relationships and must attempt the daunting task of splitting time, everyone must be on the road early tomorrow morning, we opened gifts tonight.

Before all of the festivities, I came close to throwing myself a pity party, before I realized some traditions fade, but I should enjoy the ones that stay.

My mom, sister, and I went for our annual mani and pedi on Christmas Eve and just gossiped about all the good stuff happening in our and everyone elses lives.

I made it half-way through my first Christmas without him in 9 years because of my crazy family, his sweet, funny family, and my beautiful puppies.

I know some traditions will go away, but as cliche as it may sound, the love in my family room and his living room tonight will never, ever fade.

Face pounce

Oh Daisy Mae, how you love to pounce faces and provide an endless supply of kisses. Now granted, I am use to this every morning. Around 8am, I cover my entire face because I know what is about to happen. No reason in particular, just to give some loving.

Tonight, I walked into my parents room to say good-night after a 6 hour drive back home and sure enough Daisy came flying through the door, onto the bed and headed straight for my dad.

He laughed and laughed as she tried to dig her way underneath the covers to his face. It really made my heart smile.

And of course Grandma let them take a few things from their stockings early. So my girls enjoyed themselves tonight.

I am not enjoying the concept of 10 degrees, solid ice, and of course no fenced in backyard. We are definitely heading over to his parent's house tomorrow with their beautiful, huge backyard surrounded by white fencing.

Week One

As I pulled the garbage can to the curb this morning, I suddenly remembered doing it the day he left, exactly a week ago. And in my glass half full moment, time kind of flew by...

Even though I am only 7 days into my goal list, I feel I did accomplish a few things:

• Care package full of a few TV shows on DVDs, Christmas cookies from Megan's' wonderful cookie exchange party tonight, card, gum, power bars, and his favorite hat, is ready to be sent out tomorrow morning, December 20th.
• I am really enjoying "Marley & Me" and might have found a book club here in Clarksville!
• His mom and sister joined me at Church on Sunday and I attended their Wednesday' Advent Service. The pastor's wife actually introduced herself and we chatted for a good 20 minutes.

Another goal I did not mention, but I intend to throw myself into in the next year, is stopping Daisy from jumping on people when they walk into the door...so annoying! I blame this bad habit solely on him.

My week consisted of a few lunches with some pretty amazing women. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful support system here where I am actually excited to hang out and get to know them bettter in the next 12 months.

Baking & Lyrics

Something about baking cookies to a fresh batch of new music you uploaded on your I-pod...

I download Kenny Chesney's "The Woman With You". I finally listend closely to the words and I love, love, love the lyrics.

She said the girl I was with the business degree probally wouldn't recognize me.
I was going around the bank.
I was going to run them out.
Now all I want to run is a bubble bath.
Back then you know I had this plan.
Before all of this reality set in.
Here comes life boy ready or not.
Hey I wanted it all and thats what I got.

Just when it feels like I can't make it through.
She said it sure is nice to just be the woman with you

My best friend

Missing his touch is obvious...

Tonight was the first time I actually talked to him since he left. I felt my mind race 100 miles a minute because I missed my best friend and just wanted to spill my guts. I've sent him probably 10 emails in the 5 days since he left, I continually feel I am going to forget to tell him something. He told me to keep the emails coming.

And this is what might make the next year somewhat difficult. I've been turning to him day in and day out for the past eight and a half years. But thank goodness for technology.

And we ended on this:

Him: I love you baby
Me: I love you too, probably more
Him: That's true, but only because your heart is bigger

Exciting news

Well I think I found the perfect gift for his mother. About a month or so ago I went to a arts and crafts fair on post and saw a woman who created BDU aprons with all of their patches (name, rank, Ranger, Airborne, etc.).

As soon as I got home, I realized I wanted to get it for her and of course I had no way of contacting the apron lady. Well my friend who lives down the street finally found her number for me.

So today I headed over to her house and turns out she will have it done in time for Christmas!

Big Picture

My whole life, some great influences told me to just look at the big picture.

And you know what I say to that now...No thank you.

There are times during the day where my mind wanders to the concept of ONE ENTIRE YEAR without him. I am sure time flies, but not if I take it 12 months at a time. I immediately stop my mind from going there and remind myself to take just today head on. So today went well.

Pros:
Created and addressed all my Christmas cards
Micro-chipped my babies
Michelle won the Biggest Loser
Eliminated a few more things from my very long checklist

Cons:
I am fighting this terrible cold and I am losing!

Our former roommate's girlfriend, Sarah, had her deployment day pushed back almost 4 days. Her family left and I immediately offered to take her whatever the time. She stayed with me last night. I enjoyed her company without a doubt. Well her flight kept getting pushed back and now she leaves tomorrow morning and has to sleep at the hangar. I couldn't even go get her and bring her back here in a nice comfortable bed.

Glass half-full moment: Thank goodness I did not go through this with him. One good-bye was good enough.

Droping her off this afternoon, the same drive and parking lot where I took the love of my life, did not have the same emotions on me (go figure). I am almost glad I drove her because I went back to the scene of the crime with no knots in my stomach.

And finally, some of you asked for my top secret recipe for the butter pecan cupcakes. And now I reveal it with great pride:

Come on, I need another 12 months before I start attempting things from scratch. But boy do these taste good.

Hold me to them...

I wrote these down on a scrap piece of paper quite some time ago. I figure once I publish them online, they become real. My goals for the next 12 months.

Find a Job
Here is the obvious one. We don't care about the pay, just my sanity.

Start a blog
My best friend from college and I plan on starting a blog about my passion, sports.

Run the Nashville Half-Marathon

Run the Chicago Marathon
Thats right, 26.2 miles. I use to love running in college. And Chicago is the easiest course in the country.

Complete my personal trainer's license

LEARN HOW TO SEW!
I want to sew all of my and his college shirts into a blanket. Any advice?

Finish my scrapbook
I scrapbooked our first 5 years together, now I need to work on the next 4 years.

Host game night once a month for my wonderful friends here
I got Wii Fit for Christmas, Rockband 2, and not to mention every board game under the sun :)

Cook for the boys once a month.
We have a few friends from WP here and they promised to take care of me, its the least I can do

Cook three new things a month

Use Quicken to budget

Read 1 new book a month
I already started Marley and Me, apparently I need to read the book before the movie comes out. I also been flirting with starting a book club online. I would love to discuss some of the books I read

Send a package on the 20th on every month.

Accomplish at least 5 "big girl things" in the next 12 months
Pretty much everything He or my dad did for me all my life

Decorate the living room and guest room
Only two rooms left to decorate in our house, not bad.

Church every Sunday
Already went this Sunday with his mom and sister.

Landscape
I really need to dig up some ugly rocks in our front and backyard in the Spring

In general, I really would like to pay more attention to detail. He is my detail-orientated one and I always depend on him for that kind of stuff. I guess I need to do it all by myself this year.

Also, I learned throughout my life that I am constantly surrounded my so many talented people. For example, I feel just in my blog community there are so many women doing so many wonderful things. I really hope to embrace what I am good at in the next year.

D-Day

His last day? Pretty much everything I expected. I was ok with the chaos of family, packing, and last minute errands because my time leading up to that day was amazing.

8:30am We enjoyed a wonderful breakfast at Cracker Barrel with the family. We laughed a lot then ran a few errands at Wal-Mart. I bought him his Christmas present, a portable DVD player. Thanks MTM-to-be :)

10:30 we arrived home and he finished packing with his mom. I said no thanks because I did my fair share of packing beforehand.

12pm we all helped cover the pool. The day before the cover caught wind, blew me over and I landed in the hole in our deck. I have the bruise still to prove my fall was hard.

1pm I started lunch, his favorite, a sassy corn-bread chilli and made his favorite dessert, butter pecan cupcakes. I let the girls lick the bowl and they loved every minute.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of finally preparations and lots of phone calls. The family made jokes about how he was off to his first day of school with one huge backpack.

Before dinner we took our Christmas photo by the new stockings his mom bought for all 4 of us. After all the picture taking, we shared with them our news and lots of hugs were exchanged.

8pm After a nice steak dinner and lots of laughs around our dining room table, he changed into his uniform. I stayed strong pretty much day, until we toasted champaign for his last night and of course when he said good-bye to the dogs. At that moment, tears started to fall. I cannot even imagine saying good-bye to our children in the future.

9:30pm We pulled up to the hangar and you could just feel the somber mood in the air. It was a cold December night where you could see everyone's breath. A lot of men and women in uniform shouting things to one another and we unloaded his belongings into the back of a truck.

10:30pm The rest of the night, we kept light. Sitting around in a circle with his family was hard, because no one knew what to say. As soon as I saw CLR, I jumped up and went to go talk to her and for some reason, I finally felt somewhat relaxed. No words needed to be exchanged about our feelings, we knew exactly what the other one felt.

My friend Jeni and I pretended to fix their rifles and a lot of laughs and pictures continued. His co-pilot on his 6th or something deployment kept the mood very light. I love his stories.

11:20pm Then the announcement came. Ten minutes to say good-bye. His family said their good-byes first and we had a few minutes alone. He was sweet and ensuring I would kick butt in the next year. I told him not only did I know I could handle this, but he could handle it as well. He held my hand and led me as far as he could. He left me with Jeni as he headed to formation. We hugged and she turned to me and said "Aren't you so proud of them".

And I actually smiled. With the millions of emotions I felt, I cannot believed I left that one out! She was absolutely right. I was so damn proud and again at ease for the time being.

We watched them load the buses. After he shook all the important people's hands. I said his name. He turned at the last possible minute and said "Love you baby". His mom thanked me as she caught his look on tape.

12am We drove away and headed home. His sister, my best friend, actually slept with me the first night. We talked until 2am and I finally fell fast asleep.

I survived. And now I am going to thrive...

And we are under way...

Dakota wet the bed last night and Daisy left me another surprise by the door.

Today is Day One.

Gotta keep going....

Preparation

During my on-air shifts at the radio station, I read and re-read what I planned to say on the next break.

I guess I am making this process a TAD bit easier by thinking and saying out loud what I plan to do in the next few months. I have a goal list a few pages long. Yes, ambitous I know.

Somehow I forgot to mention his sister has a 99% chance of landing her 1st clinical here over the summer. She's actually one of my best friends, so God sent me one blessing already.

I went on usps.com and ordered 10 boxes to ship to my house for free. I also visited the boys favorite coffee place in town and prepared a box to ship to them when they get there.

So as my checklist dwindles down, I find myself with terrible knots in my stomach. I've been pacing back and forth in the kitchen, following him around the house while he packs, and trying to fight back the tears I feel coming on as we speak.

The hustle and bustle over the last few days really took my mind off things. I slowly prepared for myself for his absence. I guess I never prepared myself to actually say good-bye.

Tis the season...

With his upcoming deployment running in conjunction with the holidays, I guess I am learning a alot about priorities. For instance, it looks as though a bomb went off in my house, a giant ACU/BDU bomb. And with family arriving tomorrow, I am surprisingly calm and ok with it all.

I also have yet to work out since our return home from Chicago. Oh well, right? And today, although we do not have a ton of money to spare, my friend Jeni and I "adopted" 2 little boys from the Soldier Tree here at the PX and bought clothes and of course toys. I loved the feeling of handing over a bunch of wrapped presents for someone else's kids.

Tonight we decorated our Christmas tree and although we have 1 actual ornament, I enjoyed our memory together while trying to place the bulbs perfectly on the tree.

And of course my kiddos. Something tells me they will help me more in the 12 months more than I have ever helped them. While in Chicago, God blessed my puppies with 3-4 inches of snow. Trying to get them inside was not necessarily the best present for me, but I have ton of pictures of digging, rolling, and running in the very cold, white snow.

Also, on a somewhat amusing note. We like being in bed between 10-11pm every night. Last night we were both upstairs in the office trying to get some paperwork, etc. done and Dakota would not stop whinning and spinning in circles. In between her temper tantrums, she would place her head on my lap and look at me as if I was doing something wrong. I finally looked at my clock and went, whoa, it is way past our bedtime. Once we headed downstairs to go to bed, all was right, in her world at least.

Making a list.

Oh the checklists we have created over the past 48 hours and the wonderful feeling I get when we cross it off together. Here are the few big ones, for me at least.

Christmas Tree -CHECK
Decorate for Christmas- CHECK
Set up Skype- CHECK

And brand new computer :) - CHECK!

My computer from college is ancient. With my past job, they gave me a brand new computer that I unfortunately had to give it back. So yesterday while completing our Christmas shopping, Dave informed me of my gift this year. I absolutely love it.

It will probably be the most useful gift ever, especially in the next year.

Everything I could have asked for and more.

December 9, 2008

On this very gloomy day where the rain did not stop...

He and I made a memory, one I will probably never forget. He always said its just me and him in this together and today represented just that.

Countdown

I finally cried. When we left our families on Sunday, my dad turned to him and started crying. I have not seen my dad cry...ever I think. And then he said, "Come home safe for my baby girl, she loves you and I love you".

Oh thank you dad.

In typical Army fashion, they moved his D-day up 2 days. I expected this, but his family who planned on coming down two days earlier, now will arrive the day he leaves.

And now? We are sitting by the fire, watching One Tree Hill, our favorite, while drinking coffee on this cold rainy day.

I am so blessed.

::Sidenote:: I hate the ferrero rocher commercial where they ring the doorbell. It is not sensitive to people who own dogs. Dakota goes crazy EVERY single time the commercial comes on TV.

Just fine

Well after too many consecutive days of spending every waking moment together, I decided for a little break last night.

My mom and I agreed to drag our butts over to my sister's with monopoly and in our flannel pjs. My sister made her husband go and buy wine. With all four of us, the laughing did not stop.

Its been quite some time since I last had more than 1 glass of wine. Somewhere around midnight my sister refused my offer to fold her laundry for $200 worth of monopoly money so I decided to spread her laundry all over her condo. We then began wrestling.

I lost in wrestling and monopoly. Rough night, but oh so much fun.

Under Pressure

The constant bouncing back and forth between houses can at times be a bit stressful for us right now. I also realized in the past 5 months, we have spent every day and night together.

And what an accomplishment that we still love each other and laugh while playing Wii or walking the dogs at night. I remember way back when, hearing people talk about how different living together versus just dating really can be. I never understood it until now and it is kind of hard to explain.

Of course with all the visits we made over the past 2 weeks to say his good-byes, people tilt their head and ask, "And so how are handling this?". I look and honestly reply, "Just fine, I prepared for this day over 7 years ago when he first told me he wanted to go to West Point".

It is inevitable how much I will miss him and his victory dance, his hugs and laugh, the way he talks to the dogs, and so much more, but for some reason I do not find myself contemplating him leaving or the fact he will not return until late 2009. I actually wish I could push him onto a plane and get this show on the road. I am actually concentrating more on my goals I need to accomplish and the life I need to start living without him.

At lunch with the wonderful Megan a few weeks ago, she made an excellent point of how there is another life you are ready to get started in order to begin the countdown for his return.

That is where I am at now.

For awhile I thought it would be his mom consoling me as he walked away to get on his flight, but the more I talk to her, I realize I actually have to prepare myself to be the strong one. Today I saw his grandfather cry as Dave walked out the door. I gave him a big hug and said, he is going to be OK. And when I stopped by his dad's office, his secretary told me how nervous his father gets when talking about him leaving.

When Dave turned to me the other day and asked how do I feel. I responded with an enthusiastic, "I am so excited for you".

Does this sound crazy? I am actually excited for the love of my life to head into a war zone? Over the years when I mention West Point, I am immediately hit with the questions of deployment. I respond quite confidently with the whole, "If you want people over there, you want people over there like him".

He has worked the past 6 and a half years and prepared for this very moment of his life.

And let me tell you, I guess I have done some preparation of my own because right now my whole mentality is bring it on.

Diet anyone?

Peanut butter cookies with a chocolate chip in the middle, puppy chow, pizza, stuffing, chinese food, McDonald's, pumpkin bread...

These are all a few of my favorite things, well this past week at least. If you know me, I am a absolute terrible eater (chocolate is a must for breakfast). This is typically not a problem due to pilates classes, dog walking, and runs on the treadmill, however my commute to the gym rounds off to a 6 hour drive.

My mom just recovered from my brother's football season. Tailgating is the devil according to her so she recently purchased the "Melt It Off" program which contains a 3-day kick-off. She does a lot better with support so I said, why not.

I've been lucky over the years. I never suffered any body image issues ever in my life, but as I like to tell those who laugh at me as I say diet, I just know where I am comfortable weight wise and lets just say, I'm not there :)

So while I am eating egg-whites and grapefruit for breakfast, Dave chows down on some Cinamon Toast Crunch and peanut butter M&Ms, my favorite selection for breakfast.

I never realized how much temptation is around during the holidays because for the most part, I just give in before the food even gets a chance to tempt me.

Still holding strong 6 hours later. Our lunch selection today consists of tuna, lettuce, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, and rick cake for me and leftover chinese food for David.

I am doing this for my mother. At least thats what I keep replaying over and over in my head as I stare at Dave's mom's turtle cookies.

Let it snow...

The best part about being from Chi-town and living down south is I can now consider snow a gift...

I know it has been awhile.

Some accomplishments:

Visited with best friend from high school who is the most beautiful, glowing pregnant woman

Gained quite a bit of weight

Finished a 500 page book in 4 days. Does anyone else love Jodi Picoult? I cannot put her books down.

We will be visiting family until Sunday. My mom and I are planning to start a 3-day diet workout tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes.

T-minus 13 days before D-Day. Some days I would love to put him on a plane the very next day. I never thought we would be that couple, but we have been at each other's throats and get aggrivated much faster.

Time to go walk all 4 dogs. I wish I had a camera.

Bah Humbug

Since he will be gone for the holidays, I only wanted to decorate the inside of the house with two items, a Christmas tree and stockings.

We set out today to try and accomplish this feat.

I wanted to find the perfect tree, the perfect stockings, start the perfect tradition, make memories together...blah, blah, blah. I did realize one thing today, fake trees are expensive!

Shopping overwhelmed me. I did not find a tree or the stockings.

I gave up and gave him the pouty lip in our 4th store. I finally found a $2 miniature snowman. It cheered me up. And if you walk into our house, it is our only Christmas decoration.

Hurry up December 26th so I can buy cheap decorations for next year!

Tonight while cleaning the house and listening to Christmas music, we both kind of laughed at our snowman on top of the fireplace mantle.

And what do you know, we made our 1st Christmas memory living together...

Second Class Citizen?

It all started this morning.

He passed Pathfinder and the graduation ceremony was going to take place this morning. I told him last night I wanted to go with him onto post, since I am still a civilian in their eyes.

He said I should be fine.

Now as we approach on deployment, I am worrying about getting onto post, getting information, etc. He is my best friend and I tell him everything, but I never told him this.

I drive to Gate 4 to get my guest pass and notice the line is out the door. Here I thought 40 minutes would be plenty of time to get my guest pass. Well with people cutting in front of me and the ladies behind the counter goofing off and looking at cell phone pictures, I ended up being 10 minutes late.



The poor guy at the gate who inspects the car just let me go and told me I would be OK. I could not stop crying, I just let it all out.

I stopped when I walked up to the building. He walked out and I just lost it. I started crying and swearing. To sum up my conversation I just said, "After 8 and a half years of dealing with crap, I am nobody to the Army so I might as well be nobody to you. Why am I living in an Army town and am a nobody". Luckily he was the only one to notice my breakdown.

I missed his graduation. I missed the pinning and to put icing on the cake, he informed me he was the honor grad in his class. I wanted to be there so bad.

I just continued to cry and cry. He was incredibly sweet. I eventually calmed down after we arrived home and he made me lunch. I have no idea why I cried. I am usually strong and make cracks when it comes to our situation.

Sometimes it just gets to me after all these years, I feel like a second class citizen.

The worst part, my eyes hurt so bad, still after 7+ hours.

Rollerblade Diaster Take 1

I knew it was only a matter of time.

Good ol' Newton once said that those in motion should stay in motion. This is how I describe my daily outings with my puppies on the roller blades.

Due to the weather, I am bundled up with my i-pod, gloves, hat, sweatshirt etc. so my athleticism (ha) is lacking.

We just started out and typically it takes awhile to get them going. I go about a block and Dakota becomes fixated on a Chihuahua. I know my subdivision like the back of my hand. I've seen every dog, car, kid, etc. And I have not seen this dog.

Here is a side note. One of my pet peeves involves electric fences in the front yard. I am slowly getting over this as we know the 3 dogs in the area who jump off the front porch and dart for the street after my puppies. Daisy and Dakota know to keep going or else.

Back to the Chihuahua.

I see it in the front yard and it begins chasing after us. Now, here I assume it is another front yard electric fence.

No dice.

The dog continues to chase after us (WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS?!). Daisy, my big baby, never goes after dogs, however, she realizes, "Hey, I am bigger than THIS dog". As my dogs continue to tangle me up, I stop (HUGE mistake) and am ready to put the smack down on them. The Chihuahua finally notices the fight is 2 v 1, scares a little and dashes in front of car. The car stops.

I worry about the Chihuahua and as I worry, I loose Daisy's leash! She takes off after the dog. Dakota wants to chase too pulls me SMACK into the stopped car. The poor driver hears a big ol' thud on the side of his car. Somehow, through all of this, I still manage to hold onto to Dakota.

But not for long.

Daisy chased the dog across the street. Dakota wants to help and when she has her mind set on something, by golly, she is going to get it. So my wonderful dog pulls me into a yard through a HUGE 5 foot bush, where a couple peacefully works on their landscape.

I finally let go and tumble right at the feet of the lady who so kindly offered her help. Thank goodness for all the padding I wore. Sweet Daisy notices mommy is down and comes to my rescue. Dakota is going in circles after this dog 5 houses down. The lady grabbed Daisy's leash and luckily when I call Dakota, she comes.

The couple told me that I impress them everyday with 2 puppies on roller blades. I said nothing like this has happened, but I knew it was only a matter of time.

Once we got going again, all was well.

Daisy and Dakota are both passed out on the kitchen floor.

Today's life lessons:

1) Listen to Newton's Law of Motion
2) Neighbors should REALLY know the location of their dogs


Also, my subject is Take 1 because let's face it, I am sure I will be sharing more stories like this in the near future.

Your eyes are the size of the moon.

He bought Rockband 2 last weekend and we have played almost every night since.

If you can picture me singing Panic at the Disco, The Who, and Modest Mouse, you will realize my amusement as I glance over and watch him rock out on the drums.

Losers?

Probably.

Fun?

Absolutely.

He probably should be studying for the massive amounts of work provided by Pathfinder, but he chooses video games with me instead.

And its a beautiful life...

My recent selection of television shows have convinced me that I want a large family.

Extreme Home Makeover showed a family of 13. I was kind of jealous. Not to mention I am uber excited for the Jon & Kate Plus Eight renowal of vows tonight and last night TBS aired "Cheaper By The Dozen" .

Daisy and Dakota convince me everyday as well...

I absolutely love a clean house. I grew up in a household where we HAD to make our bed everyday. I guess this is why I use to hate dog hair so much and thought 2 children max.

Tonight as Daisy decided to race past me and run inside with the dirty bone she buried in the backyard to jump on the couch, I realized something. I attempted to grab her and tried yelling then I said, "I give up". I really have given up. I'll take a semi-messy (let's face it, I still vaccum and mop everyday) for these guys anyday.

I love chaos. There are 4 years between my sister, brother, and I. Chaos suits me well.

Now I just have to convince the "daddy". Tonight he told me he wanted 2 kids...Sigh.

Gut Check

Ryan moved in with us about a week after we moved into this house. He needed a place to stay before he deployed at the end of this year. With a 4 bedroom house for just the two of us, we welcomed him with open arms.

Today when he got home from work, we were talking and he reminded me that his block leave starts today. By the time we get home from our block leave, he will already be on his way over.

He left at 4pm and I hugged him good-bye. He is tremondous with the dogs and I feel I can talk to him about anything. I'm really going to miss him.

We're having people over for dinner tonight so I decided to clean his bathroom/side of the house. I walked into his room...completely empty. My stomach sank just a little.

Its beginning.

Thursday

I woke up early this morning to use the washroom and noticed a much larger man in be my bed. McSteamy was sleeping next to me.

I immediately woke from my dream. I am more of a McDreamy kind of girl anyways.

I realized tonight is Thursday and Grey's Anatomy is on TV. Kind of weird? Yes, very...


He also noticed last night during Daisy's puppy class that she listens a lot more to me.

NO KIDDING!

People always assume Dave will be the disciplinarian if we have kids since he is the disciplined, calm one and I am more of a free spirit. I laugh when I hear this since I picture my kids running to daddy to escape from "mean mommy".

I guess nothing bothers me more than kids who lack discipline.

Letting it out...

I can't stop thinking/dreaming about work. I need closure, just to let it all out.

I've been tempted on more than 1 occasion to email my former boss, Rich, and tell him how I really feel, to let him know...

Dear Boss,

On July 6, 2008, in a momentary lapse of judgement, you came out and told my mom that you were in love with me. On July 9, 2008, my parents sat me down and told me what you had said. My life took a drastic turn on that day. There were times were I wished you never said anything and went about running your business as a professional.

You continue to ask my parents how am I doing. Well here is how I am doing:

I am struggling with my career. I always felt so sure of myself. I feel betrayed. For over a year I busted my butt for you and concentrated 110% on my work. The job fit me perfectly. It was a dream job to say the least. I felt I was heading down the right path to that "corner office". I loved my office, my co-workers, my clients, my emails, and our work enviornment.

You took that away.

I would like to say that I hate you, but hate is a strong word. I would like to say I am angry with you, but angry is a negative emotion and personally a waste of time.

I spent the last 4 months wishing you had never said that to my mom, but....God has a plan for me and I believe that there really is a time and purpose for everything under heaven.

I started to create new sources of happiness, deep within myself. I'm learning more about who I am and what I really am doing here on earth.

So my search to find the new career carries on, I thank God everyday for the special people in my life who support me and will never let me down.

Things change and people change. And I will find myself cherishing the memories I made over the past year, knowing they are exactly where they are suppose to be....

In the past.


Sometimes I wish I had the balls to email this. But I think writing it all down was a huge first step for me.

Thank goodness for blogging :)

Article

I love the Yahoo buzz stories and usually at the end of the day, we'll lay in bed reading through some of the articles that interest us.

We found one yesterday in USA Today about the "correct" age for marriage. It was interesting and agreed with "the older the better".

Article

Now I don't necessarily agree with it. My sister was engaged by 21 and married by 22. I would hope her marriage would last forever. The article made an excellent point that:

Older marriages (30s vs. 20s) were more cohesive in the sense they did things more often together as a couple

I don't think that point has anything to do with age, just maturity. A very smart woman on her 4th marriage once told me that you learn after awhile you just have to marry your best friend.

We are not waiting to be older or wiser and I actually am fond of those who marry young and make it last.

However, I will admit that the divorce rate in this country scares me.

Must be love

You know how I know I am growing up...

How much I love my Dyson Vaccum. Dyson Animal Vaccum to be exact :)

I use to HATE dog hair, actually I loathed dog hair. My shirt and pants would always be covered with dog hair from his family dogs and I would just get so frustrated. Now I have 2 dogs, but I have the best vaccum in the world.

Yes, you can go ahead and picture my face lighting up as I clean our carpets full of dog hair and dirt from his boots. I honestly use this thing everyday. Today while I was "sweeping" the kitchen floor, I thought to myself, this thing is amazing.

He bought it for me for my birthday. I told him today it was probably the best gift ever.

I use to be so confused as the adults in my family during Christmas would get excited about house stuff. Now I feel their love.

Purpose

I convinced myself to head to the library this past week thanks to Becca and her post forever ago about her love for that place.

I flipped through "A Purpose Driven Life" for about a half hour while I was there. It is such a powerful book and drove home a lot of really good points about life and purpose.

I've been really down on myself for not working, but while I read, it said the best thing you can give to any relationship is time.

Not only am I giving a ton of time to him, Daisy, and Dakota, I am actually giving time to my friends. I am a workaholic by nature. My days since I was 14 have run from 6am until midnight. I was terrible at keeping up with friends, updating live journal, facebook etc. Terrible could be a huge understatement actually. Now I feel so much better about where I am "relationship" wise with a lot more people.

God has granted me the gift of time. I really should enjoy it more.

Glass is always half full.

Parental Guidance

On a more cheerful note..

Something tells me I need to work on my parenting skills. As I am typing this and Daisy and Dakota came crashing into my back during their morning wrestling session.

When Dave comes home from work, we'll be in the office working on our separate computers and the dogs will just bark and "rumble" with each other. He looks at me and then yells, "Doesn't this bother you" and I look at him and reply, "What are you talking about"...."Oh yeah, them...not really".

This past Sunday, we left the dogs outside for a little longer than we would have liked. The result:




Muddy paws!



Daisy squirmed all over and eventually escaped from the bathtub. Dave and I chased after our extremely wet and slippery puppy for a good minute or so. It was thoroughly entertaining and we could not stop laughing.

She is now in week three of puppy classes and surprisingly, is the star student. The two of us just smile at each other as the instructor continues to throw praise in her direction. We know that when we arrive home, she is not the same puppy.

Potty training is no longer an issue and has not been an issue for a little while now. I'm very thankful because I hear horror stories about training stubborn huskies all the time. She can now "sit", "lay down", "stand", and "leave it". I guess she's not that bad.

Dakota is still my angel and my snuggler.



This picture is not stage. We honestly fall asleep every once in awhile. Dakota had a severe ear infection so yet again, another trip to the vet. I told my very wonderful veterinarian that I have seen her more in the last 4 months than my own mother.

I still rollerblade twice a day with them. People find a girl on rollerblades with 2 dogs very amusing because everyone has a comment and then just laughs.

Hey, whatever makes them tired.

Election

I thought it would stop last night...but I think it just continues to get worse. Some of this stuff literally makes me sick to my stomach.

A little background, my parents are so far left and my boyfriend is so far right. I am split right down the middle. However, I do feel this is such a historic time in American. I am proud.

I will admit, I was not a Bush fan, but when he walked into West Point's stadium to give a pretty good speech to the class of 2006, I stood and cheered. When I saw him 2 years earlier at the Army-Navy game, again I stood and cheered and goosebumps filled my arms.

After all, he is the President of the United States, if I am not behind him, who is?

My friend Abby made a great point, if you believe in God and his authority, you shouldn't be disappointed in who gets elected.

I will pray for Obama just liked I prayed for President Bush. It's not about the 2 parties, it's about OUR 1 nation.

Stepping down from my soapbox now.

Deployment Fear #1

I know quite a few people whose husbands/significant others are deployed and I'm surprised no one has mentioned this...

Bad guys.

He continues to poke fun at me. We were looking at a house across the street from the woods and I told him, "Sorry, no can do, bad guys come from the woods".

Last night I had a dream that a Chinese terrorist was trying to break in and kill me. Granted, he was dressed like one of the star volleyball players on China's Olympic team. WEIRD! I woke up at 4:45am right before I chased after the bad guy and then became surrounded by 25 men in business suits ready to attack me and could not fall back asleep.

This morning I told him when he leaves 1) we need to activate ADT again 2) I need a gun 3) I need another dog 4) I need a phone connected to call 911 5) I need a baseball bat for underneath my bed (sense my exaggeration)

There is not a single night that passes where I am not forever thankful for the sense of security he provides. I think I am just a big baby at times. Every noise escalates by 10 decibels when he is gone. Law & Order SVU might be one of my top 5 favorite shows, now a must NOT watch in the next 12 months.

I believe he summed up my fear with a few short words before he left this morning: "You are a weirdo, but I love you".

Thank goodness for Dakota. She is not afraid of anyone. Daisy, on the other hand, prefers to hide under the bed until she gets the all clear from Dakota.


Sidenote: My dad played for a Chinese team overseas while serving in the Air Force and I am actually obsessed with China's volleyball team.

I will be ok

I think it all started after one of my pilates classes. Pam, who has turned into an amazing friend for me, and I started talking. I really do not like any of the instructors I have had here and really miss my old one.

She looks at me and says, "You sound really homesick".

I never thought I was, but I told her, yes I miss my dry cleaners, my parents, my alma mater, my cousins, my hair stylist...But all of that took me 23 years to build.

Lately my dreams have been images of my old office. Us playing practical jokes on each other and poking fun at one another. I would be lying if I said I missed it, but for some reason, I feel I am right where I am suppose to be.

And here is the best thing about all of this, him. I am not going to lie anymore to anyone. I am depressed about where I am career wise. Some days I am better than others, but I do have those days where I break down and just sob, like this past Friday. Luckily he was home and just held me.

You always watch those movies where the guy completely rescues the girl from where she is at in her life. I sit there in awe of how amazing that kind of love is and then it hit me, I am living it right now.


I know this deployment is going to be tough, but I am not too worried. Granted, I moved down to a completely different city less than 4 months ago where I did not know a single soul. I have a goals list that I will be publishing soon (because once you write it down, then the goals become real). It's about striving, not surving, right :)

I will be tested over and over again in the next 13 months. I say bring it on. I also know that come December 2009, I am going to be a different person. I think a better person and definitely a hell of a stronger person.

What Baby Wants...

He always says this to me and sometimes it just drives me crazy...Although.

It's funny because as 1 of 3 kids in a household where we lived paycheck to paycheck, being spoiled was not in the cards. I started babysitting at age 11 and began working in the "real world" at age 14.

But oh does he spoil me.

I fell in love with a house. Out of our price range for sure, but here I am sitting in the very house I wanted, but both thought was too expensive.

I have been eyeing a desk at the local furniture store. I am the queen of shopping around. I visited every website known to man and several other stores. Yesterday afternoon I sent him a text saying I knew which desk I wanted. Last night he walks in the door from work with a very heavy box in hand....My beautiful desk.

He got an electric start lawn mower that pushes itself for himself, but who are we kidding. He laughs hysterically when I try to start a regular lawn mower (stupid 5 foot nothing) by myself.

I have always, always wanted a husky since the day we met way back in 2000 and here she is, running around at my feet, lighting up every room she walks into.

He fixes the toilet, the pool, chases after the dogs when I just can't do it anymore, hung every single picture in our house exactly where I wanted, and still manages to love my very crazy self.

I guess he is right.

I hope I am doing this right...

So some pretty amazing people thought some pretty amazing things about my boring ol' blog.

I just wanted to say thanks to D.A.R. and Lacey. You girls are the best!



I am passing this award on to Aly at The Infertility Overachievers. Only because I have known her for forever and I know with all my heart she is going to make a wonderful mom.








I am going to pass the "I Love Your Blog" on to several girls. When I look back on the last few years of my life, it's funny to think that we have been communicating via blogs and live journal since 2004. We are all so different but oh so much in common.


I consider them as some of my best friends and most of all family. And when they go a week without updating, it's like I'm missing something in my life, ha :)


First of all, D.A.R. and MTM-to-be are some of the most courageous and intelligent girls I know. I'm very jealous of their post-college schooling. And their day to day life surving deployment helps me more than they know as I prepare for my first one in just 6 short weeks.

J.C. is hands down the strongest girl and I am oh so proud of her in everything she has done in her life. I know good things are coming her way.

Oh Erika, how much we have in common and how much I admire your career field. We will be in the same boat come December and know we will be there for each other.

And finally, Lacey Bean. One of the orginal WP girlfriends and one of the spunkiest and most fun girls ever. Her blog is so diverse in so many things and I always look forward to what she is going to blog about next.

So thank you girls. We have been through so much in the last 4 years and I know that I got through some things with a little more ease because of your insightful input.

Bad Day

I checked my old work website and found they finally replaced me.

It made my stomach turn and stung a little. I do not know why. I was the one who decided to leave even when they begged for me back...

I should brush it off and know I am better off in the long run, but for now, I am going to feel sorry for myself.

Puzzle Pieces Fitting Perfectly

Another year older...And what did I do yesterday?

Absolutely nothing and I absolutely loved every minute. He fed the dogs, took them out, brought me food, etc. We stayed in our PJs all morning/afternoon watching college football.

I guess this is what I adore about US. We are always on the same page about so many things. It was an ideal day for both of us.

Sometime in the course of the day between cracking jokes and yelling at the TV. He looks at me and says: "Thank goodness you are not normal, otherwise that would be so boring. You are like a 7 layer fruit cake"

Friday night, some other couples came over for Rock Band, pizza, drinks, and cake, my favorite. I find it amazing that some of these women I have known for less than 2 months all came bearing gifts. It was really touching.

Tonight will consist of rollerblading with the dogs and catching up on One Tree Hill Season Five. Yeah :)

Puppies

So I will admit, I have been chuckling along about the different items D.A.R.'s dog ate this week.

Unfortunately, I think my dog trumps your dog :)

I went into my bedroom last night to find my puppies sleeping peacefully. I reached for my birth control and noticed it was missing. I immediately yelled at Dave in the kitchen to help me find it.

Sure enough, nothing put plastic left underneath the bed. Daisy somehow managed to eat 3 weeks of pills.

And Dave's sense of humor always shines through:

(as Daisy is passed out on her back with her feet in the air)

Me: Do you think she will be ok?
D: Are you kidding? She is ready to work the neighborhood now. Look at her slutting it out already.
Me: David! I should probably call the vet.
D: Yeah, she is going to think you are one of those people (commenting on 2 visits already this week)

They really drive me insane somedays.

Domestic Diaster.

Now that David is in AA school, we are finally on a somewhat normal schedule, meaning he leaves in the morning and gets home in the evening. Unlike the days where he left at 2pm and would get home at 4am.

That being said, I am finally able to cook dinner.

Last night, I made English Muffin Pizzas. My mom use to make them when we were younger. David absolutely loved them. And they were so easy.

1 pack of english muffins
1 can of tomato sauce
1 package of pepporoni
1 package of mozz. cheese

And 10 minutes in the oven at 350 degrees. Way too easy. David reheated them in the microwave today and they still tasted delcious.

Tonight was on to his favorite, pulled pork. There is something about the crock pot that I love. Throw it in there, 4-8 hours later, done.

I felt successful this week in the kitchen until my once a week brownies I made tonight. I love the Pillsbury brownie mix. They are less than a $1 at Wal-Mart and I love mixing up chocolate chips, Heath bars, snickers bars, and peanut butter chips to change the pace.

Well I laid out all the ingredients and began mixing. The batter was so thick. Again, I make them at least once a week.

I FORGOT THE WATER!

It was in a dark measuring cup, so I thought I had already poured it. Luckily I caught this before placing them in the oven.

I messed up on the 3 ingredient brownies. Geesh!

College Days

I know everyone misses college at some point in their lives. I never thought I would miss it the way I do now. I was never the party girl. Actually, I went out to the bars 5 times in 4 years.

I think I miss the opportunities and the resources.

I loved my experiences at the radio station, in student government, and as a resident assistant.

We, as a whole, were constantly trying to help other people including soldier drives, food drives, raking leaves for the elderly, blood drives, etc.

I miss that part of me. The one who use to get out and help as much as possible. Who was so busy, I would eventually get to my school work at 12am.

That being said...

I'm really trying to jump start a Yoplait Lid Drive.

Everyone knows someone who has or had breast cancer. I find it so amazing how people are affected not only by breast cancer, but by cancer in general.

It's a pretty cool website:

http://www.yoplait.com/slsl/

And luckily David and I love this kind of yogurt, so it's a win-win situation.

Randomness

For the past 30 days, not a day has gone by where I look at him and think to myself, how in the hell am I going to survive without him.

Today as we were eating the bottom crumbs of tortilla chips, I was bragging about the size of my chip. So what did he do? He broke it and began laughing.



His parents arrived late Friday night. They actually stayed in our guest room, which is very unlike them. They really liked the inside of our house, which made me happy.

On Friday, I noticed blood on Dakota's paw. An infected dewclaw. His dad and I were both up early on Saturday morning and decided to take her to the vet. $3oo later, she was running around in the backyard trying to eat Daisy.

We did a ton of yardwork this weekend. I can't wait for spring where I can actually start working on the landscaping out front.

I just looked down at my white/black husky and noticed her white is now a dirt-brown from playing outside all weekend long. I guess this is my cue to give her a bath.

Big Picture

...and the toliet broke. Not to mention no groceries in our entire house.

I called my mom. She seemed down. I asked her if she was ok. Her two best friends in the entire world, Sharon and Lynne.

Sharon's mom passed away 6 days ago and they found out yesterday that her husband's tumor is cancerous.

Lynne's mom was brutally shot and killed 17 years ago. They released her killer on parole on Monday.

I'll take a sore back and leaky puppy anyday.



Sidenote: As a result of no groceries. I ate frozen cheesecake for breakfast.

Insanity

The house is a mess since we have been away for the past 10 days.

Daisy now has a urinary tract infection similiar to the one Dakota has.

I fell down the stairs this morning.

His parents arrive tomorrow.

Bi-Partisan?

I don't know why I even turn this TV show on sometimes...it's almost like I want to catch a glimpse of its ulitmate downfall.

The View.

And oh my goodness, Elizabeth Hassleback might be the most annoying human being on the face of the earth. I don't care if she is obviously very conservative, big deal, but she gets do darn defensive and it just makes her look bad.

But maybe the show not only wants this, but encourages it.

:End Rant:

The ghost of our past

Can you get to your future if your past is still present?

-Carrie Bradshaw

Everyone has a ghosts from their past that haunts them, right?

Typically, the beauty of being in a relationship for 8+ years is lack of baggage (i.e. ex-girlfriends, secrets, unfamiliar friends). The not so "beauty" for us is our little hiatus for 3 months which included a so called "ex" for each of us.

He has training down at Rucker for 12 days and lucky for me, I am able to be with him during this time. However, "her" presence haunts me down here. I have not seen her, but it tears at me just a little as I drive around this town. I hate that part of his life because I feel we let each other down as a couple and were not our true selves. I hate his memories without me here, only 3 months, cover up nearly 21 months of our memories together at his old house. Does this sound absurd?

I should not and will not be intimidated by her. I am better than that I know, actually we are better than that. I am not saying I am better than her, we fit together more perfectly. We are planning a future together and I have never been happier.

That being said, since I arrived here, I have been having the most vivid, crazy dreams about my "ex". I wake up totally freaked out and then smile as I wake up and see him peacefully sleeping next to me.

I feel the lack of closure in both of our previous relationships contributes to these ghosts. Getting back together was so all of a sudden that both of us failed to really end our other relationships. I also use the term "relationship" loosely.

Maybe it is a blessing I am down here, I feel I am confronting this head on. Maybe baggage will actually make us stronger. I hope writing it all down will help too.

Reality Check

My best friend from grade school called me this morning. She is getting married in April.

While we chatted away, Dave's deployment came up in conversation. I looked at my calendar and realized we're about 2 months out.

Time moves so fast sometimes.

It's the small things.

I find it amusing sometimes, how much the small things really bring a smile to my face. Whenever I am in bad mood, it seems these things cure all.

Here is my 10 ten list of things that bring me instant happiness.

1. Food- You should see my face light up with either chips or salsa or anything chocolate related.
2. Bubble Baths- It is like instant relaxation
3. Candles- I think I appreciate them on another whole level after becoming a homeowner. I refuse to be those people who have that "dog smell" and do not even notice
4. Pajamas- The best feeling in the entire world is slipping into a big t-shirt and pj bottoms after a long day.
5. My car- I bought a brand new car in August, a 2009 Toyota Camry, and whenever I drive it, I feel happy and in control
6. My dogs- Ok, this is a given. I love how Dakota curls up as the "little spoon" with me and when Daisy falls asleep on her back with her legs straight up in the air. Or when Daisy shoots me a look of "I need help".
7. College Football Saturdays- I don't know if it has to do with fall or change, but there is something different in the air on those mornings with Herbie, Lee, and the rest of the gang.
8. A good workout- I may be crazy, but I love that exhausted, I can't move my body feeling after a kick butt workout.
9. My mom, dad, brother, and sister- I love when my brother plays football or how my dad talks sports with me or how my mom is my best friend or how my sister is always there for me. Even more so, when we are all sitting around togther just talking about life.
10. My best friend- Oh there is just something about him. I love the random text messages I get throughout the day and they always seem to come when I'm in a bad mood and it puts such a huge smile on my face.


What is your Top Ten?

College Football

I had a relatively quiet weekend. We headed up to Penn State (his Dad's alma mater) for the PSU-Illinois game. And since Daisy is struggling with the whole potty training thing, I refused to leave her with anyone, so I seperated the dogs. Now they're back together and louder than ever.

Katie's (his sister) boyfriend, who coaches at Illinois, scored us seats at the 25 yard line, 5 rows back. PSU seriously has the best fans in the country.

I do have a few vents about the Top 25:

• How is USC still in the top 10? They lost to an unranked team while poor Georgia played a much better Alabama team and dropped to 12.
• Wake Forest at 25. They lost to Navy!!
• Illinois dropped out of the top 25, even though they lost to a tough team, who at the time were the #12 team in the country and now ranked #6.
• Oregon is in the top 25? I wish people would understand that the PAC-10 might be the most overrated conference in college football.
• BYU, or any team in the Mountain West, should not be in the top 10.

Walking the campus of PSU made me kind of miss college and the fact I did not go to a big school. I absolutely do not regret my small, private liberal arts school outside Chicago, but I just wonder what could have been.

Our weekends away only reinforce my feelings for him. I love the way I feel when I am with him. I love that I am a complete idiot sometimes and say the most off the wall things and he just smiles at me.

We're heading to Rucker for 10 days tomorrow for some training. It's going to be an interesting week to say the least.

5 Weeks Later

5 Weeks Old

10 Weeks Old

Alright, what did you do with my puppy?

Sick as dogs

Since Monday I have been fighting off a stomach virus. I wish it upon nobody. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 straight days. Orginially I thought it may be food poisioning. However, my poor baby came home today with the exact same symptoms.

He is tough, but this seems to be kicking his butt right now.

As a result of my sickness, I am behind on housework. I started cleaning tonight since my mom arrives tomorrow evening. While I am cleaning I hear poor Daisy throwing up on our master bedroom carpet (I swear I need hardwood floors).

After I finish cleaning her, I lay down beside her to rub her stomach and I swear my baby puppy gained about 5lbs and 5 inches right in front of me. I am amazed at how fast she is growing.

I pick her up more frequently as of late because I am sure going to miss this.

While I was gone.

Life has been crazy, yet wonderfully blissful.

• My sister is married! The wedding went beautiful. If you're curious about the photos. Click on purchase photos then scroll to "Lindsay and Brett Navarro"


• On the job front, I promised myself I was going to actually try to look after the wedding. However, the whole time is precious keeps replaying over and over in my head. I'm basically getting paid to do nothing. I am studying as we speak for my personal trainer's license, so wish me luck.
  
• Everyone here has been wonderful. My FRG leader is awesome. I had lunch with my realtor, mortage lady, and their friends today. These women are so much fun. Not to mention everyone loves to get out and do something. Last weekend we had football, beach volleyball, racquetball, dog walks/parks. Its a lifestyle I absolutely love.


• Daisy and Dakota have been my sanity as well as the main reason I go insane from day to day. Daisy has learned how to climb over the babygate (smart puppy) so I always feel I have to be on my toes around her. Her puppy class starts on Saturday. Thank goodness!


• He and I couldn't be happier. Things are going really well and he's been so sweet. I love that we are exact same person. For instance, we just started a 750 piece puzzle together.
  

It's weird. Even though I'm not working, I swear I'm just as busy with so many different things. My mom comes to visit this weekend! Yeah! I can't wait to start decorating and turn this place into a home. She's pretty much amazing when it comes to this stuff.

My sister and I

Powder Puff Football

My FRG leader and the winning QB/center combination in Powder Puff

Munster, Indiana

My hometown has been in the news consistently over the past couple of days. The Midwest was hit extremely hard with flooding caused by heavy rain, thanks to Hurricane Gustav.

Tonight I just found out 3 houses exploded about 1.5 miles from my house and about 50% of the town is still under water. The National Guard was also sent in to rescue families by boat.

You know the expression, hitting close to home, it's too fitting right now.

Luckily both my family and Dave's family are both ok and received minimal damage.

Article

Wonderful Weekend

I've always loved the long holiday weekends because it meant either I was going to be visiting him or he was going to be visiting me.

Although we had no major plans, I really had a nice weekend.

We kicked it off on Thursday at my very first Hail and Farewell. They held it at actually one of my favorite restaurants/bars downtown. I could hardly hear anyone speak, except when they started poking fun at him (8 years and no ring?!).

Friday we ran a whole bunch of errands that included purchasing a TV and Rock Band. It sounds so pathetic, but we've been spending more time on the other side of the house now. That night we went to a party with a CPT in his company, Matt, whom I absolutely adore.

Saturday morning was beach volleyball for like 3 straight hours. We played with another couple who is just as competitive as us, if possible (Ollie & Abby), Matt, and his company commander. That night we all went to Jazz on the Lawn, which is apparently a big deal here. Its held at the winery, yeah wine :)

Sunday we had Matt, Abby, and Ollie all over for a BBQ and swimming. We played a F.R.I.E.N.D.S trivia came then ended up playing rock band for 6 straight hours. I have a huge blister on my right hand from gripping the drum sticks too hard, ha.

Yesterday we just laid around all day and then headed over to his company commander's house for a bbq. His kids and wife were amazing. It's so nice to be meeting people.

And apparently I'm playing Powder Puff football with all the wives in his company this month.

I find more comfort in living here by myself the more people I meet.

Time to go break up the dogs wrestling match occuring at my feet right now.

How Did I Get Here?

I find it amusing how a little less than 2 months ago, the only thing I really needed to take care of was numero uno. I worked 100 hours a week and hung out with friends as much as possible. My mom, the laundry nazi, would have all of my clothes folded on my bed within 12 hours of hitting the hamper. I could get by cleaning my room every other week because I was hardly ever at home.

Today, as I had to make a stop to Vikki's Pool due to our cloudy pool water, making dinner, scrubbing the kitchen floor (puppies still love to dig in the mud), 2 loads of laundry, and vacuuming, I am wondering how in the heck did I get here?

I wouldn't change it for the world. My love is an absolute sweetheart. He didn't get home until 1:30am, but is constantly showing his appreciation and love towards me.

It draws me back on my confirmation class. I went to a private school for 8 years and approximately 11 years ago, my pastor told us there are 3 ways God answers prayers.

1) Yes!
2) Yes, but later
3) Yes, but something better

I still carry that lesson with me, especially during these days when I wonder why in the heck hasn't my future employer called.

Instead of concentrating on how bad I want a job, I should really see that the glass is half full and enjoy this once in a blue moon free time.

Stupid Cold

When the boys in his company came back from JRTC, they all came back with some kind of head cold/flu which they passed onto him and in turn, he so kindly passed onto me.



Besides a few errands to Home Depot, Petsmart, and Target, I've been in bed all day, but of course with company.






Daisy has been relatively good yesterday and today. And by relatively good, I am excluding the fact that I woke up at 6am this morning to her literally sitting and splashing in her water dish.


Last night, a fellow LT threw a surprise party for his wife and had a little get together. I had so much fun and seriously met some of the nicest, most down to earth people. I met two women who have kids and are serving in the Army. I admire them so much. Not to mention, these women I met were drop dead gorgeous.


There were 8 of us who stayed until midnight. We played boys vs. girls Pictionary. It's been awhile since I've had that much fun.


Time for he and I to go walk the puppies!

Hormones

Today has been a bad day. And I know when I look at this post in a few days, I will simply laugh at myself. Not to mention my 3 favorite letters...P....M...S

Potty training has been so frustrating. She's a baby, I know, but when you're already having a bad day and you seriously turn your head 2 times for less than 1 minute and in those 2 times, she somehow manages to pee on our bedroom carpet.

He has been gone a lot lately so last night I was flustered as I was cleaning the carpet, he's made a comment to me that its not that big of a deal. This coming from a guy who has yet to clean up after her once in the short week that we have had her.


And due to the dogs and the excessive walking, I am always wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Since it was Friday and we are going out to dinner, I decided to take a nice relaxing bath. Shortly afterwards, I let the dogs out, normally I go with them to watch the Daisy, but I figured they would be fine.

Not at all.

Daisy and Dakota decided to go underneath the deck and start digging in the wet sand/dirt which is the same as mud. When they came running up the stairs, they were just covered. I cleaned off Dakota first on the deck and by the time it was Daisy's turn, she had scurried her little butt back under the deck to just lay in the hole the two had dug.

She didn't want to come out.

So I did what any normal, freshly showered woman would do.

I crawled through the mud to grab her.

When he just called, I did everything in my power to sound like I wasn't crying. I doubt he bought it.

Tomorrow is another day.

Michael Vick's House of Pain

When my mom calls, she hears the dogs playing in the background and always ask, "What is that?!". I reply with, "This is apparently Michael Vick's House of Pain".

I think I took for granted how mellow Dakota was as a puppy. Daisy is a pistol. She's a mere 8lbs and holds her own in this house. She gets into everything and always wants to play between 2am-5am in the morning.

Dakota slept with Dave as a puppy. We tried it with Daisy for 4 nights and it looks like she will be going into the crate.

I do love how ideal our house is for the dogs. We have the master bedroom right off our extremely long kitchen. I bought 2 baby gates and limit the devil children to 2 rooms.

I'm sitting here waiting for the dish network people to show up. I love the, "sometime between 12pm-5pm". I need to walk these 2 dogs before they drive me crazy.

Our house is coming around slowly but surely. The key items we still need are a washer/dryer (not fun to be without) and a television (I'm learning to survive).

Off to be somewhat productive.

Yes, I Know We're Crazy

This morning I begged him to go to Wal-Mart to buy me some pool tools while I walked Dakota.

Instead of pool toys, he came home with her. The 3rd love of my life.

Meet Daisy. A 5 week old Siberian Husky. I've always wanted a husky.

Just what I need right? With a brand new house and an already rowdy 10 month old rotweiller.

Either way, He and I are in love with her and our girls.

Chaos

And here it goes...

I despise living between 2 places. We just closed this morning (yeah!) and we are no where close to being moved into the other house.

Right after closing, he had to go to work so I loaded a moving truck and unloaded it all by myself. Meanwhile, I thought Dakota would love to run around in our new backyard. She runs back in the house and somehow managed to roll around in dog poop. Lovely.

I am not going to lie, there was a point I was going to break down. I called my mom. She knows me too well and bought me everything for the guest bathroom, so I was able to set everything up in there. I am the queen of finding things a home. And there is just so much stuff. Not to mention, I was very tempted to "accidentally" break/drop some of his things. Is that bad?

I am absolutely tired. There are a ton of things I need at Wal-Mart and I should make dinner, but I am beat. I can't wait to have everything in one place and everything settled.

Home

We close on Monday and this whole thing will soon become a reality.

Last night we had pizza downtown and went on our weekly walk down on the beautiful river walk. I've been down here for 4 weeks. We promised ourselves we would swing by the river at least once a week and so far we've kept our promise.

It was an absolutely beautiful night. We found our swing overlooking the river and I took my usual position of placing my head on his lap. We talked for close to an hour just like the previous 3 outings.

As we walked back to the car, I realized this is love.

I probably should be stressed about a million and one things, but for now, I'm just going to enjoy where I am at in this crazy life.

This is my happiness.

"I tell him often that I love him, but never in an automatic, rote way. Rather, I really think about the words, what they mean. Love as a verb. Love as a committment"
-Love the One You're With (Emily Griffin)

I am truly so happy and so me whenever he is in my prescence. It's a feeling I really can't explain. It's a comfort, a security blanket, an instant smile, and just a peace of mind.

We went to the home inspection today and we are actually going to close early! Well hopefully. On the way home from dinner, he turns to me and goes we have a house, a couple cars, a dog, a pool, a deck. We have everything.

Well almost everything. I will still feel 100% better if I had a job that I kind of, sort of liked. I have 2 interviews tomorrow. I called the university and they haven't started the process yet. I guess that is a good thing.

They want someone young (check), a management degree (check) and at least 1 year of managment/marketing experience (check).

You know the expression, it's only after you lost everything that you are now free to do anything. People put such a positive spin on it. What if you don't know what you really want to do? I love that my majors can provide me with endless options, but at the same time, too many options is never a good thing.

I know God has a plan. And I love that my plan involves David. I know no matter what happens, at least I will always have a source of happiness.

Doubting Thomas.

It started last week after he and I accepted an offer on the house. It's a beautiful home. I was thrilled. I took a giant leap of faith by quitting my job and moving to TN.

I called my best friend from college, Wayne, who has always supported me in pretty much every decision I have ever made. He just sat there in silence. He asked me what had happened with Jon. I told him, he would never be Dave. He never said, I'm happy for you. He simply said, "Well you either crazy now or you were crazy for the past 4 months".

And now I find myself in this TERRIBLE "in between phase" where my friends, through him, still don't trust me, my closest friends are sitting back, going, we'll see what happens next.

I've honestly never been happier, but have never, ever felt more alone. I'm back home, trying to get everything settled (dentist appointments, car insurance, etc.). It doesn't help he's in TN working and it's just Dakota and I. I have given him such attitude the past couple of days.

This is the longest I have not worked since I was 13 years old. I hate it. I think that is the thing I always loved about me was I had "purpose" which was either my college career or my job. Now I have neither.

I submitted 2 applications online on monster.com to work in Nashville on Sunday and they called me Monday morning. I have interviews at both places next week.

I also applied for a job at the local University. It's 15 minutes from our house and I would be working in their athletic department. Based on what they are looking for, I do feel I am perfect for the job and am desperately waiting to hear back from them.

How can I hate and love where I am at, at the same time?

It's amazing how I feel I can take a deep exhale after I let it all out....

Full Circle?

I started a blog exactly 4 years ago when I started college. I just needed to vent even if I knew nobody would respond. I switched to Live Journal and now I find myself back here again...

This is ironic in more ways than one.