Week Seven

Oh this morning...not one of my better mornings.

I woke up deciding I wanted a few things:

-Longer hair
-A tan
-More episodes of Criminal Minds
-Summer
-My best friend and better half laying next to me
-Be more girly (actually paint my nails, own make-up, curl my hair more)
-My running partner from Chicago to move here and start training with me

Since I do not have ANY of the above, I manged to pout a little and open up the infamous Ben & Jerry's pint of ice cream. I took 2 bites, sealed it up, put it back in the refridgerator, and realized ice cream could not solve all of my "issues" (gasp)

::Enter Super Jeni::

I will refer to her by this name from here on out in my blog. She called mid-pouting and asked me to join her for lunch and a day of shopping. Needless to say, I am back on the content train.

And yes, we are another week down!

In my seventh week, I manged to accomplish a few things:

-Registered for a different Nashville Half-Marathon in March (not April)
-Completed my highest distance weekly total, including a 6-miler tonight
-Cooked a delicious chicken receipe for our weekly potluck
-Found a job
-Sent his best friend a birthday care package
-Tried a new church this past Sunday
-Started a book by my favorite author, Malcolm Gladwell

So this week, I will hustle to try and complete a few more of my monthly goals before I knock off another stupid month of this stupid deployment.

I swear I am still positive :)

No longer babies...

Due to recent photos, I am beginning to think I no longer own puppies.



November 2007

Now

August 2008

Now

Girlfriends

Today I thought a lot about priorities and I guess in the same sense, blessings.

I talked to my best friend, Karen, for over an hour today. We attended the same high school and experienced it all together. And now, her first child is due in two short weeks.

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, we talked a little about some of our "girlfriends" in high school who all attended the same college and now all live together in the same city and party, party, party four nights a week. And while we both agreed we admire their "fun", we would not change places with them for all the money in the world, and heck, my better half currently lives in another country.

I love my life.

Tonight while hanging out at my dining room table and drinking chai tea, I smiled and enjoyed the conversations between myself and four other women, including CLR :)

And after all these years of having one or two girlfriends, I finally hang out with a group of women. Women who I adore, admire, and respect. I never had girlfriend because I never wanted to be a girlfriend. You get what you put in and I put in very little in high school and college.

Now I want to make an effort, not because I am stranded here on deployment island, but mostly because these women see the "big" picture in life. And even though we are so different, we all have one very important thing in common...strength.

Down South

I am proud to say I experienced my first "Southerner" moment today.

Around 6:30am, I did my normal routine of letting Daisy outside. I looked outside and noticed ice and a steady rain. And then I decide, the weather is just too bad to go anywhere or do anything today.

I lived in Chicago for 18 years and braved several feet of snow, blizzards, below zero temperatures, and wind chills that make you cry and I thought 30 degrees deserved a snow day.

Oh Not Me...

I not only think this idea is super cute, but I felt this was a pretty ideal way to sum up my day and weekend. Thank you Mrs. Staff Sergeant :)

• I did not eat a cupcake for breakfast the past three mornings

• I did not skip the gym tonight because I thought 25 degrees was too cold to do anything or that I wanted to watch Rock of Love with Bret Michaels instead of run

• I did not almost get my water turned off this week. Of course I handle electricity and HE handles the water bill

• I did not have thoughts of leaving in the middle of my kickboxing class, runny nose, soar throat, pounding headache and all

• I did not watch Daisy clear our $80, four feet tall, dog gate in order to say hi to Jeni

• I did not watch an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for the 1,000th time and laugh hysterically

• I did not buy him a Captain America bobblehead for his helicopter or a bag of only green M&Ms for a few smiles

• I did not have a glass of wine every night for the past 4 nights

• I did not accept a job offer!

What did you NOT do this weekend? Join in at My Charming Kids.

One more thing...

Keeping up with my deployment goals, I sent my second care package on 20 January. I wanted to share what I sent. I feel it is only fair since I love reading what Kristen at Steady As We Go sends her husband. And I often steal her ideas :)

I created a "Thing I know you miss back at home" and it contained the following:

muddy paws - The girls always bring mud inside the house so I stamped the inside of the box with their paw prints

stuffed husky & rotweiller - Obviously he misses the girls


People magazine- I love this magazine and although he thinks I waste money, I always catch him reading it or looking at the pictures

The Book of Us- We already filled this one out a few years back, but I thought it would be cute for him to go back and read the answers

Slingbox software- It works here, I just hope it will work over there so he can watch his favorite shows.

Mixed CD- I filled the CD with Rockband songs and songs from our favorite shows. I know he misses playing Rockband. And oh yeah, a few that I use to belt out singing in the shower while getting ready together.

Cookies- I am slowly learning to cook, but he already loves my baking

Oceanspray Crasins- To remind him of our grocery shopping trips. These were always on the list.

USAA Debit Card- It finally came in the mail, so I attached a note saying, "I know you miss spending money on me" Ha.

Marley & Me- He says he misses the craziness of the dogs, this book suited our craziness perfectly

Penn State Shirt- He HATES when I steal his clothes and wear them, so I wore his favorite shirt each time I stepped out of the shower for 3 weeks. I sealed it in a ziplock bag to hopefully keep my scent and let him know that I am still stealing his clothes.


Last time he received his package in 6 days during the Christmas holidays, I am anxious for him to receive this one. He and the guys say receiving packages definitely lift their spirts, so I love putting them together for him.

Week Six

And my gift for surviving six weeks of deployment...a nasty cold, soar throat and overall lethargic mood. Luckily my cousin stopped by to visit with me this weekend since she worked only an hour from my house this entire week, otherwise I would still be in bed. She took me to my favorite restaurant, bought my favorite bottle of wine, and brought goodies for Dakota and Daisy.

This week I did a few more productive things. I hosted my first game night on Thursday and started/arranged a weekly pot luck dinner with a few of my girlfriends whose husbands left around the same time. This will hopefully encourage cooking and discourage chips and salsa.

And in other accomplishments, I have yet to miss a kickboxing class in the last month, still feel sore after every class, and get this, I managed to develop a firm, rounder, rear end. Thanks to my mother's genes, the dairy air simply does not exist with the girls in our family, but it does now for me.

Running out of room

I know the girls miss their "daddy", however, they definitely enjoy the extra room.



Only problem, where am I going to sleep?

A very personal entry.

I do not think I opened up this much before in my blog, but I never, ever want to forget this moment...

After months, no probably years of begging him to start a blog, to write all of his emotions down and reap the benefits I do of expressing all of yourself, he sent me his first entry.

He, like no one else can, put tears in my eyes, tears of happiness.

He is such a beautiful writer, not for the things he writes about me, which I will share, but the way he describes things and truly speaks from the heart. He wrote a long entry, but I picked out bits and pieces to share here.

From the beginning.

I am not exactly sure how to begin. Someone very close to me finds refuge in her words online and the support of a community that I don't really understand but probably should. So therefore I promised her that I would write down some of my thoughts and experiences while I left everything I know and love to go somewhere far away from home and far away from anything I could ever imagine.

So I did the academy thing. Made some great friends, have a ton of memories but that is entirely a whole other topic by itself. So I go back to my decision in high school.

There is someone very important i forgot to mention. MY FIRST, MIDDLE, LAST NAME. Who believe it or not is the basis for many of the decisions in my life. She is beautiful. She is smart. She is emotional. She loves sports and looks great naked so for any man not to be in love with her would be a crime. And as much as tough, bad ass, high school me would like to deny it I was in deep. I don't know why but I was and still am today. But I think I'm doing alright. So anyways she put more thought into my future than I did. I would call it more our future. I didn't think much about my future let alone our future but I did know that she was special and I did know that I was going to do all that I could to make myself happy and not lose her. This was a tough decision but I told her I was going to wp. I don't think either of us knew what it meant or that it would be the decision that kept us together.

So we were part of the two percent and I graduated WP. Like I said before tons of memories, nothing but good times, and countless friendships that would re manifest themselves in the most trying of times. So here is the basis for my story. A few years back I made a decision that would change my life forever. And now I will try to tell the rest of the story.

I arrived at FC about early July with a girl that I was not happy with. I was getting ready to go to war and had so much bitterness and anger towards her. She knew it, I knew it, and I was tempted to say fuck it and just leave it all behind. But, after months of "living the dream" on my own, which was not bad at all, I realized that there was only one thing in this world that made my happy. And no matter how much anger or resentment I had towards her, it could never defeat the love and memories and connection that we have. The reason this is important is because that day I regained my clarity, my good luck charm, my best friend, and my smokin hot girlfriend.

So I let my anger go and focused on the future for us and for me.

Now for the Afghanistan part.

Nothing can prepare you for that day. No matter how many times you pack your stuff you always think you are missing something. You always wonder if you are prepared, are you ready, do you know what to expect. The funny thing about it is you know exactly what to expect but you push it to the back of your head. You prepare for the worst and at the same time hope for the best. You take everything you know and love, everything that makes your life worth living and put it on hold. You say goodbye to everything you know and love, pet your dog one more time, and go to war. Why do you do it, I don't think anyone knows. It sounds great to say you do it for your country, or that you do it for 9/11, but the reality is you just do it. Less than a tenth of a percent of Americans will ever deploy to a combat zone. They will never feel what it is like to say goodbye to something to know that they may never return. Or that next Sunday they wont be able to have a beer and watch the football game. I am not saying this is something they miss out on, but it is something you cannot replicate. I cannot describe the feeling of having your entire family at your house and then driving with you to drop you off. Its almost a sick feeling, you think of everything you are going to miss. All at once you ask yourself what the hell am I doing, why am I doing this. There is no answer but you go, draw your weapon, take your pictures, hug your your family and tell them goodbye, and get on the bus.

I havent talked to Brandon in years and unfortunatly was able to talk to him the other day when a helicopter we were escorting made a "hard landing" and burned to the ground within seconds. What do you say to a guy that you knew for years and stood next to in the huddle while you circle overhead and watch him pickup the pieces of a burnt helciopter hoping that their patrol doesnt get ambushed. In 45 hours I have come to realize a few things. My generation is fighting the so called war on terror. The wp class of 2006 is bait for terrorists. They live on mountain sides trying to fight for a people that they have no interest in. Handcuffed by ROE and an enemy that has no rules. We fight the best that we can and sometimes we lose but we come back everyday bring the fight so that we draw them to us. So that is all I have for now, more to follow, keep doing good things for the country and I send all my love back home for friends, family, corkyshell, dak, and daisy.



He really helpd me gain an idea of what he goes through over there besides the "good day" or "bad day" conversations we carry on weekly. God bless him, he is definitely my hero.

Avoid

Today it finally clicked in my head, I am right smack in the middle of a deployment. I heard a few times, "You seem to be handling yourself very well".

My secret: AVOIDANCE

I avoid letting my feelings get away from me. I avoid the concept of going through another winter, spring, summer, and fall before I even get remotely close to him coming home. I avoid day dreams of curling up next to him and watching our favorite television shows together.

One day at a time...However, I cannot and will not avoid how unbelievably lucky I am. And all this time away will be worth it when I get to see him again.

On a different topic, I attempted to read three different books in the past week and threw them all back onto the shelves. I really love reading. I enjoy how it takes me away from reality. I read a lot while visiting different people with him during block leave. Everyone continued to ask the same questions, so I would hide away in a book and felt so much better about everything.

Week Five & Thanksgiving

I know this might sound a bit absurd, but this past week I looked back and said to myself, "Where did the time go?".

By far my most unproductive week, but full of events, both good and bad.

• Phone interview on Thursday along with job offer
• Decorated over 40 Valentines Day cards for his company with Jeni, Holly, and kids.
• Daisy made a full recovery and if at all possible has more energy than ever
• Wonderful visit with my parents
• Set my mother up on Facebook, ha!

And lastly, yesterday I received my first and hopefully last message composed of:

Today was a bad day. I am OK. Everyone in my company is OK. I cannot tell you right now what happened, but if anyone calls, you can tell them I am OK. I love you.

A helicopter crash hit a little too close to home yesterday.

Last night my mom made a wonderful dinner of turkey, stuffing, and potatoes. As we ate, I smiled and mentioned how funny us eating a typical Thanksgiving dinner on a day where I am so incredibly thankful for his and his company's safety.

Cleaning Adventures

My parents arrive tonight and my mom is way too excited, which makes me excited.

I clean everyday. It is inevitable with two dogs, but when parents/company come over, I do a lot more cleaning than normal.

A few things I noticed:

- I absolutely hate cleaning the bathroom, actually I loathe cleaning the bathrooms. I love cleaning, its a sense of accomplishment, but I usually make him clean the bathrooms. If I ever make enough money, I am hiring someone just to come over and clean the them.

-I need the Dog Whisperer to come to my house and explain to Dakota, my very protective dog, that the vacuum is not a monster, it is not attacking me, therefore STOP TRYING TO BITE MY DYSON!

-I still have my Christmas tree up and really have no problem with it.

-Received a "STOP MESSING WITH MY DESK AND TRUNK!!" message from him this morning after I informed him in a email that I cleaned out the bonus room. Whoops! Actually those were not his exact words, I try and keep this blog PG-13.

Nothing we can do about it now. I told him this is the woman he chose to be with and he laughed.

Declutter

Oh, this word comes up in many coversations as of late. Several of my friends began "decluttering" their house either to sell it, prepare for another baby, or simply to follow through on one of their deployment goals.

There is a possiblity I might work from home so I invaded the bonus room, otherwise known as his AO (area of operation) or the only room in the house where I allow anything ACU/BDU. Before he left, I managed to take over a corner and since my honey will not return until the end of this year, I am now in the process of taking over the entire room.

Poor guy.

Today I started with the evil WP trunk. Some of you may know what I am talking about. You know the coffee table, TV stand, garbage disposal, and crap holder all rolled into one clunky, gold and green piece of furniture.

I did not get very far. In it I found letters and cards from me. He kept over 60 cards/letters over the years and of course I read through each and every one of them.

Somedays I simply do not comprehend or realize how much the two of us went through in order to get to where we are today. How do two very immature 15 and 16 year olds turn into a 24 and 25 year, surviving deployment while planning to start a future and family together? Days like today make me smile. I love our history, both the good and the bad.

Most days I skip the obvious in this blog...I am so lucky to be in love with my best friend.

Poo Poo Pants

This is his infamous nickname for me. It all started a few years back and whenever I appeared on the verge of crabbiness, he would pull me into his chest and go "Poo-poo Pants". I would immediately giggle and all of a sudden feel better.

It has shortened over the years to "Poo-poo". If anyone is around when he yells for me, they kind of look at us funny. Yes, a strange nickname I know.

And today, I am sure I would hear "Poo-poo" out of his mouth.

You see, as the days go on, I continue to grow more and more frustrated with job hunting. My problem? I want to do everything, but do not know specifically, same as my senior year in college. Thank goodness my former boss emailed me out of the blue in January of my senior year to offer me a position. I never sent out a single resume until now.

And apparently since I do not have a Masters Degree, I am not qualified for 80% of the jobs that are of interest to me. I want to stay on my career path of anything related to sports or college support staff. We will see what the future holds for me.

I shared my frustrations with Jeni on the phone. After a few interviews and resume drop-offs, I headed over to her house and my wonderful friend pulled a delicious piece of chocolate cake and glass of milk out of the refrigerator for the two of us. Just what I needed.

God bless my friends.

Great Attitude Award!

I feel honored to receive this wonderful and cute award from The Rambling Diva



Now to nominate someone whose blog shows great attitude/gratitude:

Oh this was easy...

D.A.R. at First comes love, then comes marriage.

Mostly because I feel privileged to be considered her friend and second of all, she should write a book on Murphy's Law in deployments and how to handle it gracefully.

Daisy Mae

Oh yet another post about her dogs.

>insert weird dog lady comment here<

Today, for the first time in over a month, I experienced a "I need him here" moment. I walked into the vet's office this morning, bright and early, to drop Daisy off to get spayed.

The tech went through all of my options including an additional $60 for laser surgery. I remember hearing someone, for the life of me I cannot think who, rant and rave about it. I stared at the paper some more and thought this decision would be so much easier with him here.

I called my mother and with great confidence checked the box "yes" next to laser surgery and knew I would get less swelling, blood, and pain.

At 4pm, I literally skipped into the office and could hardly wait to see her again. The tech sat me down and tried to talk to me, but I just wanted to see Daisy. Then she said, "Bless her heart, you need to go back there and get her. Every time someone goes back there to try and check on her she either pees or poops herself. We think she is either scared or stressed." Holding back tears, I said OK.

I walked through the back and finally arrived at her crate and saw an image I would soon like to erase from my head for forever.

Daisy...sitting straight up against the back wall, hair standing straight up on her neck, and violently shaking.

I thought she recognized me as she took one step forward. I began to lean towards her. Suddenly, she shot to the back of the cage and started growling and shaking at me. At me?!?

So I did what any normal, composed woman would do...I started crying.

I walked away for about 20 seconds, wiped my tears, walked to her cage, and in my sweetest voice ever called for her. She slowly started towards me and smelled my hand. After recognizing my smell, she began nervously and excitedly licking my face and jumping all over me. A huge sign of relief came over me.

Physically- OK Mentally- Not so much

Thank goodness I checked laser surgery. I can only imagine if she experienced regular surgery.

And 5 hours later, she is now fast asleep on top my feet. Still slow to move around, but snuggled up to me pretty much all night as I watched The Bachelor and One Tree Hill.

Doggie Adventures

In case some of you could not tell from my blog, I can do crazy things at times.

Our conversation went something like this a few days ago:

Me: I think I want babies
Him: You know what that means!
Me: No, what?
Him: We are getting you another puppy
Me: You know me too well

Both Dakota and Daisy are products of me catching the baby fever for a week or so.

And what do you know? Today I almost brought home puppy number 3. Yes, you heard me right.

Jeni and I were out running errands this afternoon. About 4 blocks from her house, I felt her hand grab my arm and yell, "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness". She pulled a u-turn and out in the cold rain near the woods sat a beautiful black lab, I am guessing 3-4 months old with no collar/tags etc.

The puppy came right up to Jeni and I and started whinning and wagging her tail so excited for us to pet her. I picked her up and we headed to the Humane Society. Of course, it closed at 1pm and we arrived two hours too late.

I told her since she had two toddlers and a dog, I would take her home until Monday. We would both head back to the shelter and drop her off. Jeni, my dear friend, did an excellent job trying to convince me to keep her saying this and that. I put my head into my hands and said, "I am going to end up with three puppies" after I stared at her oh so adorable face.

We headed back to her house and played with the puppy. The kids pulled on her, sat on her, and she just continued to wag her tail. Her temperment was so incredible!

Playing with the kiddos

Aidan playing in the dog's crate

After dinner, another couple came over. They already own a lab, but since the wife is 34 weeks pregnant, I did not hold my breath. Well after 20 minutes or so, they announced that as they walked in the door they knew they would take her home! I am thrilled we found her a good home and not mine.

Jeni and I both felt we did a good deed today saving this sweet puppy.

I knew 3 dogs would be out of the question for me. I only have two hands for rollerbalding.

Also, Daisy goes to the vet on Monday to get fixed so I did not want to take any attention away from her. I am already so scared for her because I am a big baby when it comes to my puppies.

Week Four

Yes my friends, another week bites the dust which brings my grand total to ONE MONTH!

And to celebrate, I joined some of my favorite ladies for wine and hibachi tonight.

You can also follow along as Lynne (far right) blogs about how early detection save lives, including hers :)

Sometimes I do not know where I would be without Destiny and Lynne. Tonight we discussed our bucket list for 2009. Obviously one of my mine was to continue with my deployment goals.

Let's see how I did in the first month:

• My run total is on the rise. 22 miles since he left. Thanks to the wonderful D.A.R. I definitely stole her idea on her tracking device on the left side of my blog.
• Finished Beach House by Jane Green which means I read 3 books, Marley & Me, Shopaholic & Baby and Beach House this month. 2 more than I wanted to read!
• Cooked 3 new things this month including a Penne Vodka, Sweet Potato Salad, and some delicious peanut butter cookies for my cookie exchange party hosted by the wonderful MG.
• Few leads on the job front and hope to make decisions by the end of this month
• Attended a wonderful church service last Sunday
• Game night...definitely happening next week.
• Daisy did not jump on Destiny tonight, again, holding her down, but progress!
• Sent a care package on 20 Dec and very excited for my "Things You Miss at Home" care package, almost ready to go that I will send out 20 Jan

I did not cook for the boys yet with block leave and the holidays, but we have plans for next week.

I love spending time with my friends here. For never having a good group of girlfriends my entire life, I feel like I missed out on fun, but know I am making up for it now.

Tag, I am it...

Here we go. kd and jlc are both so wonderful and tagged yours truly to give you all MORE information about me!

I think everyone at some point has done this, so I am not tagging anyone, unless you want to be, then just let me know!

Six things about myself.

Some of you may already know, but here is what I came up with:


1. I own all 10 Seaons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and watch a few episdoes every SINGLE night before bed. This all started my freshman year of college meaning I have watched Seasons 1-10 at least 100 times in my lifetime. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. trivia anyone?


2. I never wanted a dog (gasp) let alone two dogs. And now they are my pride and joy.


3. I am a 34DD and at 5'1, 115lbs, I look ridiculous at times. Some say I am lucky, I cannot wait for a reduction after babies.


4. I swear in my second life, I am going to become a detective. I love Law & Order SVU, Criminal Minds, CSI, NCIS, anything about serial killers, FBI, etc. No wonder I triple check my locked doors at night.


5. I did play-by-play and/or color commentating in college for our football, basketball (mens & womens), and baseball teams and co-hosted a sports show on Sundays on the radio. I had dreams of becoming a sports broadcaster and actually interned for CBS Sports on their NFL Today show with Greg Gumbel, Boomer, Dan Marino, and Shannon Sharpe my junior year of college. Oh how things change :)


6. I was born in Orange County, California and moved to the Chicagoland at age 5. I lived in Gary, Indiana for 2 years as a kid. Yes, Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana....murder capital of the world and home of Michael Jackson.

Tennis balls and kickboxing.

I now have a love/hate relationship with my kickboxing class. My instructor explains, you get what you put into the class. So crazy me, I punch and kick with a great deal of force. I love it!

I am fine during the class. I never really feel like curling up in a ball at any time to cry because of the intensity. However, like right now, I am sore all over and wonder why I punish my body like I do.

And finally, my sweet Dakota found a tennis ball somewhere in the house. She keeps pushing it under the couch, the love seat, and the chair every 2 minutes and starts whining until I get off my butt and dig for it underneath the furniture.

Does she not understand how darn sore I am?

Fate

Lately I cannot stop thinking about fate and God's will.

During the end of my freshman year of high school, if my friends, Josh and Aaron, did not turn onto Harrison Ave the same exact time as him. I honestly believe we would not be together.

If this force, stronger than the both of us, did not help us through high school, proms, Beast, WP, college, delayed flights, graduations, Ranger School, flight school, workaholics, deployment...I doubt I would be where I am today.

I truly feel so blessed where I am in my life. There are a few things I should worry about, but I feel its never really been in my control anyways.

I know everything is going to work out exactly the way it should.


::sidenote:: I did not eat the ice cream. My friend brought over Cold Stone cake, so I ate that instead :)

Hammering

What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. -Meredith Grey

When I first heard this quote, I didn't really comprehend its true meaning. That is until I stopped working...

A job offer appeared in my email this morning. Everything I could ask for really, except I would head right back down the path of long, ridiculous hours at times.

At least I have more than enough time to think about it...

Ben & Jerry's

So I find it funny that when people ask how I am doing so far with deployment, I reply...

"He bought me a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream a week before he left, just in case I needed it after having a bad day. And guess what? Its still sealed up and in the freezer".

Now question, is it bad I want to open it up not for its intended purpose, but instead to fulfill this ice cream craving that just hit me all of a sudden?

I should treat myself to it after an hour of a strenuous kickboxing class that I not only survived, but pretty much breezed through.

But what about if it comes time when I actually need that pint of 1,000 calorie goodness?

Oh these tough decisions...

I let you know what I decide.

Week Three

Another garbage day....another week down! Terrible correlation I know.

This might be my most productive week yet! Update on my goals:

• Started running this week on the treadmill and my grand total = 6 miles
• Created my full resume. I swear I did everything under the sun in college and worked for two companies last year. Now I can add/delete according to which job I will apply to
• Cooked my new dish tonight and invited Jeni and her kids as my guinea pigs. And since I did not like the Penne Vodka in my cookbook, I stole D.A.R.'s recipe...delicious :)
• Downloaded Quicken to my new computer
• Finished Marley & Me and started and now half-way through The Beach House by Jane Green for my book club here this month
• Daisy did not jump on my guests tonight! Mostly because I pinned her down until she calmly sat like the beautiful, sweet husky I know, but hey, whatever works.
• I missed church this week. As I began to walk out the door, Dave showed up on Skype. A tough decision, but I ended up talking to him for a whole 20 minutes on the webcam.
• Drum roll please... I already syncronized my Wii-Fit, changed a light bulb, set up my Slinbox, figured out how to work our video camera to tape the puppies, and finally learned how to work the thermostat in my house (pathetic I know). All of these combined should at least equal 1 big girl moment, ha!

So far so good, minus missing church. I really feel this week flew by and a large part can be accredited to working on my deployment goals.

Also, I am thrilled to be back in full swing at the gym. I love, love, love working out, but because of the chaos over the last month or so, working out moved to the bottom of the priority list.

No donut for me.

Before he left, I made the decision to not do the infamous Donut of Misery until at least the summer.

I countdown time like I run. I will make it 10 minutes. I will make it until the next commercial. I will make it to the brick house with nice landscaping.

That being said, I promised myself I would plan things to look forward to and enjoy 2009. Instead of counting down until I see him, I will count down to these fun times ahead.

January
Mom visits to paint and decorate my living room and second guest room

Febuary
Fly to Arizona to visit my best friend a few weeks after she delivers her first baby!

March
Drive to Savannah to see one of my favorite WPers marry an amazing woman.

April
Fly to Tampa Bay to be the best darn bridesmaid in my other best friend's wedding
Nasvhille Half-Marathon

May
Drive home to celebrate my mom's 50th and my parent's 25th wedding anniversary

June
Brother turns 21

August
R&R and our 9 year anniversary

September
Start of my brother's football season and tailgating with the family. Go Little Giants!

October
Chicago Marathon

And FYI, I am currently updating on the living room floor because Dakota just kicked me off the couch!

2008

I have no problem saying good-bye to 2008. I felt the year was a tale of two halves for me. I looked back at pictures and my old Live Journal to help me write my year in review. And what did I find...

January-June

I never thought it would happen, but I became a dog person. I fell in love with Dakota. In January I visited him down at Fort Rucker. This would be our last good weekend together for over 6 months. One of my favorite pictures from last year:

I did not realize how freaking much I worked. Looking back at my journal from last year, I updated 7 times in 6 months! I commuted one hour to and from work everyday. I worked at the office from 7am until 8pm every night. When it came to tournament time, I worked Friday-Sunday 6am-1am.

I loved every minute, however, I failed to notice how much I pushed people out of my life. I fought with my sister the first 2 months over her wedding. She wanted a better Maid of Honor. I wanted to work. As a result, I also fought with my mom. I didn't have time for her or him...

We fought and fought and fought some more through January and Feburary. By the time I finally reached out to him at the end of March, it was too late.

For the first time in 8 years, my whole body became numb towards him. I didn't care about losing him, his family, his friends, our relationship. We had the exact same relationship for so long...Visiting on weekends once a month then heading back to our "regular" life. I gave up.

He didn't...Thank God.

We dated other people. Dating for the first time since 15, I found someone completely opposite of him. While fun at the beginning, the newness began to wear away. One month into the relationship, I sat on the stairs and cried telling my mom I just missed my best friend.

However, with work, I didn't have time to reach out.

July

On July 2, 2008. He called and wanted to meet me. I had not seen his face since early Febuary. I drove to Wendy's parking lot, our favorite hangout through high school. He sat on the curb. I headed over to sit next to him and put my head into my knees and just bawled. He placed his hand on my back to console me and I felt my entire body melt.

I missed his touch.

7 days later, I found out about my boss. I immediately quit my job and drove 6 hours to Campbell from Chicago and he drove 6 hours from Rucker. We finally met in the middle.

August

We bought a house together. We bought another beautiful puppy together.

I absolutley loved living with him and our girls.

September-October

I wanted to work again. It defined who I was for so long. I started to define myself in other terms, as a friend. Our Saturday volleyball gang

Instead of being negative about my situation, I embraced it. I decorated and painted our house. I landscaped with his parents. I became a better cook. I took Daisy to obedience classes and worked with both of them every night. I began to blog more frequently. I reconnected with friends.

November

Whether I liked it or not, I threw myself in the Army. With his Pathfinder and Air Assault slot and block leave. November was definitely our Army month. I began preparing myself for his deployment. Every day I told myself I was going to kick ass.

His Air Assault graduation.

December

Our 2 weeks before he left, everything I could ask for and more. It helped tremondoulsy with the hustle and bustle of D-Day. I knew I did everything I could do to make it easier.

This month in this year was a memorable year, both good and bad.

Alone and smiling on Christmas next to his stocking.

I always feel the way I spend New Years Eve serves as a metaphor for how my year will turn out. Last year, we went outside our comfort zone to a fancy club. It was not us. We spent most of the night complaining. After midnight, we left. We left hand and hand in beautiful downtown Chicago and walked 2 miles in a breath taking light snow fall.

This year, I headed over to Jeni's. Her mom made an amazing Korean dinner. I played with her babies, played Scrabble, and rang in the New Year with a glass of wine and a hug from an amazing friend.

I smiled at her after our hug and said, "Our boys come home this year".

So see you later 2008 and bring on 2009. I am ready for it with a whole army of support behind me :)