No Superwoman Here

While on the phone with him the other night, I mentioned the infamous lawn. I have been insanely busy the past few days (I am not complaining). He said..."Babe, just pay a lawn service". To me, I thought this was so sweet, but I responded with a I'll get to it tomorrow after subbing. I could handle it.

You see I thought I only worked Monday and Tuesday at Curves so Wednesday would give me a exactly 2 hours to cut the grass before heading to my weekly pot luck.

I walked in the door yesterday while talking with my MIL and let out a loud, "Oh no". I smelled poop. I looked into her cage and saw it everywhere. On the wall, cage, bed, rug, kitchen floor. As a few too many other times this deployment, I spent the next hour cleaning, scrubbing, and hosing.

I also received a phone call from my boss. She forgot to mention to me I work Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings too.


I didn't even flinch when I called the lawn service immediately following the phone conversation.

And then sent him an email:

When you come home, I will not deal with poop, vomit, or bunnies for the next entire year.

He emailed me back and said "Deal". I forgot to mention the lawn in our new contract. Dang it!

Broken

I remember telling him as well as mentioning in previous posts that our house will still stand after a 12 month deployment, it might be completely surrounded in duct tape, but it will stand.

Lately I feel the same goes for his (our) dog too. Dakota is his baby. We bought her together, but she lived and slept with him every night during flight school.

I boarded Dakota over Labor Day weekend. It was my plan all along. His grandfather passed just 2 days before I planned on heading home. They scheduled the wake for that Tuesday/Wednesday. My friend said she could pick up Dakota on Tuesday morning and stay with her for those two days.

I received "frantic" texts and voicemails from her about Dakota chewing through her splint. I told her to simply drop her off at the vet/boarding place.

When I picked her up on Thursday afternoon, Dakota managed to slip out of her splint before we even reached the car. I picked her up and the doctor re-splinted her.

Today, she managed to slip out of her splint again. Instead of taking her to the vet. I re-splinted her myself thanks to the medical tape I decided was a necessity.

I looked down at her nails and saw they needed to be cut. In two years, I cut her nails once since I run her so much, the pavement keeps them short.

Guess what happened?

Yep. I cut one of her nails too short and her claw started gushing blood. I found a napkin and wrapped her claw, once again with the medical tape.

He asked to see her this afternoon on the webcam. Once he saw her, he asked me, "What did you do to her". I wanted to laugh...and then cry. I responded with, "Dakota and I are a mess these days".

To make it up to her, I scrambled some eggs and poured it over her dog food. She's now sound asleep on my lap where I hope not to break her any further.

Grandpups

I love my mother. However, she sent her youngest child off to college three years ago and is desperately looking for that next stage in her life....being a grandmother.

Now she never directly says "Please have a baby now". But everytime she overhears my response to children as "Probably closer to 30", she thinks that is way too long to wait.

That being said, Dakota and Daisy take A LOT of pressure off of me. Ever since we brought Dakota home almost 2 years ago, she spoiled her rotten. She spent more money on Dakota her first Christmas then she spent on him and I!

As soon as Dakota broke her leg, my mother did not hesitate to write on my FB wall, "I am coming down to get Daisy". But mom, I didn't even ask? Do not get me wrong, I knew something needed to be done to help Dak recover and am forever thankful. And when I mentioned a 6-8 week recovery time, she didn't even flinch. She responded with a "Well you can get her on Thanksgiving".

I needed to drop Dakota off at the vet/boarding place before I headed home this weekend. I felt so sad leaving her there, but knew it would be the only way she could recover. Not to mention I boarded her at the same place that treats her.

After coming home last night, I am seriously and I mean seriously afraid I will not get Daisy back!

My neighbor came over to greet me and told me how much my parents stinking spoil her. My mom just signed her up for a $100/year dog park (now half price since its September). I met my parents at the dog park when I first arrived in town.

That dog park is AMAZING! Now I know why so many people pay so much. I came during "Yappy Hour" where all the owners are served beer and wine as they watch their dogs play. Daisy looked incredibly happy (and tired). She is the center of my parent's universe.

I always knew my parents would make wonderful grandparents and how they treat my puppy furthers my convictions. Thank goodness for "grandpups" as my mom calls them.

Thrive or just survive?

One of my good friends informed me that August 5th (my last update) was a long time ago. Because of the gap in entries, I could blog about any number of things. San Diego, engagement pictures, , my new beautiful diamond ring, his wonderful friends visiting from all over, my new survive and thrive goals or the aftermath of him getting back on that plane to head back to the sandbox.

While I will eventually blog about my wonderful two weeks, the aftermath is too fresh in the mind.

He left a week ago. On Sunday I decided to cut the grass. I took the mower out of the shed and realized I needed to pick up dog poop. When I turned on the lawn mower, it started and like most of us, I began to push forward. When I looked down 1.9 seconds later, I saw four baby bunnies desperately trying to run for their lives.

For everyones sake who is reading, I am not going to describe the scene. I do not know how I cleaned it all up.

Two hours later, I finished cutting the grass, cleaning the pool, gardening and pulling weeds. Daisy began sniffing like crazy. She darted to the corner of the yard. I knew what she saw...baby bunny #5. I began screaming and so did the baby bunny. Daisy swallowed her whole.

The next day she found bunny #6. Same story.

On the third day, after an exhausting day of subbing I walked in the door to let Daisy out of her cage. Bunny vomit everywhere. I immediately took her and the cage outside and started hosing everything off.

I noticed my garden needed some water. Instead of pulling the hose all the way to the back of the yard, I stood at a distance. Dakota loves drinking water from the hose. She began jumping around like a grasshopper. I tried to yell at her to stop, but Dak Dak loves running and jumping. On one of her jumps, in about 5 seconds I saw her land just on her back right leg funny and let out the worse noise I have ever heard in my life. A noise I hope I never have to hear again.

I did not even hesitate. I picked up my 60lb dog, placed her in the Envoy and grabbed my purse. The vet told me she broke her leg in two places. I did ok emotionally and then they told me I needed to leave her overnight. I started crying and could not stop crying all night.

Little did I know, the hard part would be afterwards I picked her up today. The vet informed me in the next 8 weeks, there should be little movement and exercise. I have to carry her up and down our deck stairs. The splint is located near her "goods" so everytime she pees I need to pull the splint away so she doesn't urniate all over the splint. She's still in pain and whines quite a bit.

And right now? I still have my head up, but would consider myself as emotionally exhausted.

I updated my survive and thrive goal list and it made me think about taking the word "survive" out completely. I feel I "survived" so much in the past 9 months

lost two jobs, house struck by lightning, replace and fix AC not once but twice, replace garage door, replace 2 cell phones, fix board for front circuit breaker, pool breaks down twice, re-install both internet and cable, lawnmower breaks, almost needed to put Daisy to sleep, both dogs sick with kennel cough, cleaned up 15 dead animals in our backyard (birds and bunnies), his dying grandfather, and now my baby breaking her leg

If I can still laugh about all of the above...shouldn't this techincally be considered as "thriving" during the deployment? I guess I didn't need to make any outrageous goals. I think getting by for an entire year on your own is good enough for me.

We're almost there....

Nesting

Super Jeni is now 8 months pregnant. These past few weeks I've headed over to her house to move the washer/dryer, lift/move the mattress, move boxes etc. She says she is going through a "nesting period".

So that is what they call it.

I know they say boys do not notice this stuff, but I am a clean freak. To the point where I am that person grabbing your plate before you finish eating just so I can rinse and stick it in the dishwasher. That being said, I cannot stop cleaning...like really cleaning.

In the past two weeks I have:

Swept and organized the garage and shed.
Took out everything in every cabinet and scrubbed in the inside
Took out everything in the refridgerator and scrubbed the inside
Cleaned behind the washer and dryer
Washed and dry cleaned all the curtains
Shampo the carpets

Will he notice? Oh absolutely not. Will I feel better? Absolutely.

I still need to clean out our bedroom. Daisy sleeps in there every night and even though I vacuum every single day, there is still a lot of dog hair.

I also need to show the girls how to share the bed. Dakota sleeps on his side, head on his pillow and everything, and Daisy sprawls out as wide as possible, legs in the air and everything, in the middle of the bed. We honestly have no room for daddy, but will need to make room pretty soon.

Happy Birthday Daisy!

Someone, somehow disconnected our internet for no reason. I need to call tomorrow and get to the bottom of it. I am beginning to learn its always something when being a homeowner. Katie and I decided to head out and find some wi-fi after a few days of no internet connection.

In brighter news, my parents visited this weekend. We accomplished so much. I have a laundry list of things I want to get done before he comes home for R&R. And we crossed quite a few things off the list. Not to mention the house is sparkling clean. Only 3.5 more weeks...

Also, this weekend we celebrated Daisy girl's birthday. My, how much she's grown in a year.

Yes, she's pretty close to being as tall as me. I am short.

A doggie ice cream sandwich! Do not worry. I bought one for Dakota too.

Feel the love

You know that feeling when you walk in the door and realized you haven't peed all day and immediately race to the bathroom.

Well that happens to me everyday.

As soon as I walk in the door, I let the dogs out and run to the bathroom. However, I cannot tell you the last time I used the washroom in complete privacy.

Everyday I forgot to close the door and every single day after work, I have two puppies trying to jump on me while trying to do my business.

You think I would learn my lesson.

Looking up...

I swear he is my good luck charm. Today I heard his voice for the first time in about 2 weeks and we spent the entire 20 minute conversation laughing so hard, my mouth started to hurt.

After our conversation, I gained another client at a time where I needed it the most.

And nine years later, our fighting/arguing is at a bare minimum because of honesty and laughter. Before he left, we talked about communication. I said:

I do not care about emails, flowers, or phone calls, just make sure you write on my FB wall once a week to let me know you love me and/or you are alive.

Seems simple enough. Oh its been over a month and of course I let it slide until I saw him writing on one of our best friend's wall for his birthday.

Our first conversation in two weeks started like this after our initial greetings:

Me: So I saw you can write on Brandon's wall, but not mine?
Him: (loud eruption of laughter)
Me: Do not laugh at me. I only asked for one thing before you left (I start laughing)
Him: (continued laughter)
Me: (me yelling his FIRST, MIDDLE, LAST name)
Him: I just wrote Happy Birthday
Me: Well you know you can write that on my wall every once in awhile too

Well he wrote Happy Birthday on my FB wall. We're still 4 months away from my actual birthday, but boy did it make my day.

The laughing did not stop. I shared how Daisy brought a dead bird into the house on Thursday night at 1AM. And how I always kill flies that get into our house with our kitchen towels and now Dakota likes to grab the kitchen towel out of your hand and bury it in the backyard. We think she's confused on whether the towel is the bad guy or the fly.

Or how his dad forgot to pick me up for church on Sunday. And when I walked into church 10 minutes late, he let out his infamous chuckle. No worries, he bought breakfast afterwards to make it up to me.

So after an amazing weekend of laying out at the beach, hanging out with both families, and visiting my alma mater, an amazing phone conversation, and a pretty good day at work, things are definitely looking up.

I hope this lasts for awhile.

Screw you Mommy.

After a 12 hour day...I knew walking into our house, the girls were not going to be happy with me. Even after a 2.5 mile run this morning at 5:30am.

My normally sweet and obedient Dakota managed to break into the pantry and eat some of the paper plates. By the time I took Daisy out of her cage, they nearly knocked me over in excitement.

I let them calm down for about 10 minutes. Leashed them up and put on my rollerblades in the garage. I heard them jumping more than usual at the garage door to the house. When I reached to grab the handle. Locked.

I definitely did not lock it. With all their jumping, one of their paws must have hit the lock.

I rollerbladed a mile to my life savior, Destiny's. Not home. Headed to my friend Laurie's house to use her phone to call Destiny. No answer. A few minutes passed and I saw her car pull into her street. I chased her down (still in my rollerblades) and she of course laughed at me. Mostly because I was laughing at myself, saying, "My life is a mess sometimes".

I hate locking myself out. Which reminds me, I still need to get my lawn mower out of the shed.

P.S. My girls, currently wrestling outside on the deck. Their bodies just banged into my kitchen window.

P.S.S. I still rollerbladed with them for another 2.5 miles tonight.

Anyone looking for two very calm and obedient puppies? Going for a good price...

All grown up

Being an adult....very overrated at times.

Like when it comes to cutting the grass. I changed into my mowing the yard clothes and could not find the keys to our shed anywhere. I hauled my butt over to Home Depot to see what they could do and apparently my lawn mower in our shed is more secure than our home.

How about when you're not only an adult, but an alone adult in the military? Last night around 2:30am, my good friend and neighbor called. I heard her house alarm going off in the background. I jumped out of bed, grabbed Dakota, and headed a block down the street.

I did not even blink an eye when she apologized for waking me up. Are you kidding me? We are in this together. I know what its like to live in a big house by yourself. Turns out her fire alarm suffered a malfunction. Better safe than sorry.

And to think, a year ago, I lived at home and worked at my dream job making some good money. I bought whatever I wanted. My mom, the laundry nazis, kept up with my dirty clothes, and my daddy definitely protected me from the bad guys.

With work, the economy is beginning to hurt our business. They shut down 5 locations and of course our branch is on the radar, meaning I am on the radar. I NEED to be on top of my quotas and paperwork. I am feeling the pressure. To put icing on the cake, our Regional VP will be visiting tomorrow morning. I worked last night for a few hours and again today. I am very nervous.

I wouldn't change where I am at for the world, but adulthood is responsiblity. I hate changing lightbulbs (random, I know) and cutting the grass every 5 days. Our conversation today:

Me: I cannot wait until summer.
Him: Why?
Me: Until the sun kills our grass and I no longer have to cut it every 5 days.
Him: What?!
Me: You heard me right. I am not watering our grass. If I water it, then I have to cut it.
Him: You are forgetting about Big Tom
Me: DANG IT!

Big Tom = His father, a man very obsessed with yards including mine.

Being an adult can be fun. Yesterday morning, I finally completed my boudoir photos. The amazing photographer gave me a sneak peak last night and I love them! Let me tell you, getting your picture taken for 2 hours, very exhausting.

And this might sound crazy, but it flelt like an intense ab workout for most of the photo shoot.

Speaking of workouts, I am still going strong with P90X and am finally in the addicted, kind of enjoy it phase. Once I hit 90 days, he will be home for R&R :)

A few tears...A few cookies

This weekend I am heading out of town for one of our very good friend's wedding. I am excited to see his friends who over the years have turned into my big brothers/best friends/family.

However, I am forgetting about two very important things. Dakota and Daisy.

I kept putting off what to do until tonight. I called my mother and toyed with the idea of driving 6 hours north to Chicago to drop them off and drive another 14 hours south to the wedding.

I began researching boarding places. Dakota is tough and stayed with some crazy people down at flight school. With Daisy, I am more sensitive, especially after her surgery experience. I looked up a place everyone raved about here. I began reading the reviews:

the packages of food I had expected them to eat were still in the bag. As soon as I got them home, the female jumped out of the car and let loose a large diarrhetic stool

My friends dog got killed here.It was a small dog, and since they were careless, they let it in the large roaming area with big dogs. The poor thing got mauled to death.

I was told by more than one reliable source that a large dog died while at the Guest HouseI was told that the Guest House was negligent in caring for the dog and that the dog died a traumatic and terrible death.

So I started crying about the thought of boarding them. I sucked it up and called a good friend stationed here. I asked him about the possiblity of house/dog sitting and he agreed. I wanted to reach through the phone and hug him.

I still feel guilty about sitting around so besides running and rollerblading, cooking and baking take up a lot of my time now.

I made a yummy homemade salsa for a nice healthy snack for when I get home:

1 med green pepper, diced
1 med red pepper, diced
1 med vidalia (sweet) onion, diced
4 regular tomaotes, diced OR 6 roma tomatoes, diced
1/2 bag frozen sweet corn
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 cup apple cider vinegar
1 packet good season dry italian dressing mix

Combine all of the ingredients and refrigerate 2 hours before eating.

And on Sunday, my poor friend had one of our friends fall through her attic floor into her kitchen so I brought over Dijon Orange Roughy Fillets (fish very similiar to Tilapia)

It might be the easiest, best tasting recipe ever.

2 tablespoons butter

1 tablesoon Dijon mustard

1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

1 1/2 tbs fresh lemon juice

4 Orange Roughy/Tilapia

3 tbs fresh bread crumbs

Preheat over to 450 degrees. Melt butter over low heat in saucepan. Add mustard, Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice. and mix well Place fish in lightly greased baking pan. Pour sauce over fillets and sprinkle with bread crumbs. Bake for 7-8 minutes.

I also made layered oatmeal-chip cookies tonight for our pot luck dinner tonight. However, I made 30 cookies and while they were cooling, I forgot about them and walked out of the room. My beautiful husky snatched 4-5 of them. Grrrr.

Pick Your Favorite

When I look through my pictures and posts it scares me how much I discuss Daisy. I sometimes feel bad for my other wonderful dog, Dakota.


Now I could not survive without Dakota. Everyone who comes to visit, his family, and my family all love Dak Dak (nickname). Her temperment is incredibly sweet and loyal. She's my protector. If she hears a noise, we need to go inspect not only where she thinks she heard the noise, but the surrounding rooms. She heads in a room, does a lap, looks up at me like the coast is clear then walks out the door into the next room.


I guess I am making a point that I love Dakota.


But I have said it before and will say it again that I have never met a dog with more personality than Miss Daisy Girl. He and I talked today about how much she makes us smile. Even thousands of miles away, he always laughs out loud watching her on the webcam.


Case and point. These pictures are just from today. I could blog about her adventures everyday.


Two dogs outside in the rain for two minutes. One comes in completely clean, the other walks into my kitchen looking like this:



Over the past 8 months with her, I continue to learn my patience and sense of humor always shines through these mishaps.


I decided to clean out my car today. As soon as I open up the door:



I tried getting her out of the car. However, she wanted to go for a ride. She sat like this for a good 20 minutes looking out the window in the garage





I thrive during this deployment because of both of them. One protects me and the other one drives me crazy and makes me laugh on a daily basis.

Week Eleven

Well where do I start...

I truly believe I am suffering from blogger's block. And I know exactly why.

About 10 days ago, I decided to "forgo" my newest job opportunity. Its an incredibly long story that I promise to share eventually. I will say I absolutely made the right decision and have no regrets whatsoever. For awhile I found it difficult to blog.

I am back in the interview/resume/application saddle and found some luck. I am on interview #3 with a company, but not sure what will happen next. While I continue my job search related to my major, I am subbing. And let me say, God Bless teachers. I taught elementary all of last week. I never said "Keep your hands to yourself" or "Eyes and ears on me girls and boys" more in my entire life.

This week I am subbing 6th grade English at a local middle school, Monday-Friday. Its like a real job, ha, which I am still adjusting to this new schedule. They actually offered me a long term position to teach that class until the end of the school year. I have until the end of the week to decide.

And let me tell you, my dogs HATE my schedule. I truly believe I trained obedient dogs, but not as of late. Friday afternoon I came home to two very hyper dogs. I immediately changed my clothes and put on my rollerblades. The girls took off so fast that all of a sudden I witnessed both of my legs and rollerblades fly straight into the air and I landed square on my back. I self-diagnosed myself with a bruised tailbone.

Four days later I am still in a ton of pain. I did not go to kickboxing for the first time in 2 months. Instead I lifted and ran two miles at a very slow pace. My darling friend and neighbor brought over her heating pad and let's just say, its my new best friend, even replaced DVR in my life!

I promised myself to take it easy this week, but I am growing more and more frustrated as I realized I am 11 days away from my half-marathon. I do not know what to do.

Besides all the minor drama, I am still feeling good about a lot of things. As I approach the three month mark, I am:

• Still cooking three new meals a month
• Scrapbooking a lot more
• Already reading my second book, a trashy Hollywood novel this month
• Studying a little more for my personal training license
• Involving myself more at my church and still attending every week

Six out of the past seven weekends, my house was filled with visitors. Last weekend my sister and brother-in-law visited. This weekend is no different. His former teammate at WP's wife wants to come check out the area while her husband finishes Ranger School. They plan to move here in May which means another wonderful friend nearby.

Hopefully this ends my blogger's block!

Week Eight

Oh yes, another month down. Not another week, but another month. I convinced myself the other day if I make it through the ugly months of January, February, and March time will really start flying, especially during the summer. Tonight I left my back door open and just enjoyed the smell of warmth.

• Read The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. I decided to switch over to a more academic book and boy did it take me awhile to read. I love Gladwell though. I read his previous two books (The Tipping Point and Blink) and he makes me want to become a business/communications professor because his findings fascinate me. However, next month I go back to suspenseful, sometimes trashy fiction where I escape from my reality.



• Cooked three new menu items: Paprika Chicken, Ravioli with Sun Dried Tomatoes, and a Beer Cheddar Cheese dip for a Super Bowl party and also cooked for the boys.



• Ran outside for the first time since October. I made the mistake of taking Dakota who stopped several times for no reason other than to express to me her stubbornness



• Switched back to my original church here and finally involved myself in the congregation. I volunteered to host a few members of a choir traveling here for a weekend stay in March

• Found a painter to give me a pretty good estimate to paint the rest of the living room and other guest room

My parents drove down to visit me yet again. I know I am incredibly spoiled. My dad already washed both cars. We visited Nashville and I found the place where I want to get married

I dream of a southern plantation wedding and above is the historic mansion where it might just come true. It received some buzz because Taylor Swift did a photo shoot on this same swing below.




I do not know about you, but I think I look better minus the make-up, beautiful dress, and overall glowing beauty.

Ramblings

- DVR might jump ahead of him on top loves in my life and I am perfectly OK with it

-Might NEED to buy new jeans, not a size smaller, but a size bigger to fit my rear end

-Going through a 40lb bag of dog food weekly

-Destiny and Lynne told me Criminal Minds actually airs on A&E too, most exciting news I heard this month

-Daisy entertains me on a daily basis, never met a dog with so much crazy personality

-Working from home, not as easy as it sounds...too many distractions

-Buying a flat iron really did convince me my hair looked longer

-Ran outside in my robe, chasing Dakota and our pool skimmer, which happened to be in her mouth

-DVR currently contains 12 episodes of "Miss Sunny Spider Patch Friends" for Aiden when he comes over


Oh my boring life these days.

No longer babies...

Due to recent photos, I am beginning to think I no longer own puppies.



November 2007

Now

August 2008

Now

Running out of room

I know the girls miss their "daddy", however, they definitely enjoy the extra room.



Only problem, where am I going to sleep?

Cleaning Adventures

My parents arrive tonight and my mom is way too excited, which makes me excited.

I clean everyday. It is inevitable with two dogs, but when parents/company come over, I do a lot more cleaning than normal.

A few things I noticed:

- I absolutely hate cleaning the bathroom, actually I loathe cleaning the bathrooms. I love cleaning, its a sense of accomplishment, but I usually make him clean the bathrooms. If I ever make enough money, I am hiring someone just to come over and clean the them.

-I need the Dog Whisperer to come to my house and explain to Dakota, my very protective dog, that the vacuum is not a monster, it is not attacking me, therefore STOP TRYING TO BITE MY DYSON!

-I still have my Christmas tree up and really have no problem with it.

-Received a "STOP MESSING WITH MY DESK AND TRUNK!!" message from him this morning after I informed him in a email that I cleaned out the bonus room. Whoops! Actually those were not his exact words, I try and keep this blog PG-13.

Nothing we can do about it now. I told him this is the woman he chose to be with and he laughed.

Tennis balls and kickboxing.

I now have a love/hate relationship with my kickboxing class. My instructor explains, you get what you put into the class. So crazy me, I punch and kick with a great deal of force. I love it!

I am fine during the class. I never really feel like curling up in a ball at any time to cry because of the intensity. However, like right now, I am sore all over and wonder why I punish my body like I do.

And finally, my sweet Dakota found a tennis ball somewhere in the house. She keeps pushing it under the couch, the love seat, and the chair every 2 minutes and starts whining until I get off my butt and dig for it underneath the furniture.

Does she not understand how darn sore I am?

2008

I have no problem saying good-bye to 2008. I felt the year was a tale of two halves for me. I looked back at pictures and my old Live Journal to help me write my year in review. And what did I find...

January-June

I never thought it would happen, but I became a dog person. I fell in love with Dakota. In January I visited him down at Fort Rucker. This would be our last good weekend together for over 6 months. One of my favorite pictures from last year:

I did not realize how freaking much I worked. Looking back at my journal from last year, I updated 7 times in 6 months! I commuted one hour to and from work everyday. I worked at the office from 7am until 8pm every night. When it came to tournament time, I worked Friday-Sunday 6am-1am.

I loved every minute, however, I failed to notice how much I pushed people out of my life. I fought with my sister the first 2 months over her wedding. She wanted a better Maid of Honor. I wanted to work. As a result, I also fought with my mom. I didn't have time for her or him...

We fought and fought and fought some more through January and Feburary. By the time I finally reached out to him at the end of March, it was too late.

For the first time in 8 years, my whole body became numb towards him. I didn't care about losing him, his family, his friends, our relationship. We had the exact same relationship for so long...Visiting on weekends once a month then heading back to our "regular" life. I gave up.

He didn't...Thank God.

We dated other people. Dating for the first time since 15, I found someone completely opposite of him. While fun at the beginning, the newness began to wear away. One month into the relationship, I sat on the stairs and cried telling my mom I just missed my best friend.

However, with work, I didn't have time to reach out.

July

On July 2, 2008. He called and wanted to meet me. I had not seen his face since early Febuary. I drove to Wendy's parking lot, our favorite hangout through high school. He sat on the curb. I headed over to sit next to him and put my head into my knees and just bawled. He placed his hand on my back to console me and I felt my entire body melt.

I missed his touch.

7 days later, I found out about my boss. I immediately quit my job and drove 6 hours to Campbell from Chicago and he drove 6 hours from Rucker. We finally met in the middle.

August

We bought a house together. We bought another beautiful puppy together.

I absolutley loved living with him and our girls.

September-October

I wanted to work again. It defined who I was for so long. I started to define myself in other terms, as a friend. Our Saturday volleyball gang

Instead of being negative about my situation, I embraced it. I decorated and painted our house. I landscaped with his parents. I became a better cook. I took Daisy to obedience classes and worked with both of them every night. I began to blog more frequently. I reconnected with friends.

November

Whether I liked it or not, I threw myself in the Army. With his Pathfinder and Air Assault slot and block leave. November was definitely our Army month. I began preparing myself for his deployment. Every day I told myself I was going to kick ass.

His Air Assault graduation.

December

Our 2 weeks before he left, everything I could ask for and more. It helped tremondoulsy with the hustle and bustle of D-Day. I knew I did everything I could do to make it easier.

This month in this year was a memorable year, both good and bad.

Alone and smiling on Christmas next to his stocking.

I always feel the way I spend New Years Eve serves as a metaphor for how my year will turn out. Last year, we went outside our comfort zone to a fancy club. It was not us. We spent most of the night complaining. After midnight, we left. We left hand and hand in beautiful downtown Chicago and walked 2 miles in a breath taking light snow fall.

This year, I headed over to Jeni's. Her mom made an amazing Korean dinner. I played with her babies, played Scrabble, and rang in the New Year with a glass of wine and a hug from an amazing friend.

I smiled at her after our hug and said, "Our boys come home this year".

So see you later 2008 and bring on 2009. I am ready for it with a whole army of support behind me :)