I did not realize how freaking much I worked. Looking back at my journal from last year, I updated 7 times in 6 months! I commuted one hour to and from work everyday. I worked at the office from 7am until 8pm every night. When it came to tournament time, I worked Friday-Sunday 6am-1am.
I loved every minute, however, I failed to notice how much I pushed people out of my life. I fought with my sister the first 2 months over her wedding. She wanted a better Maid of Honor. I wanted to work. As a result, I also fought with my mom. I didn't have time for her or him...
We fought and fought and fought some more through January and Feburary. By the time I finally reached out to him at the end of March, it was too late.
For the first time in 8 years, my whole body became numb towards him. I didn't care about losing him, his family, his friends, our relationship. We had the exact same relationship for so long...Visiting on weekends once a month then heading back to our "regular" life. I gave up.
He didn't...Thank God.
We dated other people. Dating for the first time since 15, I found someone completely opposite of him. While fun at the beginning, the newness began to wear away. One month into the relationship, I sat on the stairs and cried telling my mom I just missed my best friend.
However, with work, I didn't have time to reach out.
July
On July 2, 2008. He called and wanted to meet me. I had not seen his face since early Febuary. I drove to Wendy's parking lot, our favorite hangout through high school. He sat on the curb. I headed over to sit next to him and put my head into my knees and just bawled. He placed his hand on my back to console me and I felt my entire body melt.
I missed his touch.
7 days later, I found out about my boss. I immediately quit my job and drove 6 hours to Campbell from Chicago and he drove 6 hours from Rucker. We finally met in the middle.
August
We bought a house together. We bought another beautiful puppy together.
Instead of being negative about my situation, I embraced it. I decorated and painted our house. I landscaped with his parents. I became a better cook. I took Daisy to obedience classes and worked with both of them every night. I began to blog more frequently. I reconnected with friends.
November
Whether I liked it or not, I threw myself in the Army. With his Pathfinder and Air Assault slot and block leave. November was definitely our Army month. I began preparing myself for his deployment. Every day I told myself I was going to kick ass.
His Air Assault graduation.
December
Our 2 weeks before he left, everything I could ask for and more. It helped tremondoulsy with the hustle and bustle of D-Day. I knew I did everything I could do to make it easier.
This month in this year was a memorable year, both good and bad.
Alone and smiling on Christmas next to his stocking.
I always feel the way I spend New Years Eve serves as a metaphor for how my year will turn out. Last year, we went outside our comfort zone to a fancy club. It was not us. We spent most of the night complaining. After midnight, we left. We left hand and hand in beautiful downtown Chicago and walked 2 miles in a breath taking light snow fall.
This year, I headed over to Jeni's. Her mom made an amazing Korean dinner. I played with her babies, played Scrabble, and rang in the New Year with a glass of wine and a hug from an amazing friend.
I smiled at her after our hug and said, "Our boys come home this year".
So see you later 2008 and bring on 2009. I am ready for it with a whole army of support behind me :)
