Thrive or just survive?

One of my good friends informed me that August 5th (my last update) was a long time ago. Because of the gap in entries, I could blog about any number of things. San Diego, engagement pictures, , my new beautiful diamond ring, his wonderful friends visiting from all over, my new survive and thrive goals or the aftermath of him getting back on that plane to head back to the sandbox.

While I will eventually blog about my wonderful two weeks, the aftermath is too fresh in the mind.

He left a week ago. On Sunday I decided to cut the grass. I took the mower out of the shed and realized I needed to pick up dog poop. When I turned on the lawn mower, it started and like most of us, I began to push forward. When I looked down 1.9 seconds later, I saw four baby bunnies desperately trying to run for their lives.

For everyones sake who is reading, I am not going to describe the scene. I do not know how I cleaned it all up.

Two hours later, I finished cutting the grass, cleaning the pool, gardening and pulling weeds. Daisy began sniffing like crazy. She darted to the corner of the yard. I knew what she saw...baby bunny #5. I began screaming and so did the baby bunny. Daisy swallowed her whole.

The next day she found bunny #6. Same story.

On the third day, after an exhausting day of subbing I walked in the door to let Daisy out of her cage. Bunny vomit everywhere. I immediately took her and the cage outside and started hosing everything off.

I noticed my garden needed some water. Instead of pulling the hose all the way to the back of the yard, I stood at a distance. Dakota loves drinking water from the hose. She began jumping around like a grasshopper. I tried to yell at her to stop, but Dak Dak loves running and jumping. On one of her jumps, in about 5 seconds I saw her land just on her back right leg funny and let out the worse noise I have ever heard in my life. A noise I hope I never have to hear again.

I did not even hesitate. I picked up my 60lb dog, placed her in the Envoy and grabbed my purse. The vet told me she broke her leg in two places. I did ok emotionally and then they told me I needed to leave her overnight. I started crying and could not stop crying all night.

Little did I know, the hard part would be afterwards I picked her up today. The vet informed me in the next 8 weeks, there should be little movement and exercise. I have to carry her up and down our deck stairs. The splint is located near her "goods" so everytime she pees I need to pull the splint away so she doesn't urniate all over the splint. She's still in pain and whines quite a bit.

And right now? I still have my head up, but would consider myself as emotionally exhausted.

I updated my survive and thrive goal list and it made me think about taking the word "survive" out completely. I feel I "survived" so much in the past 9 months

lost two jobs, house struck by lightning, replace and fix AC not once but twice, replace garage door, replace 2 cell phones, fix board for front circuit breaker, pool breaks down twice, re-install both internet and cable, lawnmower breaks, almost needed to put Daisy to sleep, both dogs sick with kennel cough, cleaned up 15 dead animals in our backyard (birds and bunnies), his dying grandfather, and now my baby breaking her leg

If I can still laugh about all of the above...shouldn't this techincally be considered as "thriving" during the deployment? I guess I didn't need to make any outrageous goals. I think getting by for an entire year on your own is good enough for me.

We're almost there....

Week 18...Week 19

Errrrr or something like that. Goodness gracious, what have I been doing? To my defense, I probably started close to 5 or 6 updates and forgot they were there with the phone ringing, dogs barking, etc.

I can hardly believe the end of this week starts the month of May. And the girls and I are slowly getting back into a routine.

I am desperately trying to work less. My last job I worked close t 110 hours a week and it completely consumed my life. I promised myself this time I would be different. However, I find myself at times falling into that trap. Overall, I enjoy my job.

Although I did not run the half-marathon for numerous reasons (fell again rollerblading...sick for 2 weeks...starting a new job), I feel somewhat accomplished for keeping up with my deployment goals.

I am still cooking many new receipes and quite proud of myself. Last week I brought over homemade macaroni and cheese for a woman in our company who delievered a baby less than a month ago.

In other exciting news, we (my mom and I) finished decorating the second guest room. And to be honest, its some of her best work yet. I spent less than $200 and my mom probably spent another $200. The result:

Before

After

I absolutely love it and more importantly, he loves it.

I am still reading. I read The Last Lecture last month and still deciding what to read for May.

Right now, I am trying to plan a trip for his R&R in August, desperately trying to get back in shape, and getting ready to open my pool for summer, which excites me.

I cannot complain. Time seems to be moving along nicely...

A few tears...A few cookies

This weekend I am heading out of town for one of our very good friend's wedding. I am excited to see his friends who over the years have turned into my big brothers/best friends/family.

However, I am forgetting about two very important things. Dakota and Daisy.

I kept putting off what to do until tonight. I called my mother and toyed with the idea of driving 6 hours north to Chicago to drop them off and drive another 14 hours south to the wedding.

I began researching boarding places. Dakota is tough and stayed with some crazy people down at flight school. With Daisy, I am more sensitive, especially after her surgery experience. I looked up a place everyone raved about here. I began reading the reviews:

the packages of food I had expected them to eat were still in the bag. As soon as I got them home, the female jumped out of the car and let loose a large diarrhetic stool

My friends dog got killed here.It was a small dog, and since they were careless, they let it in the large roaming area with big dogs. The poor thing got mauled to death.

I was told by more than one reliable source that a large dog died while at the Guest HouseI was told that the Guest House was negligent in caring for the dog and that the dog died a traumatic and terrible death.

So I started crying about the thought of boarding them. I sucked it up and called a good friend stationed here. I asked him about the possiblity of house/dog sitting and he agreed. I wanted to reach through the phone and hug him.

I still feel guilty about sitting around so besides running and rollerblading, cooking and baking take up a lot of my time now.

I made a yummy homemade salsa for a nice healthy snack for when I get home:

1 med green pepper, diced
1 med red pepper, diced
1 med vidalia (sweet) onion, diced
4 regular tomaotes, diced OR 6 roma tomatoes, diced
1/2 bag frozen sweet corn
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 cup apple cider vinegar
1 packet good season dry italian dressing mix

Combine all of the ingredients and refrigerate 2 hours before eating.

And on Sunday, my poor friend had one of our friends fall through her attic floor into her kitchen so I brought over Dijon Orange Roughy Fillets (fish very similiar to Tilapia)

It might be the easiest, best tasting recipe ever.

2 tablespoons butter

1 tablesoon Dijon mustard

1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

1 1/2 tbs fresh lemon juice

4 Orange Roughy/Tilapia

3 tbs fresh bread crumbs

Preheat over to 450 degrees. Melt butter over low heat in saucepan. Add mustard, Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice. and mix well Place fish in lightly greased baking pan. Pour sauce over fillets and sprinkle with bread crumbs. Bake for 7-8 minutes.

I also made layered oatmeal-chip cookies tonight for our pot luck dinner tonight. However, I made 30 cookies and while they were cooling, I forgot about them and walked out of the room. My beautiful husky snatched 4-5 of them. Grrrr.

Week Twenty

side note: No I am not crazy, in Indiana, its the BMV standing for Bureau of Motor Vehicles :)


I honestly sat down for the first time in five days last night and even questioned myself if I should really be sitting down and not be doing something else.

In addition to my first week of work my schedule consisted of Pot Luck with the girls on Tuesday, Book Club on Wednesday, Choir Church Concert on Thursday, not to mention my whole Driver's License issue.

I am forever thankful for my boss. She fought the issue with our HR department in California and I sucked it up, paid $50 more dollars, stayed up until 2am on Wednesday completing the online course, and finishing yet another online Driver's Safety course. I just wanted my license reinstated. In seven more days I should be legal once again. I describe the whole situation as just lame, very lame actually.

I am falling into a nice routine which both I and the dogs need and appreciate. I racked up over 25 miles on the rollerblades this week with the puppies. Since the weather reached the 60s all week with sunny skies, I rollerbladed not only at 6:45 every morning, but everyday after work.

I finally started running again and felt pretty good after two short runs. I am going to attempt a long run this weekend and even try my first kickboxing class since bruising my tailbone.

Some more deployment goals:

• Sent my third care package to him full of Gator Golf, my delicious Black Forest cookies, a Spiderman kite, People & US Weekly magazines, baseball gloves + baseball, and two old school DS games (Space Invaders + Command & Destroy).
• Cooking and baking well over three new recipes this month. Besides my Tofu Fried Rice, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and cookies, I am planning to make homemade Salsa, Orange Roughy, bowtie pasta receipe, and and a new chicken recipe all on Sunday for my upcoming work week.

With all the warm weather and rain, I now need to go cut my front and backyard. Wish me luck!

Week Eleven

Well where do I start...

I truly believe I am suffering from blogger's block. And I know exactly why.

About 10 days ago, I decided to "forgo" my newest job opportunity. Its an incredibly long story that I promise to share eventually. I will say I absolutely made the right decision and have no regrets whatsoever. For awhile I found it difficult to blog.

I am back in the interview/resume/application saddle and found some luck. I am on interview #3 with a company, but not sure what will happen next. While I continue my job search related to my major, I am subbing. And let me say, God Bless teachers. I taught elementary all of last week. I never said "Keep your hands to yourself" or "Eyes and ears on me girls and boys" more in my entire life.

This week I am subbing 6th grade English at a local middle school, Monday-Friday. Its like a real job, ha, which I am still adjusting to this new schedule. They actually offered me a long term position to teach that class until the end of the school year. I have until the end of the week to decide.

And let me tell you, my dogs HATE my schedule. I truly believe I trained obedient dogs, but not as of late. Friday afternoon I came home to two very hyper dogs. I immediately changed my clothes and put on my rollerblades. The girls took off so fast that all of a sudden I witnessed both of my legs and rollerblades fly straight into the air and I landed square on my back. I self-diagnosed myself with a bruised tailbone.

Four days later I am still in a ton of pain. I did not go to kickboxing for the first time in 2 months. Instead I lifted and ran two miles at a very slow pace. My darling friend and neighbor brought over her heating pad and let's just say, its my new best friend, even replaced DVR in my life!

I promised myself to take it easy this week, but I am growing more and more frustrated as I realized I am 11 days away from my half-marathon. I do not know what to do.

Besides all the minor drama, I am still feeling good about a lot of things. As I approach the three month mark, I am:

• Still cooking three new meals a month
• Scrapbooking a lot more
• Already reading my second book, a trashy Hollywood novel this month
• Studying a little more for my personal training license
• Involving myself more at my church and still attending every week

Six out of the past seven weekends, my house was filled with visitors. Last weekend my sister and brother-in-law visited. This weekend is no different. His former teammate at WP's wife wants to come check out the area while her husband finishes Ranger School. They plan to move here in May which means another wonderful friend nearby.

Hopefully this ends my blogger's block!

Week Nine

Well I am nine weeks into deployment plus a few days. His mom came down to visit and we mostly shopped and hung out. She bought us a beautiful "early" wedding gift.

His mom, CLR, her friend and I watched "he's just not that into you". Now I am not the best movie critic, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. I thought funny and dead on about many relationship issues. Overall, I loved that she came to visit and check up on me.

This past week might be one of my favorite weeks

• Started scrapbooking finally and now officially addcited with four pages down
• Met with a photographer for possible boudoir photos (oh I said it out loud)
• Wonderful lunch date with Jeni for Valentines
• My best friend delievered a baby girl

And even though its part of my week ten update, CLR did decide to join me for kickboxing. She is going to regret it tomorrow, but I cannot wait to get her addicted as well :)

I am still taking questions for my 100th post. Tomorrow I promise to start answering!

Week Eight

Oh yes, another month down. Not another week, but another month. I convinced myself the other day if I make it through the ugly months of January, February, and March time will really start flying, especially during the summer. Tonight I left my back door open and just enjoyed the smell of warmth.

• Read The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. I decided to switch over to a more academic book and boy did it take me awhile to read. I love Gladwell though. I read his previous two books (The Tipping Point and Blink) and he makes me want to become a business/communications professor because his findings fascinate me. However, next month I go back to suspenseful, sometimes trashy fiction where I escape from my reality.



• Cooked three new menu items: Paprika Chicken, Ravioli with Sun Dried Tomatoes, and a Beer Cheddar Cheese dip for a Super Bowl party and also cooked for the boys.



• Ran outside for the first time since October. I made the mistake of taking Dakota who stopped several times for no reason other than to express to me her stubbornness



• Switched back to my original church here and finally involved myself in the congregation. I volunteered to host a few members of a choir traveling here for a weekend stay in March

• Found a painter to give me a pretty good estimate to paint the rest of the living room and other guest room

My parents drove down to visit me yet again. I know I am incredibly spoiled. My dad already washed both cars. We visited Nashville and I found the place where I want to get married

I dream of a southern plantation wedding and above is the historic mansion where it might just come true. It received some buzz because Taylor Swift did a photo shoot on this same swing below.




I do not know about you, but I think I look better minus the make-up, beautiful dress, and overall glowing beauty.

Week Seven

Oh this morning...not one of my better mornings.

I woke up deciding I wanted a few things:

-Longer hair
-A tan
-More episodes of Criminal Minds
-Summer
-My best friend and better half laying next to me
-Be more girly (actually paint my nails, own make-up, curl my hair more)
-My running partner from Chicago to move here and start training with me

Since I do not have ANY of the above, I manged to pout a little and open up the infamous Ben & Jerry's pint of ice cream. I took 2 bites, sealed it up, put it back in the refridgerator, and realized ice cream could not solve all of my "issues" (gasp)

::Enter Super Jeni::

I will refer to her by this name from here on out in my blog. She called mid-pouting and asked me to join her for lunch and a day of shopping. Needless to say, I am back on the content train.

And yes, we are another week down!

In my seventh week, I manged to accomplish a few things:

-Registered for a different Nashville Half-Marathon in March (not April)
-Completed my highest distance weekly total, including a 6-miler tonight
-Cooked a delicious chicken receipe for our weekly potluck
-Found a job
-Sent his best friend a birthday care package
-Tried a new church this past Sunday
-Started a book by my favorite author, Malcolm Gladwell

So this week, I will hustle to try and complete a few more of my monthly goals before I knock off another stupid month of this stupid deployment.

I swear I am still positive :)

One more thing...

Keeping up with my deployment goals, I sent my second care package on 20 January. I wanted to share what I sent. I feel it is only fair since I love reading what Kristen at Steady As We Go sends her husband. And I often steal her ideas :)

I created a "Thing I know you miss back at home" and it contained the following:

muddy paws - The girls always bring mud inside the house so I stamped the inside of the box with their paw prints

stuffed husky & rotweiller - Obviously he misses the girls


People magazine- I love this magazine and although he thinks I waste money, I always catch him reading it or looking at the pictures

The Book of Us- We already filled this one out a few years back, but I thought it would be cute for him to go back and read the answers

Slingbox software- It works here, I just hope it will work over there so he can watch his favorite shows.

Mixed CD- I filled the CD with Rockband songs and songs from our favorite shows. I know he misses playing Rockband. And oh yeah, a few that I use to belt out singing in the shower while getting ready together.

Cookies- I am slowly learning to cook, but he already loves my baking

Oceanspray Crasins- To remind him of our grocery shopping trips. These were always on the list.

USAA Debit Card- It finally came in the mail, so I attached a note saying, "I know you miss spending money on me" Ha.

Marley & Me- He says he misses the craziness of the dogs, this book suited our craziness perfectly

Penn State Shirt- He HATES when I steal his clothes and wear them, so I wore his favorite shirt each time I stepped out of the shower for 3 weeks. I sealed it in a ziplock bag to hopefully keep my scent and let him know that I am still stealing his clothes.


Last time he received his package in 6 days during the Christmas holidays, I am anxious for him to receive this one. He and the guys say receiving packages definitely lift their spirts, so I love putting them together for him.

Week Six

And my gift for surviving six weeks of deployment...a nasty cold, soar throat and overall lethargic mood. Luckily my cousin stopped by to visit with me this weekend since she worked only an hour from my house this entire week, otherwise I would still be in bed. She took me to my favorite restaurant, bought my favorite bottle of wine, and brought goodies for Dakota and Daisy.

This week I did a few more productive things. I hosted my first game night on Thursday and started/arranged a weekly pot luck dinner with a few of my girlfriends whose husbands left around the same time. This will hopefully encourage cooking and discourage chips and salsa.

And in other accomplishments, I have yet to miss a kickboxing class in the last month, still feel sore after every class, and get this, I managed to develop a firm, rounder, rear end. Thanks to my mother's genes, the dairy air simply does not exist with the girls in our family, but it does now for me.

Week Four

Yes my friends, another week bites the dust which brings my grand total to ONE MONTH!

And to celebrate, I joined some of my favorite ladies for wine and hibachi tonight.

You can also follow along as Lynne (far right) blogs about how early detection save lives, including hers :)

Sometimes I do not know where I would be without Destiny and Lynne. Tonight we discussed our bucket list for 2009. Obviously one of my mine was to continue with my deployment goals.

Let's see how I did in the first month:

• My run total is on the rise. 22 miles since he left. Thanks to the wonderful D.A.R. I definitely stole her idea on her tracking device on the left side of my blog.
• Finished Beach House by Jane Green which means I read 3 books, Marley & Me, Shopaholic & Baby and Beach House this month. 2 more than I wanted to read!
• Cooked 3 new things this month including a Penne Vodka, Sweet Potato Salad, and some delicious peanut butter cookies for my cookie exchange party hosted by the wonderful MG.
• Few leads on the job front and hope to make decisions by the end of this month
• Attended a wonderful church service last Sunday
• Game night...definitely happening next week.
• Daisy did not jump on Destiny tonight, again, holding her down, but progress!
• Sent a care package on 20 Dec and very excited for my "Things You Miss at Home" care package, almost ready to go that I will send out 20 Jan

I did not cook for the boys yet with block leave and the holidays, but we have plans for next week.

I love spending time with my friends here. For never having a good group of girlfriends my entire life, I feel like I missed out on fun, but know I am making up for it now.

Week Three

Another garbage day....another week down! Terrible correlation I know.

This might be my most productive week yet! Update on my goals:

• Started running this week on the treadmill and my grand total = 6 miles
• Created my full resume. I swear I did everything under the sun in college and worked for two companies last year. Now I can add/delete according to which job I will apply to
• Cooked my new dish tonight and invited Jeni and her kids as my guinea pigs. And since I did not like the Penne Vodka in my cookbook, I stole D.A.R.'s recipe...delicious :)
• Downloaded Quicken to my new computer
• Finished Marley & Me and started and now half-way through The Beach House by Jane Green for my book club here this month
• Daisy did not jump on my guests tonight! Mostly because I pinned her down until she calmly sat like the beautiful, sweet husky I know, but hey, whatever works.
• I missed church this week. As I began to walk out the door, Dave showed up on Skype. A tough decision, but I ended up talking to him for a whole 20 minutes on the webcam.
• Drum roll please... I already syncronized my Wii-Fit, changed a light bulb, set up my Slinbox, figured out how to work our video camera to tape the puppies, and finally learned how to work the thermostat in my house (pathetic I know). All of these combined should at least equal 1 big girl moment, ha!

So far so good, minus missing church. I really feel this week flew by and a large part can be accredited to working on my deployment goals.

Also, I am thrilled to be back in full swing at the gym. I love, love, love working out, but because of the chaos over the last month or so, working out moved to the bottom of the priority list.

Two Weeks Down!

I came running down the stairs this morning to find my parents eating breakfast and like a little kid, I said, "Guess what, guess what?". They of course replied with a confused, "What?". I then said with great enthusiasm, "Only 50 more weeks to go! I made it 2 weeks already!". They shook their heads at me and smiled.

Hey, the glass is always half-full, right?

This past week:

• Still eagerly reading Marley & Me and hope to be done by the end of the weekend
• Started eliptical training this week, which will turn into running very soon
• Attended the church that I grew up with and went to school at for 8 years while home
• CHOPPED 7 inches off my hair!
• Care package safely arrived to him with cookies still tasting delicous
• Survived Christmas :)

I enjoyed a wonderful Christmas with both my family and his family and received amazing gifts.

In the past 2 weeks, I have also found comfort in my daily emails to him. I label the subject of all of my emails with the number of days until he returns. Today will read 351. I keep an index card in my purse at all times and write down my daily happenings as they occur, otherwise I am afraid I will forget something at the end of the night when I finally sit down to type.

Before he deployed, I created a contact list through my email of his parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, old football coaches, classmates, etc. I sent 2 emails already updating everyone on his address and overall process and will continue to do so in the next 12 months. The responses I received warm my heart. His family and friends have completely rallied behind me for his deployment.

Lately I found support in the most unusual places and that is not a bad thing and only reinforces how blessed I truly am with the people in my life.

Week One

As I pulled the garbage can to the curb this morning, I suddenly remembered doing it the day he left, exactly a week ago. And in my glass half full moment, time kind of flew by...

Even though I am only 7 days into my goal list, I feel I did accomplish a few things:

• Care package full of a few TV shows on DVDs, Christmas cookies from Megan's' wonderful cookie exchange party tonight, card, gum, power bars, and his favorite hat, is ready to be sent out tomorrow morning, December 20th.
• I am really enjoying "Marley & Me" and might have found a book club here in Clarksville!
• His mom and sister joined me at Church on Sunday and I attended their Wednesday' Advent Service. The pastor's wife actually introduced herself and we chatted for a good 20 minutes.

Another goal I did not mention, but I intend to throw myself into in the next year, is stopping Daisy from jumping on people when they walk into the door...so annoying! I blame this bad habit solely on him.

My week consisted of a few lunches with some pretty amazing women. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful support system here where I am actually excited to hang out and get to know them bettter in the next 12 months.

Hold me to them...

I wrote these down on a scrap piece of paper quite some time ago. I figure once I publish them online, they become real. My goals for the next 12 months.

Find a Job
Here is the obvious one. We don't care about the pay, just my sanity.

Start a blog
My best friend from college and I plan on starting a blog about my passion, sports.

Run the Nashville Half-Marathon

Run the Chicago Marathon
Thats right, 26.2 miles. I use to love running in college. And Chicago is the easiest course in the country.

Complete my personal trainer's license

LEARN HOW TO SEW!
I want to sew all of my and his college shirts into a blanket. Any advice?

Finish my scrapbook
I scrapbooked our first 5 years together, now I need to work on the next 4 years.

Host game night once a month for my wonderful friends here
I got Wii Fit for Christmas, Rockband 2, and not to mention every board game under the sun :)

Cook for the boys once a month.
We have a few friends from WP here and they promised to take care of me, its the least I can do

Cook three new things a month

Use Quicken to budget

Read 1 new book a month
I already started Marley and Me, apparently I need to read the book before the movie comes out. I also been flirting with starting a book club online. I would love to discuss some of the books I read

Send a package on the 20th on every month.

Accomplish at least 5 "big girl things" in the next 12 months
Pretty much everything He or my dad did for me all my life

Decorate the living room and guest room
Only two rooms left to decorate in our house, not bad.

Church every Sunday
Already went this Sunday with his mom and sister.

Landscape
I really need to dig up some ugly rocks in our front and backyard in the Spring

In general, I really would like to pay more attention to detail. He is my detail-orientated one and I always depend on him for that kind of stuff. I guess I need to do it all by myself this year.

Also, I learned throughout my life that I am constantly surrounded my so many talented people. For example, I feel just in my blog community there are so many women doing so many wonderful things. I really hope to embrace what I am good at in the next year.