Running back to my bubble

My weekend was full of culture, family, and laughs. My best friend got married this weekend.

I met Janette in 4th grade. She was the new girl. Years later we talked about her struggles and being a curly hair Puerto Rican in an all white private school. Even at 9 years, I considered myself the social director, so my bubbly blond self was the first one to say hi.

The rest is history.

From basketball camps to 3am Monopoly games, to this day, I've never laughed as hard as I did with her. Her family became my family and vice versa. When my grandfather passed, my parents went to California for two weeks and I stayed with her family.

I argued with her dad about the remote control, fought with her older sister, and was chased down by her mother screaming at me in Spanish.

She moved to Florida before high school and we still managed to see each other twice a year. When I use to spend my Spring Breaks at their house, her dad would wake us up by singing to us in Spanish as loudly as possible until we started throwing pillows at him. Lately with our careers, we talk less and less, but Net and I hated the phone.

Her mother picked me up from the airport and took me to their house. While walking into their house, I noticed Net yelling at someone on the phone. I walked to the refrigerator, took out two things of string cheese, opened both of them and handed her one. She smiled and ate it immediately. All of this before she even said hi to me.

I tell people I think we might be twins separated at birth.

All weekend, I did everything for her. Many times I called her a crazy Bridezilla bitch and that if she gets married again, don't ask me to be a bridesmaid. She would laugh, give me a big obnoxious hug and tell me she loves me.

Its the best feeling in the world, being needed by your best friend and in return helping her out. There were eight bridesmaids, but she always yelled my name. Right before the father-daughter dance, I heard the groomsmen yelling that she was again calling for me. I had to busel her dress before she went out on the dance floor.

My entire weekend could be summed up in one picture and one sentence.

Janette wanted to go into the bathroom to have the hairdresser fix her hair, but didn't want her dress to drag on the floor. In my silver heels and pink dress, I squatted behind her holding her dress up.

Her sister snapped a picture.

And before we left for the wedding, we needed to pack the car. Janette went to grab a box and Lillie (her mom) said, "Don't take that one, let Courtney, it's too heavy" We all immediately started laughing.

After the reception, while she rested her feet on my lap and people came up to us to tell her good-bye, we started talking babies. I told her she was going to have beautiful babies and she in return informed me that I am already the Godmother for their first baby.

One of the best feelings...

I truly had a wonderful time at the wedding. The bridal party mixed so well together and shared a lot of laughs.

Today I could not wait to get back to my bubble.

Of course during the wedding, you see so many couples happy and in love. Followed by the "How are you". And then "Aw, deployment?" and a "When did he leave/when does he return?" and a "How are you handling it".

Every once in awhile I do not mind, but I love that I do not feel alone here, I have some amazing women her who keep me company. My good friend and I came to a realization we kind of live in a bubble where everyone understands.

And that is OK with me. I like my military bubble. I feel safe in it.

Second Class Citizen?

It all started this morning.

He passed Pathfinder and the graduation ceremony was going to take place this morning. I told him last night I wanted to go with him onto post, since I am still a civilian in their eyes.

He said I should be fine.

Now as we approach on deployment, I am worrying about getting onto post, getting information, etc. He is my best friend and I tell him everything, but I never told him this.

I drive to Gate 4 to get my guest pass and notice the line is out the door. Here I thought 40 minutes would be plenty of time to get my guest pass. Well with people cutting in front of me and the ladies behind the counter goofing off and looking at cell phone pictures, I ended up being 10 minutes late.



The poor guy at the gate who inspects the car just let me go and told me I would be OK. I could not stop crying, I just let it all out.

I stopped when I walked up to the building. He walked out and I just lost it. I started crying and swearing. To sum up my conversation I just said, "After 8 and a half years of dealing with crap, I am nobody to the Army so I might as well be nobody to you. Why am I living in an Army town and am a nobody". Luckily he was the only one to notice my breakdown.

I missed his graduation. I missed the pinning and to put icing on the cake, he informed me he was the honor grad in his class. I wanted to be there so bad.

I just continued to cry and cry. He was incredibly sweet. I eventually calmed down after we arrived home and he made me lunch. I have no idea why I cried. I am usually strong and make cracks when it comes to our situation.

Sometimes it just gets to me after all these years, I feel like a second class citizen.

The worst part, my eyes hurt so bad, still after 7+ hours.