Swoon

Its been awhile since my last school girl crush, but tonight I realized I might be falling for someone...Kiptyn from the Bachelorette.

Now maybe its because its been almost seven months since I have last seen my love or maybe its the magical dates on the show, but right now I am trying to devise a plan...

I need to convince the love of my life while we are in San Diego over R&R to find (hunt him down more or less) Kiptyn and confess my love to him.

I think he'll be down with it.

Embrace it.

I honestly think I have been in denial for the past 8 years.

After a year of dating, at the mere ol' age of 15, my boyfriend told me he wanted to attend WP. I grabbed everything I could get my hands onto that pertained to this place. I wanted to know every detail about it.

I joined a girlfriends site. I began reading posts of finding careers and majors suitable for the "Army Wife". This horrifed me. I grew up wanting the corner office or a successful career as a broadcasting major. I ignorantly thought, "I will never give up on my career".

I graduated in 2007 with honors and a double major in Business Management and Speech Communications. In my college career, I ran a radio station, landed an internship at CBS Sports in New York City, received numerous leadership awards, and particpated in every college organization under the sun. It paid off. I was offered a Vice President position at an up and coming Youth Sports Organization.

I was living the dream....Until I realized something exactly one year ago today.

I worked hard for four years in college and a year and a half at a job I loved. However, I pushed away the one thing I worked even harder at for an even longer period of time. My relationship with him.

I had THAT love. You know the love you daydream about during class or swoon over during movies wishing you fond someone like they did. Well I found him. And I almost lost him.

ONE year ago today, I realized something needed to give. The long distance after 8+ years was wearing on both of us. Our stubborness slowly started to wear. On July 6th I told him God had a plan for us. July 9th I quit my job. July 11th, I packed up my stuff and moved here.

Not one second of one day since then have I regretted my decision. I have never been happier.

Well...minus the career. You know the career I swore up and down I would never give up on. The career I wanted more than anything. The career where I almost lost my best friend, my soulmate...and yes...my now husband.

I have made myself sick pining over a job, thinking it would magically solve all of my problems. I jumped into a job that was a teeny, tiny bit related to my major.

The past few weeks, I have been hanging out with two amazing Army Wives, MG and Kate. I do not think they complain any less during deployment, know any more about the Army, etc. I think they are amazing because they embrace this lifestyle. They handle it with class, laughter, and kindness. They do not deny the Army. They do not compete with other wives by either saying, thinking, or knowing they handle this lifestyle better. They just live this life...the life God choose for them.

So today, tomorrow, and everyday after...I am going to embrace my life as an Army Wife. And my career? Well I've been told I have an entrepreneurial spirit (one of the best compliements) and I am a firm believer in if you want something done...do it yourself. For the past week I have begun a plan to open up my own business that will cater to my needs, his needs and most importantly our needs.

"Get busy living...or get busy dying"- Shawshank Redemption

The good (sore) life.

Today I realized I did some kind of workout for 15 straight days. If I wasn't doing a P90X workout, I ran or did some kind of light cardio. While doing my leg & back workout this morning, I felt my body screaming for a day off. So tomorrow I promised my body I will take a day off.

How do I know this program works:

1) I ran 4 miles yesterday, no problem, with only running 4 total miles in the previous 4 months.
2) I tested my body fat at the gym on Wednesday...16.3%! And I feel like bragging a little because I tested this many times before and no matter what kind of shape I was in (running half marathons, kickboxing, pilates) I have never been this low. The trainer at the gym wants to test me again in 6 weeks when I am done with the 90 day progam. She and I both wished I would have tested before I started.

Katie, my little Doctor of Physical Therapy in training, stretched me out this evening. I cannot even begin to tell you how badly I needed a good stretching and how amazing it felt.

After a good stretch, long bath, and glass of wine...I am feeling very relaxed. Life is good.

The real deal

From the beginning I refused to follow the infamous "Donut of Misery" the first half of this deployment. Seeing such a small percentage would probably depress me.

However, while looking at my calendar today I noticed I am six weeks away from R&R. To make it even more real...tonight I received an email from my best friend and love of my life.

The email? An itinerary for the two of us. We're heading to Coronado (San Diego) for four days.

It is finally starting to feel real. And you bet your little butt I am very much excited!

Life of leisure

Day 6 with no AC...Also in those 6 days, the temperatures have not fallen below 93 during the day. We decided to head home for a whooping 30 hours to get a break from the heat. When we walked into the house last night, I wanted to pass out. We decided something needed to be done or Katie and I were not going to sleep.

We camped out in the kitchen.

I said to him today, "For someone not working, I should be living a life of leisure by the pool, drinking cocktails". I am into day 11 of not working and to be honest, I cannot even imagine working during this chaos called my life right now. I have been on the phone with everyone.

I need to go through this one AC place because of our home warranty (its a $100 deductible vs the $500 deductible through homeowners). Well I left 5 messages since Wednesday and still no "appointment scheduled". After a phone conversation with my love, we decided to spend the additionaly $400 and have it done our way.

I really enjoyed my day and a half home. I attended church with his dad and the sermon was based on this bible verse:

Now a great windstorm developed and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was nearly swamped. But he was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. They woke him up and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care that we are about to die?”So he got up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Be quiet! Calm down!” Then the wind stopped, and it was dead calm. And he said to them, “Why are you cowardly? Do you still not have faith?” They were overwhelmed by fear and said to one another, “Who then is this? Even the wind and sea obey him!”

I love walking into church and feeling the sermon fits perfectly with the events happening in your life. The pastor spoke about different "storms" in one's life.

Rough life.

New career choice?

Today, Katie walks in after a long day and looks at me stares. She asks about the glass of Diet Coke in my hand...."Are you drinking already". She looks at me again, laughs...

Keep in mind I had a long day with no progress in fixing the AC and picture this:

I am only wearing a boy's t-shirt, underwear, and my earrings I forgot to take off from earlier errands. I finally went out and got a style and hair cut so my hair is looking pretty good for the first time in awhile.

She continues to laugh and says "You look like a desperate housewife right now"

I looked in the mirror, laughed, and agreed.

Hot in here.

Today reached 94 degrees. Not fun considering the AC did not work. I also found out today I need to replace my entire air conditioning unit. Ah, lightning struck somewhere it shouldn't have and messed up our circuit board.

So even though I break a sweat standing and walking in my house, there are many things I found I am grateful for over the past few days.

1) The FURiminator

Actual FURminator session with a Siberian Husky:

Seriously, where have you been all my life, or at least the past 10 months?! I decided to share this particular picture because that dog is seriously Daisy's twin. I am not saying I do not have hair in my house, but the amount of hair that finds the garbage can instead of my clothes, couches, and even vacuum cleaner makes me a lot happier.

2) Carpet Cleaners- Even through the revolving door of electricians and AC repair men today, I still managed to clean my carpets. I love the feeling of cleaning carpets.

3) P90X- Yesterday I decided to take my workout to the gym. I filled my notebook up with all the necessary exercises. I did a 40 minute workout and managed to belt out 120 push-ups in that workout. My favorite comment coming from the sterotypical "meathead", "Whoa, that seemed like an intense workout".

I feel my body getting so much stronger and I absolutely love it. While I may not be able to run like I use to ( I did get in a 1 mile run), I am loving the changes I see in my arms, stomach, and even back.

4) His sister- I love having her around. I, of course, got her on board with P90X so its nice to have a workout partner not to mention we take turns making dinner so its nice to always have a cooked, healthy meal.

Why I dislike deployment.

Today I lost power. When I walked in the door my house alarm would not stop going off. Every 2 minutes I needed to get up, punch in the code and turn it off.

My AC is digital and I cannot see the screen.

My garage door will not open.

I already took care of the alarm. Garage door and AC are on tomorrow's agenda. I will take care of these things, but I do not think I am good at it, nor do I like doing this.

He is much better at this kind of stuff.

I think I am done pouting for today.

Whats meant to be...

Last week Monday, I called his father seeking some advice. I could not take the mounting pressure at work. I felt this job started to affect my health and my sleep.

On Tuesday I ran into my "deployment grandfather". He said God would give me a sign.

On Wednesday I walked into my office after an extremely long day of meetings and driving. My boss began to question my motivation towards the very random contest among the NC and TN markets. I probably wasn't all that into the contest because I was more worried about closing accounts and gaining clients.

On Thursday morning I signed onto my email account at 6:30am and read "Account has been disabled". I called my boss and with tears in her eyes, she confirmed.

I lost my job. I knew going into it, this job would be nothing short of an uphill battle. Our business is a luxary. A luxary that depends a lot on the automotive industry.

Right now I am just trying to put my career pieces back together and figure out the million dollar question....What do I want to do next. I hate failing. My (former) boss told me I did not fail and there was nothing I could do. I picked up a beautiful recommendation letter from her today.

I do know I am forever blessed with everything else in my life, so if this will be my only set back for the time being. I am ok with it.

What is cilantro?!

I do have to admit since he deployed, I am quite proud of myself and my adventures and sometimes misadventures in the kitchen.

I laughed today as I used my garlic press and chopped up the cilantro. Mostly because a year ago, I did not even know what this stuff looked like or that Kitchen Aid dedicated and developed a kitchen utensil soley for its purpose.

Paying a decent amount for P90X, I now believe it was worth every penny, especially for some of these receipes. I used four of them already and loved all four of them.

Tonight I invited Barrett over for vegetable soup and we both agreed it tasted great and bonus...its actually healthy for you!

Recipe:

10 cups of chicken broth, low sodium
4 red potatoes
4 cups of onions, quartered
1 cup of carrots, sliced 1 inch thick
2 cups of zucchini, sliced 1 inch thick
8 oz can of tomato sauce
2 cloves of garlic
1/4 bunch of cilantro, chopped
dash black pepper

I definitely recommend it.