I called my best friend from college, Wayne, who has always supported me in pretty much every decision I have ever made. He just sat there in silence. He asked me what had happened with Jon. I told him, he would never be Dave. He never said, I'm happy for you. He simply said, "Well you either crazy now or you were crazy for the past 4 months".
And now I find myself in this TERRIBLE "in between phase" where my friends, through him, still don't trust me, my closest friends are sitting back, going, we'll see what happens next.
I've honestly never been happier, but have never, ever felt more alone. I'm back home, trying to get everything settled (dentist appointments, car insurance, etc.). It doesn't help he's in TN working and it's just Dakota and I. I have given him such attitude the past couple of days.
This is the longest I have not worked since I was 13 years old. I hate it. I think that is the thing I always loved about me was I had "purpose" which was either my college career or my job. Now I have neither.
I submitted 2 applications online on monster.com to work in Nashville on Sunday and they called me Monday morning. I have interviews at both places next week.
I also applied for a job at the local University. It's 15 minutes from our house and I would be working in their athletic department. Based on what they are looking for, I do feel I am perfect for the job and am desperately waiting to hear back from them.
How can I hate and love where I am at, at the same time?
It's amazing how I feel I can take a deep exhale after I let it all out....
6 comments:
courtney! i am sosososo happy you're on here.. maybe you'll start updating a bit more :) Anyhow - your house is absolutely gorgeous! oh my goodness i am jealous!
I was thinking of your post and what your friend said and i totally think you were "crazy" (or whatever) then (during the 4 months) but that's what it's all about... you live, you learn.
congrats on the house
Yay!! Welcome to the blog world :) Don't listen to what other people say...you are amazing and obviously following your heart. Good luck with the job search, I'm sure something perfect will come along!
Your house is amaaaaaazing!
Court!!! I'm SO excited you're on here! I'll drop you an email soon but I wanted to say hi and say that I LOVE the pictures of the house you guys are getting, I'm so excited for you!
I think it is awesome that you are following your heart. That said, I know it is really hard not to doubt yourself. Just hang in there, you know what it right and it will work out!
The house is beautiful! Congratulations!
Hey lady! Congrats on the house!!
And honestly, it's normal that both sides are going to be a little weird as you and Dave ease back into things. But your true friends will be happy for you regardless of what they may have felt before.
Love ya!
Following your heart is never easy! At least that's what those who do it always say. But the outcome will be worth the struggles you'll encounter. I'm so glad you're back online and hopefully you can use this as a place to vent (supposedly journaling/blogging helps combat stress!). Good luck with the changes & good luck at your interviews!
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