We do not fight or argue much about big things. Now do not get me wrong, we have our fair share of bickering and eye rolling, but the tone of our relationship is laughter.
Our upcoming "wedding" in August might be the death of us. So much so that at the dinner table at Christmas, I told his family it was not happening.
We share our opinions on everything. We discuss everything.
When I ask him about invitiations or pretty much anything, his response, "I do not want to talk about it now". When I told him our wedding budget would run around $12,000, he almost fell off his chair. And actually did fall off his chair when I told him they consider this "cheap" these days.
After telling his family and my family that I didn't want a wedding because I do not want to either 1) kill him or 2) divorce him, I become convinced it would not happen.
His mom took the afternoon off of work and asked me to run a few errands. She took me to a bridal boutique to try on dresses and a stationary place to look through invitations. She told me she wanted to help out anyway she could money wise, decoration wise, anything wise.
She said, "I wanted your heart to smile again in regards to your wedding day".
I am beginning to realize he will not have much of an opinion in regards to our wedding and I am ok with it. However, tonight I mentioned no need for a honeymoon and he chimed in that he wanted to go somewhere and he would want to take care of that.
Looks like the show will go on afterall, but it will be a long seven months.
14 comments:
I know quite a few couples that were on the verge of breaking up while planning their wedding.
I commend you for doing your wedding with a $12K budget. A friend of mine is trying to do it for under 8K...and still invite almost 200 people. Hahaha!
I hope that your wedding is everything that you want it to be...and EVERYTHING that you truly deserve.
Wedding planning may not be hubby's cup of tea - but it will be a day that he will never forget. :-)
I feel your pain... the planning has been hard on us too. I thought I was finally putting it all behind me, and here I am having to do it again. :/ We have fought over this a lot too... and he didn't save nearly enough because no matter how much I told him about what it would cost, he just couldn't fathom it actually costing that much... and ours is/was cheap by modern standards as well... so no honeymoon for us, yet.
Ooooh, I hated wedding planning! I let my mom and other people do the whole thing. Him? Uh...all he wanted was "Don't Stop Believin'" played by a string quartet just before I walked down the aisle! haha
You may find this hard to believe, but I never consulted C on any of the wedding details, ha! I knew the big things that were important to him (Open Bar)but other than that, I did everything...and I loved it!
Seriously, it never even dawned on me to show C invitation options. Guys just really are not into those things. I'm glad his mom was able to take you out for the day. If I were still there, I would be eating all of this up!
Matt and I got along pretty well through the whole planning bit -- we just went through the whole mantra of "it is just a day."
With that said, Matt told me this gem of advice -- he didn't care about anything unless it a. "touched his body" (aka boutonniere, suit, etc) or b. was about the music/DJ. Everything else I told him about and whatnot, but knew not to expect more than an "ok" or "cool" in response! :)
oh! and c. the bar. :) hahah
Aw, I'm glad his mom took you out like that! Jon wasn't that into wedding stuff either. I would narrow things down to 1-3 options and ask his opinion but he'd usually just say "whatever you think would look best" :-) I'd try to cut corners where you could too, to help on cost. One of my friends did the save-the-date design and the invitations so we only had to pay for the cost of the magnets and the paper. Let me know if you have any wedding questions though, seriously. Ours wound up a little less than I had estimated, cost-wise and I cut a lot of corners!
I'm sure everything will work out just fine! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas minus his chair falling incident lol
Wedding planning can definitely be a test of wills, especially if you have too many opinions or too few and expected more. We've only just gotten better at making decisions on things together. Hopefully this starts to get fun for you guys again.
You have just described the exact reason that I pulled the plug on the "traditional" wedding, and ran away to Savannah for the weekend. I hated the idea of spending tons of money on something that was making us both miserable.
That said, part of me was still sad it didn't work out, it is wonderful to have a day with both sides of the family and all your friends together. It sounds like you have some good moral support in your MIL, and a good attitude -- you will pull it off spectacularly. :-D
What a sweet MIL you have!
I am looking forward to some wedding posts. I used to work in sales in a Hilton property and love wedding stuff.
hey girl! For some reasons planning a wedding can be stressful but just try to enjoy every moment! Miss you girl!
Good luck with everything! "Luckily" my hubs wasn't around much for our planning, so it was pretty much my show. Easy peasy. And we kept a great budget, I think we managed everything for like 7,000, and it was GREAT! It can be done!!!
Have fun!
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