College Days

I know everyone misses college at some point in their lives. I never thought I would miss it the way I do now. I was never the party girl. Actually, I went out to the bars 5 times in 4 years.

I think I miss the opportunities and the resources.

I loved my experiences at the radio station, in student government, and as a resident assistant.

We, as a whole, were constantly trying to help other people including soldier drives, food drives, raking leaves for the elderly, blood drives, etc.

I miss that part of me. The one who use to get out and help as much as possible. Who was so busy, I would eventually get to my school work at 12am.

That being said...

I'm really trying to jump start a Yoplait Lid Drive.

Everyone knows someone who has or had breast cancer. I find it so amazing how people are affected not only by breast cancer, but by cancer in general.

It's a pretty cool website:

http://www.yoplait.com/slsl/

And luckily David and I love this kind of yogurt, so it's a win-win situation.

Randomness

For the past 30 days, not a day has gone by where I look at him and think to myself, how in the hell am I going to survive without him.

Today as we were eating the bottom crumbs of tortilla chips, I was bragging about the size of my chip. So what did he do? He broke it and began laughing.



His parents arrived late Friday night. They actually stayed in our guest room, which is very unlike them. They really liked the inside of our house, which made me happy.

On Friday, I noticed blood on Dakota's paw. An infected dewclaw. His dad and I were both up early on Saturday morning and decided to take her to the vet. $3oo later, she was running around in the backyard trying to eat Daisy.

We did a ton of yardwork this weekend. I can't wait for spring where I can actually start working on the landscaping out front.

I just looked down at my white/black husky and noticed her white is now a dirt-brown from playing outside all weekend long. I guess this is my cue to give her a bath.

Big Picture

...and the toliet broke. Not to mention no groceries in our entire house.

I called my mom. She seemed down. I asked her if she was ok. Her two best friends in the entire world, Sharon and Lynne.

Sharon's mom passed away 6 days ago and they found out yesterday that her husband's tumor is cancerous.

Lynne's mom was brutally shot and killed 17 years ago. They released her killer on parole on Monday.

I'll take a sore back and leaky puppy anyday.



Sidenote: As a result of no groceries. I ate frozen cheesecake for breakfast.

Insanity

The house is a mess since we have been away for the past 10 days.

Daisy now has a urinary tract infection similiar to the one Dakota has.

I fell down the stairs this morning.

His parents arrive tomorrow.

Bi-Partisan?

I don't know why I even turn this TV show on sometimes...it's almost like I want to catch a glimpse of its ulitmate downfall.

The View.

And oh my goodness, Elizabeth Hassleback might be the most annoying human being on the face of the earth. I don't care if she is obviously very conservative, big deal, but she gets do darn defensive and it just makes her look bad.

But maybe the show not only wants this, but encourages it.

:End Rant:

The ghost of our past

Can you get to your future if your past is still present?

-Carrie Bradshaw

Everyone has a ghosts from their past that haunts them, right?

Typically, the beauty of being in a relationship for 8+ years is lack of baggage (i.e. ex-girlfriends, secrets, unfamiliar friends). The not so "beauty" for us is our little hiatus for 3 months which included a so called "ex" for each of us.

He has training down at Rucker for 12 days and lucky for me, I am able to be with him during this time. However, "her" presence haunts me down here. I have not seen her, but it tears at me just a little as I drive around this town. I hate that part of his life because I feel we let each other down as a couple and were not our true selves. I hate his memories without me here, only 3 months, cover up nearly 21 months of our memories together at his old house. Does this sound absurd?

I should not and will not be intimidated by her. I am better than that I know, actually we are better than that. I am not saying I am better than her, we fit together more perfectly. We are planning a future together and I have never been happier.

That being said, since I arrived here, I have been having the most vivid, crazy dreams about my "ex". I wake up totally freaked out and then smile as I wake up and see him peacefully sleeping next to me.

I feel the lack of closure in both of our previous relationships contributes to these ghosts. Getting back together was so all of a sudden that both of us failed to really end our other relationships. I also use the term "relationship" loosely.

Maybe it is a blessing I am down here, I feel I am confronting this head on. Maybe baggage will actually make us stronger. I hope writing it all down will help too.

Reality Check

My best friend from grade school called me this morning. She is getting married in April.

While we chatted away, Dave's deployment came up in conversation. I looked at my calendar and realized we're about 2 months out.

Time moves so fast sometimes.