Reminisce

Tonight while searching through websites and emails, I came across my first blog. Its crazy to think I started a blog five years ago to vent about college and him. I wrote for me. No one read it. I just loved writing my thoughts and feelings down.

I took a little trip down memory lane and came across a passage in July, 2004. I find it ironic the things I wrote about then and how not too much has changed. I took a trip with his dad to visit him one weekend in Airborne School.

5 years ago and we had already been together for 4 years at this point:

Fort Benning, Georgia will definitely be a trip to remember. Here's my experience and thoughts.

We got there safely Friday afternoon after a flat tire in Atlanta. Thankfully when we got off, one mile later was a tire shop. *HE said he would be ready anywhere between 5-6pm. So I unpacked some of my things at the hotel and we left to head to the base 10 miles away.

We arrived on base at 5:30ish. And of course, like a typical Army girlfriend, I waited and waited. His dad let me drive the car around the base and he sat all the way in the back. (What a nerd :) I spotted *HIM marching with his company, which by the way, when everyone looks the same, I am SOOOO good at spotting the kid, his parents call it a special talent.

His dad wanted to walk around and I wanted to sit in the AC. So we parked across from his barracks and I sat in the car. First of all, I saw a lot of beautiful boys there. If I was single, I would just park my car outside the barracks like I was doing. I mean nobody compares to *HIM. Of course all of them have to be in good shape, but I saw close to 50 men leaving base for the weekend.

I was sitting there for about an hour and I started thinking. Can I handle this? I mean this whole military thing. It's not like me at all to think ahead. I am a firm believe in taking one day at a time. But with all of what's going on, you really can't avoid it. I remember his dad beforehand completely joking around about being patient. Patient? I think I can show you patience...

In the past three years I have:
*Spent 156 hours in the car driving back and forth visiting
*Waited over 15 hours on either WP, Fort Knox, or Fort Benning's base.
*Made three $300 roundtrip flights from Chicago to Stewart, NY.
*Had my flight delayed two of those three times.
*Waited weeks for letters or phone calls.
*Spent at least $50 in postage.
*Prepared myself for his deployment to Iraq
*Read close to 10,000 emails about girls going through the same thing
*Read four books on the subject of West Point or the Army.
*And I have said tearful goodbye close to 30 times.

I have been disappointed, upset, pushed around, been let down, and most of all I have felt alone. And all this time, people may wonder along with me... Did we/they meet too young?....Can she/I handle possibly another seven years or even military for life? Is she/I ruining the supposed best four years of her/my life?

I do not know these answers. I really don't try and find them either. Most of you may think I am nuts. I am constantly, and I mean constantly asked, how do you do this? My answer to all of these questions. I have absolutely no idea. I don't know what it is. I am extremely happy with my relationship and there is some force deep inside of me that gives me strength.

It keeps me going and has kept me going through this journey for the past four years. Call it true love or independence or even faith that God will make sure everything works out fine. I do believe that God never gives us more than we can handle. I think that I have probably been pushed to my limits a few times. But I know that this has made me a better person.

To *HIM: I've never met someone as brave or courageous as you for all that you do. I am extremely proud of you for sticking with this when so many people have given up. You're the most intelligent and most caring person I have ever met. I thank God for all that you have brought into my life. I am truly a better person because of you and all that you have done for me. I love you. I love you more and more each day.

Our weekend was amazing.

Saying goodbye has been getting easier. He hugged me for awhile and kept kissing my head. It seemed he didn't want to let go. I was sitting in the van and there was a family next to me dropping off their Army enlisted son. There was definitely a girlfriend who kept crying and kissing him and pulling him back when he tried to leave. I sorta of laughed. I remeber the harder goodbyes. But never did I try and make it worse. After we hugged and kissed, I would put my head down and walk away and sulk for the next week. It's not only hard for me, but I can see in *HIS eyes how hard it is for him. His dad told me that although it doesn't seem like it, it's soooo hard for parents. It's tough...

But after three years. I've learned that I'm ok. I always have been and I always will be. So I will continue this journey and the rough spots that go along with it. I truly believe that God has a plan for everyone. And so far, I really enjoy what he had planned out for me already....

New addition

I brought home a very cute puppy yesterday and its been adding a little spice to my life since. Do not worry, I did not fall off the deep end and go out and get another puppy. I am puppy-sitting Barrett and Leslie's 8 week old lab mix, Zoe.

I told Leslie as much as I would love to snuggle and play with the adorable puppy, I planned on crate training her until Sunday. You see, my house has still not recovered from Hurricane Daisy and chasing after a 8 week old and going through the dreaded "puppy" phase did not appease to me.

I remember him walking in the door about a month after we got Daisy and saying, "Did you know you could potty train a dog in 3 days by simply keeping it in its crate". I rolled my eyes at him and said that information would have been useful about 4 weeks ago.

Zoe's schedule:

Crate: 3 hours
Bathroom break: 5 minutes
Eat/drink: 5 minutes
Play: 30 minutes

Repeat

I think she is actually catching on and I swear up and down I am going to do this with my next dog. She whines briefly for about 1-2 minutes when I put her in the crate. And the best part, I only woke up at 3:45am, let her use the bathroom and went back to bed.

I am trying to decide if she is a good dog or if I am the next Cesar Millan.

Camera Shy?

I wanted to take my "end of the second phase" picture a day early, on day 59 for some reason. I was bound and determined. I even uped a few of my weights this morning with my shoulders and arms workout.

Well after eating half of the delicious chocolate cake MG and her hubby brought over, I decided against picture taking tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

A Patriotic Tornado

I think I have a love/hate relationship with July 4th. While I love my country, love our soldiers, especially my soldier, spending the holiday without him isn't fun. This would be our 10th holiday as a couple and we spent 1 together. July always fell under back to WP or back to work or back to summer school. I find it to be a romantic, patriotic holiday and I prefer to be patriotic and romantic with him....haha, obviously.

I did spend the 4th with some great girls (and a few of their husbands). Instead of fireworks last night, we watched a tornado warning/weather advisory on TV.

I will admit, its the most fun and most I laughed in quite some time. The news encouraged viewers to send in their "weather" photos. They also mentioned on several occasions for residents to seek shelter in the closet or stated, "Its now safe for X residents to come out of the closet". We could not stop laughing. For a little fun on our 4th of July, we decided to send in a photo of MG and I hiding in the closet asking if it was safe to come out of the closet.


Good times.



Tomorrow is Day 59 of my P90X program and I will be posting my Day 1, Day 30, and Day 60 (close enough) pictures so make sure to take a peak tomorrow.

Watch it

Now usually I am not a big fan of reviewing shows or encouraging people to watch this or that, however thanks to Chelsea Lately, I decided to tune into another reality show tonight. Katie and I fell in love with "Dance Your Ass Off" on Oxygen.

Think "Biggest Loser" meets "Dancing with the Stars" except the contestants look like they are enjoying themselves and the dancing made me laugh out loud on several different occasions.

Go ahead, watch it...and try and tell me I am wrong :)

Honesty

The lovely MG tagged me to reveal 10 true facts about myself.

1) I should be doing p90X Yoga right now. Instead I am updating my blog

2) Dakota and Daisy make me laugh out loud at least once per day. They bring SO much joy into my life especially with him deployed. The vet nicknamed Dakota velcro since she NEVER leaves my side. She is currently asleep at my feet as I type this.

3) Katie messed up a batch up Raspberry Almond brownies on Monday night (too gooey) and I finished off the entire pan by Tuesday night.

4) In my lifetime I wanted to be a professional women's basketball player, a lawyer, and a sports broadcaster.

5) I have learned more about life, responsiblity, and adversity in the past 7 months than in the past 24 years of my life.

6) For the past 4 months, my current maternal phase has told me that I do not want kids. This being the longest I have felt about NOT wanting kids. There was a time I wanted 4-6.

7) One of my favorite things to do is watch my little brother play football

8) I have not bought myself an outfit or pair of jeans since last July.

9) My next door neighbors have 11 kids. One day while cutting the grass, I walked into my house and found 4 of them running around my kitchen.

10) I consider myself unbelievably patient, love everyone, and always see the good in everyone. For instance, when I found the 4 kids running around my kitchen, I grabbed the 1 and 3 year old under my arms and yelled at the 5 and 6 year old to follow me back to their house.

I now tag....

Army, Alaska, Life

Just Breathe

On An Adventure

The Unexpected Army Life

Not. In. The. Mood.

Tonight I am hosting potluck at 6pm.

I walked in the door at 4pm. Walked into the laundry and instantly smelled poop.

Daisy pooped EVERYWHERE. She will be a year old this month and has NEVER done this, not even at 4-5 weeks old. Thank goodness for a hose and kiddie pool. I locked her and Dakota upstairs while mopping the floor (yeah poopy paw prints). When I went upstairs, Daisy puked all over the carpet.

WHAT DID SHE EAT?!

Icing on the cake. Today I finally replaced the entire AC unit. I am out 1300 dollars. However, this evening I just noticed its not working...again.