My Reintegration.

His family joked with me the day after his arrival that I should create a powerpoint slide with my OWN reintegration brief for him. After a week of having him back in my life, I am beginning to think its a great idea.

Slide 1: Dog Poop

Just because I did not pick it up every week while you were gone does not mean you do not have to pick it up every week. I had a lot on my plate with taking care of the house all by my lonesome. There are now two of us which means we can now do twice as much so you will now pick up the dog poop at least once a week

Slide 2: Feeding the Dogs

Our third dinner at home, we were all sitting at the kitchen table together. I glanced over at him and saw him handing big pieces of chicken to Daisy and Dakota. I almost fell off my chair.

WE DO NOT FEED THE DOGS TABLE FOOD! But if we do, we place it in their bowl, not hand it to them from the kitchen table. This creates bad habits.

Slide 3: Dishes

Once you are done eating your food, we place whatever dishware in the sink. I do not like playing "Guess where your cereal bowl is" every morning. One morning, no joke, found it on top of his dresser.

Slide 4: Cooking

I cooked for myself for one year. It might take me awhile to start cooking again for two, let alone cook anything besides in the microwave. Be patient, I am trying.

Slide 5: The Sheets

I did get use to sleeping diagonal in our bed and having all of the sheets. I might (will most definitely) steal the sheets for at least the first month. Again, be patient, I am trying.

Slide 6: Dirty Clothes

Nothing drives me crazy like dirty clothes all over our bedroom floor. Since you are being so patient with me, I will be patient with you. I will allow you to throw your clothes wherever you like for the next few weeks. You were in a war zone and you are my hero, therefore I will ignore the clothes...for a little while then its Laundry Nazi time.

Slide 7: Survial

You might find a few, or many, things you do not or will not approve of that I did to either 1) fix things for the time being or 2) get by. I am apologizing for those now. It will simply my means of survial.

Slide 8: You

I absolutely love having you home. I love waking up to my best friend and love being able to talk to you about anything and everything every single day. I just wanted to remind you in case I sounded a little crazy in the previous 7 slides :)

Best Deployment Advice

"These deployments actually do come to an end"- MG

If I wrote down every emotion I felt before and after I saw him, I could fill pages. When we walked in the door of our home and enjoyed time with our wonderful family and friends (including CLR), I felt incredibly blissful.

At 3am, I felt a large arm wrap around me, I kind of gasped in fear, then realized as he pulled me in a little closer this is my new normal. And even though he's been asleep for the past 5 hours and will probably sleep until tomorrow morning when he has to report for Day Two of reintegration, I am still so happy to have him back.

Surreal...

Tonight I am going to bed by myself (well my girls, as always, will be with me) for the last time this deployment. You know when people say, someone pinch me? I think I need something a little more painful because I am trying to comprehend the whole reality of this.

I am in a much better place compared to my pouting days earlier this week. My family is here...my parents, his parents, his sister, his grandmother, and his brother and new fiance. Right now I am loving life, but really do not believe its true.

I love that my ladies I train counted down the days with me and when they saw me today, their energy and genuine excitement put me in such a great place, but still do not think he is REALLY coming home to me.

One last step tomorrow. I am hoping for smooth sailing, I know those two words contradict the Army, but one can hope and keep hoping.

Pout

I am currently pouting. Yes, I know, WHY IN GOD'S NAME am I pouting? This will be my last Sunday night alone. I am 99% done, my donut says "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and family starts arriving Wednesday.

But here I am, for some reason being Mrs. Frumpy Pants.

He can calm me like no other. Looking back on this deployment I was incredibly blessed to have some kind of communication with him almost every single day. Yesterday he took the first step in his long journey back home to me and I knew my favorite nightly chats would stop for a bit.

But cmon, I get him in person in just days! STOP pouting already.

I kind of did the same thing before R&R. His three days of traveling, we did not talk once and I began pouting just like I am tonight.

BUT HE IS COMING HOME IN LESS THAN 130 HOURS.

I think ultimately I am afraid of our next chapter. This deployment brought us so much closer, closer than we have ever been in 10 years together. I loved the sweet messages and emails. I spent all day trying to remember what our life was like living together before the "big D". Did we fight a lot? Were we as sweet together as we are now? Did I appreciate him as much as I do now?

Will I be a good wife? I spent the last 11.5 months being on my own. I did well taking care of myself, but now I go back to taking care of him too.

And the icing on my pouty cake, a "friend" of ours from flight school, who also happens to be married messaged me this morning to tell me she ran into him and "gave him a BIG hug for me". Thanks sweetheart, but I can hug him just fine when he gets home. She's another post for another time.

Normally I do not feel like this, I do not really vent in my blog because I typically vent to him and he makes it magically better. I tell him everything. It would go something like this 1) I tell him all of the above concerns 2) He solves each one individually 3) Then makes me laugh until my mouth hurts for being so ridiculous.

I AM BEING RIDICULOUS.

I know in just a few short days I will be in his arms and it will feel like heaven on earth, but right now I am nervous, scared, and definitely pouting.

If you would ask me 345 days ago how I would feel at this time, never, ever would I imagine this, but right now I would love to have someone here to shake some sense into me.

Tagged!

The very sweet K-pod passed along an award and gave me this adorable award! Here are the rules:

1. You can only use one word!

2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.

3. Alert them that you have given them this award!

4. Have Fun!

The Survey

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk

2. Your hair? Blonde

3. Your mother? Bestest

4. Your father? Spoils

5. Your favorite food? Chocolate

6. Your dream last night? Work

7. Your favorite drink? Water

8. Your dream/goal? Successful

9. What room are you in? Office

10. Your hobby? Exercising

11. Your fear? Losing

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Him

13. Where were you last night? Gym

14. Something that you aren’t? Creative

15. Muffins? Banana

16. Wish list item? Clothes

17. Where did you grow up? The "Region"

18. Last thing you did? Blog

19. What are you wearing? Workout

20. Your TV? F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

21. Your pets? Two!

22. Friends? Fantastic

23. Your life? Waiting

24. Your mood? Anxious

25. Missing someone? Absolutely

26. Vehicle? Camry

27. Something you’re not wearing? Sneakers

28. Your favorite store? Target

29. Your favorite color? Black

30. When was the last time you laughed? Today

31. Last time you cried? Hmmm

32. Your best friend? Smile

33. One place that I go to over and over? Home

34. One person who e-mails me regularly? MIL

35. Favorite place to eat? Sushi

Sadly I think everyone has been tagged because I waited so long :(

End of an Era

As I am approaching the end of my first deployment, I am starting to realize a lot of things change as you reach the end. My first change...Super Jeni is leaving in less than a week.

Its bittersweet because I actually found myself wanted time to slow down (yes I know?!) time.

This Friday marked 47 weeks down. At week 2, after the holidays, I emailed a few girls whose husbands all left on the same night and said, let's start a weekly pot luck.

45 weeks later, with an exception of maybe 4 or 5 times, we met every week for dinner. It turned out to be exactly what I wanted it to be. Every week, no matter how we felt or how sad or overwhelmed deployment made us on that day, we met. It kind of turned into my deployment family.

Tonight was our last dinner together. Yes, I may actually be getting teary-eyed typing this.

What yours is mine?

Another habit I probably should break before he comes home:

Our conversation today.

Him- When are you heading over to Leslie's?
Me- Probably around the time the trick or treaters show up since I forgot to buy candy.
Him- Haha, what? Are you going to hide from them?
Me- Yes that will be easy. I'll just hide in my room.
Him- Just hide in your room, huh? By any chance is that next to OUR room?
Me- Dang it!

I have been so use to saying my room, my house, my dogs and I do not mean to!

In other him news, I finally started the infamous "Donut of Misery" today. It read: 94% DONE! What a glorious time to start it :)