Your way of thinking...

On our 12 hour drive back from PA, I thought a lot about his grandfather. My husband calls him, "One of the last true great Americans" and we also joked and called him the medical miracle.

It truly makes me wonder, how did a 94 year old who has only 17% of his heart working (1 artery = 100% blocked), cancer, and kindey failure get stronger as the weekend went on?! You heard me right, his grandfather is now set to leave the hospital. The doctors continued to say, "He is making liars out of all of us". This same man was blown up in WWII, stayed in a hospital for over a year, still has shrapnel from the bomb in his body.

I just keep shaking my head in amazement.

Makes me think I am weak. I complain about all kinds of stuff...aches, pains, work, etc. Maybe Grandpa tells himself he is going to be ok and he ends up being just fine. I thought in the car, I need to start thinking more positively and stop worrying so darn much.

After 26 hours of traveling in 3 short days, the trip was well worth it. I learned a valuable lesson from him, I just need to change my way of thinking.

Emotion Overload

One of his closest friends has hit rock bottom. His girlfriend of 8 years moved out of their house last week and this just devasted him. So much so, he asked to come stay with us to avoid being alone. Along with him, came his dog, Rowdy. This dog is eating us out of house and home. My Dakota has not been too pleased with this.

His friend cannot snap out of it. My heart just breaks for him.

Speaking of heart breaking, his grandfather took a turn for the worse. The doctors lost him twice in his recent surgery and he went into a coma.

Yesterday morning (it seems like 15 years ago) around 5:30am, my hubby finished packing for his 30 day training trip. We were about to walk out the door when I saw Rowdy head for Dakota's food. I tried to pull him away while Dakota growled. Next thing I knew, Rowdy lunged at Dakota and Dakota did NOT back down. I started screaming. The hubby tried to grab Rowdy and I tried to grab Dakota. I saw blood going everywhere.

Scariest thing I've ever seen. I could not stop shaking.

Afterwards we realized most of the blood was my husbands. His hand looked awful. I told him several of his cuts needed stitches. Typical male, he assured me, he would be just fine and needed to AMC this cross-country flight. I dropped him off at 6:30am and headed to work. I received a phone call after 30 minutes that the flight surgeon wanted him to get stiches.

On our way to the hospital, we received a call from my father-in-law. The family decided to take him off his life support and gave him 2-24 hours.

One short hour of a hospital visit later, we headed straight home and packed up for ? amount of days. Which I can say, is not an easy task. I am a planner and now I know why. I just threw every kind of outfit in my suitcase and sat on it until it closed.

12 hours later, we made it to small town USA in PA.

His grandfather, in typical Grandpa style, is again proving us all wrong. The doctors say he's stronger, but a lot of his organs aren't functioning the way they should and will probably never recover.

It's been a long day and I am sure its the first of many long days ahead.

Let it out.

Eight weeks ago at work, I....

Received a letter of reprimand
Was suspended for 6 weeks of work
Was Demoted
Received a pay deduction

I would love to tell you it was deserved, I really would. I have no problem owning up my mistakes. It was honestly the most bogus thing ever. In 15 years of having a job, I've never had any of the above happen.

I truly believe it was because I held my ground. I have zero regrets. But man I cannot stop questioning myself...

There was not a doubt in my mind, while my boss told everyone, "I was honeymooning", during those 6 weeks I would come back and hand her a letter of resignation.

But I cannot. Why? I love these women so much.

I walked back into work with my head held high and my boss started bawling and I just stood and stared at her. She told me everyone asked about me and that she missed me.

What?

You think after 8 weeks it wouldn't make my stomach turn, but it does.

Whew. I feel some kind of relief letting it out into "the open".

Do not drink the water.

Last night, he turned over in bed and looked at me and said, "You want a baby now, don't you".



I should have guessed he would have said something along those lines. She's my younger sister...graduated college before me, engaged before me, married before me, now baby before me. I swear the day she announced her engagement, my now hubby turned white, probably thinking he would need to pop the question sooner than he would have liked.



No competition between us, I swear. I am more than pumped to spoil my little niece or nephew rotten. But I am sure my sweet husband feels the heat whether I put it there or not. There is no denying it, there is something in the water.

We sang the song in grade school...first come love then comes marriage...oh wait, now baby?



I dislike the phrase, "We are not ready". Maybe cause I am one of three kids and none of us were planned or I truly believe God is going to give you a baby whether you are ready or not.



So for now I am sticking with the phrase, "There is no rush, we are extremely content where we are right now". I know a baby in the future will be the biggest blessing.





For right now, I have these blessings :)




::Sidenote:: Daisy is obsessed with the hubby, I mean obsessed. Our girls are NOT allowed on the furniture, but a friend's dog came over and everytime the dog got anywhere close to HER daddy, Daisy jumped on his lap ready to pounce. We could not stop laughing and even allowed her on the furniture to snap a picture.

A Happy Monday...by Choice

I came across a quote this morning, perfect for a Monday morning:

"Each day when I get up, I CHOOSE to be happy and then try to build my day around that"

There are ugly things looming over my head, but today I am going to remember a few things.

1) I just found out this morning I am going to be an aunt for the very first time! It's going to be hard to keep it a secret for the next month, but thank goodness I can share the news here. I feel everyone around me is pregnant, but this will be the first in my immediate family.

2) My 3rd half-marathon is in 11 days. On Saturday I completed a very difficult 12 mile course and felt suprisingly good afterwards. It *almost* convinced me to sign up for a marathon in 2011. I ran with some amazing, inspiring women and I think they made all the difference.

I am also running for a charity which I truly believe provides a little more incentive in my training and of course with the 13.1 mile course coming up.

So I am going to build my day around that.

Why blog...

I think the word "busy" would just be an excuse.

During our three week honeymoon, we stopped to visit his grandparents in small town USA. His grandparents are notorious for sitting on their front porch and making small talk.

I have sat on that front porch numerous times over the years and never in all my visits did I hear so many stories. Stories of his grandfather in the war, how they met, their favorite memories of each kid, including my father-in-law. We talked out there for almost nine hours in our short 24 hour visit.

You see, his grandfather is nearly 95 years old and the entire family has been trying to convince him to move into assisted living. Everytime we mentioned it, he prefaced another story with "I've lived a great life and have great memories. I wouldn't change a thing".

We shared some of the stories with his parents and sat in shock. Some of these stories they have not even heard.

During this same time, I was finishing a book by James Patterson, "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas". The book is about a mother keeping a diary for her newborn son.

I guess during this time, I realized the power of a story or a memory, whether good or bad. I also remembered why I started my blog nearly 7 years ago....

Get busy living.

The past few weeks I've surprised myself. I am enjoying and doing things that if you asked me a couple of years ago I would laugh and say never in a million years...

Baking & Cooking

With the extra time on my hands, I've made dinner almost every night. A week ago I received this from a dear friend:

Since receiving this and my wonderful cookbook holder, I've managed to whip up homemade chili, citrus tilipia, banana bread and get this....A berry (blackberries & blueberries) pie from SCRATCH! Huge accomplishment. And not only was it edible, it tasted delicious. Minus the whole wheat flour, I swear the personal trainer in me has substituted every baking/cooking item in my house. Next time, I might use white *cringe* flour.

Reading

Also finished my second book this month. Both by Elin Hilderbrand, Summer Affair and this beauty:

I recommend both of them if you are looking for a good trashy, summer read :)

Exercise

I've attempted every workout under the sun. I've never been a big fan of Yoga. I grew up playing basketball, soccer, and volleyball which means the more sweat the better. I tried 7 yoga classes and walked out of 6 of them. I started enjoying it a little more after P90X, still would never try it more than once a week. That being said, my physical therapist strongly recommended it for my headaches and stress with wedding planning.

I began DVRing Namaste Yoga on Fit TV. I can now say I love Yoga. Like truly enjoy, do it 4 times a week now, like it. And not only am I enjoying it, I can see results and am getting pretty darn good at it.

All three of things just shock me, even while typing this post. However, they all make me proud and smile just a little. I guess I will just have to keep trying new things :)

Oh yeah t-minus 9 days...