Week Sixteen...Week Seventeen

I am OVER it. So over it.

When I finally sat down today, my dad called to tell me he didn't think he could watch the dogs next weekend. I had my first complete and utter breakdown since he left 17 weeks ago.

My past two weeks

Work

Broke not 1, but 2 printers and honestly sat on the phone for one hour yesterday while our IT guy tried to explain how to upload the MP feeder. Yeah, not going to happen, just send someone to fix it. I don't have the time or patience for it, but yet he kept trying to explain this impossible task to me.

I forgot my password one week after working. Keep in mind I type this password in 20 times a day minimum and had to call IT.

And of course my suspended license

Money

I have never been good with money or budgeting. I glance at my accounts online every once in a blue moon. I realized my first check did not automatically deposit, four days after the fact. I am also in between switching banks and thought I had all my ducks in a row until today. I remembered my car payment came out of my account that I am closing, so I bounced my first "check" and am now in the negative.

And when does it end? Bridesmaid dresses, vet appointments, race registrations, even sending care pacakges. Sometimes I wish it really did grow on trees, at least every once in awhile.

My dogs

Well it all started with the thought of boarding them two weeks ago. Oh yeah, did you know that cost money too?!

After raving about my favorite Nine West high heels I bought 6 years ago for $100 (my most expensive clothing purchase ever) to my friend Kristyn, I began packing for the wedding. And when I reached for the shoes, one was missing. I looked underneath my bed, also known as Daisy's cave, and saw the right one absolutely destroyed in her mouth.

I also hate dog hair and Daisy's hair is just out of control and almost overwhelming. When I am not at work, I am following her around the house with my vacuum.

Sunday night after an exhausting weekend, I came home to Daisy and her brand new urinary tract infection. She peed on my carpet for the first time since October. And then again on the kitchen floor and then on the dining room floor. During the night, she woke me up every 2 hours to go outside. Sometimes we made it outside, other times we did not.

Three nights later...I am still waking up every 2 hours with her. Vet appointment is scheduled for Saturday, once my check deposits. Again you need money to see the vet.

Him

After one of the best weekends since he left, I ached the entire ride back home with thoughts of missing him. I loved I was a part of their special day, but these are his friends and it just wasn't the same without him.

I also did not hear from him all week, which I am ok with, but I just needed him a little more this week than normal. And of course the whole "I email you every single night and you cannot just hit reply" mentality came bubbling up to the surface.


I mowed the grass a week ago and it needs to be cut again, like badly. I did not run once this week. My bridesmaid dress still has not come in (wedding next weekend) and I spent a good part of the week talking with numerous representatives at the bridal online store. His grandfather's cancer just doubled in size and we really doubt he will make it to his R&R. I was looking forward to driving home this weekend and leaving my dogs there all next week since I am out of town next weekend for my best friend's wedding and just really need a break. And believe it or not, I was looking forward to cleaning my house, like REALLY clean. Then my dad called and said next week might not workout.

Enter: tears

I do not think he knew those few, simple sentences could do that much damage, but there is some baggage behind it.

I hate playing the "poor me" card, but I am just so over the deployment right now.

I did realize through of this that the love of my life really does make everything go away, I absolutely love the friends in my life, I am actually pretty good at my job, I love cupcakes, and my dad will do anything for me. Like promise me ice cream tomorrow night.

I guess if this is the worst of it, I am still alive and kicking. And it can only get better, right?