After talking with some of my favorite miltary wives here and nearing the end, we are all starting to burn out and reach the "I am over it" phase. While talking with them and other wives, I realized there are a few myths about deployment.
1. "Wow, he deployed X months ago. Time sure flies!"
No, I do not think so. Its been 10 months and to be honest, it FEELS like 10 months. Over 300 days without him and I went through all 24 hours of each of those days. Thank you.
2. "If you keep yourself busy, it will help"
I agree to an extent, but I worked 60 hours a week with 2 dogs and a house for a few months and I could not get everything done. As a result I stressed myself out. I know a few other working wives who feel the same way.
3. "A strong group of friends will help"
Now, do not get me wrong, without a few close friends here, who knows if I'd survive this long. In reality, only one person truly makes everything go away and only one person truly helps me in any situation. That is why I married him. With 90% of my Murphy's Law incidents, if he was around, I would not feel as though my world was crashing down in those moments.
4. "If you do X, X, and X, it will make it easier" or "It gets better with time"
Nope. The only thing that has made this process easier is one day at a time. There are no special remedies or no "it gets better with time". It doesn't get better with time. You just take it as it comes and smile a little bit longer at those bright spots in your day.
The truth is and recently I find myself saying it over and over again...Its ONE ENTIRE YEAR. Not everything is rosy, I will not always keep myself busy, I will not always feel glass half full.
And finally when I reach the end, myth #5 "You survived"
No, no, no. WE SURVIVED. I made a pact with God before he left that I could handle anything this deployment and to do whatever He wanted with me, but just keep my husband safe. Sure God tested me a few times, but I do not care, keep testing me just bring him home to me.
Almost there :)
8 comments:
HUGS!!!
I definitely see those!
Great post! (((HUGS)))
I loved #5. I really never thought about it that way, but saying "I survived" takes away from what our husbands had to endure, which I'm 100% sure is worse.
Thanks for sharing :)
I totally agree with you on all those comments. Yes things HELP but nothing makes a deployment not suck.
It's funny, being freshly done, I keep thinking "that wasn't so bad!!!" and then I remember all of the hell I went through with knee surgeries, paw surgeries, going to funerals alone, etc....it was bad!!! But, you are SO SO SO SO SO strong that I am 100% confident yall will make it and be so much better for it. Plus, you have a wedding to look forward to!!
Great post, this is all soooooo true. I especially agree with just taking one day at a time.
Reading DAR's comment, it made me think about how women tend to get really happy just after giving birth, almost like they forgot about how crappy it was. And so it goes with deployment, once they're back and you're so happy it's over, you start to think it wasn't that bad.
Thank you!! I'm so glad to hear someone who agrees with me on number 2 =). I hated it when people said, "At least you're staying busy!" in that chipper voice like it made everything better. I can see how being bored out of your skull would be bad, but I don't see being frantically, insanely, overwhelmedly busy as being any better. . . .
It's good to hear what you're saying, because I'm sure those are all going to be said to me soon.
Thanks for sharing, and I can't wait to be 10 months down! (since I'm 2 months away... remind me that I said that a year from now!)
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