The constant bouncing back and forth between houses can at times be a bit stressful for us right now. I also realized in the past 5 months, we have spent every day and night together.
And what an accomplishment that we still love each other and laugh while playing Wii or walking the dogs at night. I remember way back when, hearing people talk about how different living together versus just dating really can be. I never understood it until now and it is kind of hard to explain.
Of course with all the visits we made over the past 2 weeks to say his good-byes, people tilt their head and ask, "And so how are handling this?". I look and honestly reply, "Just fine, I prepared for this day over 7 years ago when he first told me he wanted to go to West Point".
It is inevitable how much I will miss him and his victory dance, his hugs and laugh, the way he talks to the dogs, and so much more, but for some reason I do not find myself contemplating him leaving or the fact he will not return until late 2009. I actually wish I could push him onto a plane and get this show on the road. I am actually concentrating more on my goals I need to accomplish and the life I need to start living without him.
At lunch with the wonderful Megan a few weeks ago, she made an excellent point of how there is another life you are ready to get started in order to begin the countdown for his return.
That is where I am at now.
For awhile I thought it would be his mom consoling me as he walked away to get on his flight, but the more I talk to her, I realize I actually have to prepare myself to be the strong one. Today I saw his grandfather cry as Dave walked out the door. I gave him a big hug and said, he is going to be OK. And when I stopped by his dad's office, his secretary told me how nervous his father gets when talking about him leaving.
When Dave turned to me the other day and asked how do I feel. I responded with an enthusiastic, "I am so excited for you".
Does this sound crazy? I am actually excited for the love of my life to head into a war zone? Over the years when I mention West Point, I am immediately hit with the questions of deployment. I respond quite confidently with the whole, "If you want people over there, you want people over there like him".
He has worked the past 6 and a half years and prepared for this very moment of his life.
And let me tell you, I guess I have done some preparation of my own because right now my whole mentality is bring it on.
6 comments:
I am so glad you are in such a good place about this! I would have given anything to be in that place when Scott left!!! You are going to soar through this deployment!!
You are such an awesome person to be dealing with this type of situation. That mentality right there of "I am so excited for you." tell me how strong you will be during this. That's amazing.
It's true though. After all the WP years, I kept telling my husband "Well this is what we trained for, this is what we have been waiting for... so you better go out there and do what you gotta do and do it well."
That's as far as I got. ;)
I'm super impressed that you have such a great attitude about his deployment, I knew you would :-) I'm sure the time will pass quickly for you. Good luck getting through the last few days you have together, let me know if you need anything!
I have been trying to put into words that same feeling for so long. That is exactly how I feel... And it's just so hard to explain to anyone who doesn't have to experience this kind of thing.
I totally get what you mean about being excited for him. Of course you don't want him to go but this is what he is has trained for all this time! I also know what you mean wanting to just get things started and get er done! The last few days are agony, and I always felt like after day one, I wouldn't be staring down the barrell of a year anymore.
You have such an awesome outlook on it!! It was a weird realization to find that I was going to be the strong one through this and his entire family would fall apart. After two months of it though, I am finding myself more angry about it, though. It's not fair that I always have to be the strong one while his mother is a drama queen and emotional wreck, and it's not fair that she lets Z know on a daily basis how much of a wreck she is. At least I am holding it together for Z, though. I think, in the end, that's what matters.
After all of these years of WP and TRADOC, we have to be prepared. I mean, we've known this day was coming for years. It doesn't make it a lot easier on D-Day, but after that, it is so much easier. That last week, I found myself just waiting for him to leave, almost just anxious for it. The anticipation of it was the worst, and I swear to goodness, not a single day of the last 10 weeks have been as hard as those last few days before he left.
Hang in there, you are going to come through this with flying colors and Dave is going to be SOOOO proud of you!
Post a Comment